thoughtformed | How do you find a rogue?

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rogue

How do you find a rogue?

Who: Rogue and YOU
What: With the news of a certain Cajun having been released this girl is running, or at least hiding.
Where: Hiding out in the library, if you're able to find her that is.
When: Today

Rogue liked keeping a low profile. In fact, she preferred having no profile at all and simply be left alone. Being alone meant peace, quiet and safety. Safety from others who would want to harm her and from her harming someone else. Sure, it meant losing a few friends but she was fine on her own. Heck, if Logan could do it, then why couldn't she?

She managed to keep to herself, staying inside her room and not posting to the network. She wasn't reaching out to others or heard any of them trying to reach out to her. The phone she had was kept in the bottom drawer of her nightstand as it's permanent home. There was no point in dealing with people on New Moore. Rogue came to that realization after days of not hearing back from Remy.

He was hard to get a hold of, but now he was gone. They both had a knack for disappearing when they wanted to, but he would've left her something to let her know things were good between them. Right? As days went by and she continued to hear nothing from him, she came to the only one conclusion. He was gone, released and left a hole in her heart. They never clarified what they were, but she did have feelings for the man.

What better way to forget about him and everyone else than to hide out in the library? The seemingly endless rows of books and study tables would make it hard to find her.

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The rows of books and tables may make her hard to find, but apparently not hard enough. Koizumi is determined, as well as preternaturally gifted at showing up in places he is unwanted - and yet, far too often, sorely needed.

He leans quietly and unannounced against the side of the bookshelf behind her table, not saying anything, eyes inscrutable. He doesn't have to ask what happened, why she's here, or why she's not answering her phone. The answers are all obvious - and at the moment, at least to him, irrelevant. All that's important right now is that he's here for her when she needs someone - and he won't be pushed away, no matter how hard she might try.

After many moments, he speaks, voice quiet and reserved. "...I'm sorry. I know you were close."

Rogue was sitting at the table with the hood of her jacket drawn up to cover her head. She didn't want anything to stand out on her person. Her two-toned hair was always a great indicator of just who she was. She wanted to be left alone and thus far it has worked. No one had come up to her to check up on what she was doing or reading. Her solace was broken once she heard the soft footfalls of someone coming up from behind her.

They didn't bother to touch her or reach out. No, they stayed behind and let her continue to read.

Or at least they let her.

Her blood ran cold hearing those words and answer swelled up.

"You don't know anything, so shut your mouth."

When Sirius spotted Rogue - it really wasn't difficult to check out likely places she'd be at - he simply sat down next to her without a word, pushing a paper cup of black coffee toward her and watched her from the side. He didn't say anything, because sometimes there really wasn't anything to say. He knew from experience.

Maybe Rogue should've decided how long she planned on staying at the library. She didn't want to stay cooped up in her room, nor did she feel like heading anywhere else. The library was a nice place to try and get her mind off of him and away from everyone else.

Apparently being alone was such a hard, impossible thing to do.

She slumped a little lower in her eat when she heard footsteps coming towards her, trying to keep herself hidden. Much to her disappointment she was spotted and her intruder sat next to her and pushed some coffee towards her. Rogue's walls came up, thinking Sirius was showing her pity. She slammed her book shut and pushed her seat back.

Maybe it was time to hold herself up in her room again.

"No fair, love. You came visiting me when I told you not to, you don't get to just walk away. I didn't, either." Granted, that had mostly been because he hadn't been all that sure on his legs that night.

"I know life sucks. I'm not going to try and make you feel better about it. But at least you're not getting to feel alone."

"That as a very different circumstance," Rogue snapped, taking her book and holding it to her chest.

"I was better off bein' alone when I first got here. Would've saved me a hall of a lot of time."

"I know. Friends are such a time waster." Sirius shook his head and sipped from the coffee cup he'd brought for himself. "Real annoying." He arched an eyebrow. "You do realize that I'm just gonna be following you?"

"Follow me and I'll deck you." Really, she would. She had a pretty good right hook.

"I don't want pity, I don't want anything from you."

"I don't even pity myself, Rogue, so you'd really be barking up the wrong tree. Though if decking me helps, maybe it'd be therapeutic."

Sirius shrugged and leaned back in his seat. "You're not the first to lose someone. Not the last, either. Happens all the time. Sucks every time. And there's nothing to do about it. So you better be pissed, miserable, whatever you wanna be, but don't wallow. That's no good."

"Who the fuck says I'm wallowing? Do I look like it?" And if the answer was yes, then maybe she would try to hit him.

To her, it wasn't wallowing. She was protecting herself from anymore emotional pain. People came and left, Sirius included, so there was no real point in getting attached. No point in talking to someone who would eventually leave.

"All I want is some fucking time to myself. Where's the crime in that?"

To avoid being hit, Sirius wisely refrained from a reply and just silently lifted his eyebrows. He shrugged finally and shook his head.

"No crime. Come, have some coffee, throw it or whatever else you want in my face and then you can be all alone again. I'm your friend, though, so I wanted to check on you."

After that out burst, Rogue wanted to continue lashing out at Sirius. Mentioning that he was her friend, which in hindsight he was, didn't make things better for her. She wasn't about to make more of a scene, but damn it was hard to hold her tongue. Rogue bowed her head and took a deep breath.

"I don't want coffee, Sirius."

"Fair enough. Just." Sirius was silent for a few moments, staring at her and biting down on his lower lip. "Just know that I'm concerned. Very. I've seen you faint before."

He shrugged and took a step back. "Say when you're ready. But I'll seek you out again if it's too long."

"I fainted from lack of sleep." Which was the truth, but if she had spoken out sooner then she wouldn't have. She was being stubborn then as she was now.

"I'm not ready for anything, Sirius. There was...there was nothing to be hurt over." There was a pause as she looked back up at him.

"How did you know he and I were close?"

"Because I'm quite good at reading between the lines." Sirius looked at her, smiling a little, but only in sympathy. "And I talked to him a little. Nothing much, nothing huge, but enough to hint at something."

He stepped closer again, trying to hold her gaze. "Long before you ever got here, there was someone... Two someones, I supposed. They left at the same time. One of them I knew from back home. It was... complicated." He sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. "There are so many things I never got to say."

"Maybe you're reading something that was never supposed to be there." She kept her gaze on him, forcing herself to stay in place and not storm off like an upset child.

"Let me guess, you regret it?"

"Maybe. But it was there, anyway." Sirius snorted, not a very happy sound, shaking his head although he wasn't even sure what he was negating. A lot of things, probably.

"No. Maybe. Doesn't bloody matter. I just hate that they left. I just hate that I'm here without them. And that if they ever come back, one won't know me at all other than a character in a book and the other will..." He breaks off, biting down on his lip. "I'm just angry."

"It shouldn't have been there.." the last string of words were muttered more to herself than to him. She was stupid to think she and Gambit could be anything. The island kept bringing them together, making her think something was there but now she would never know. Nor would she prefer to know.

Aside from that, he knew. He knew what she was going through more than anyone else. She was angry, she was heartbroken and feeling stupid for believing she was happy with him.

There was a long stretch of silence before she finally spoke again.

"I shouldn't have stayed away from him. It would've saved me so much trouble."

"It's not fair." Sirius, who thought he knew a thing or two about injustice, could say this much with full conviction, at least. He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, after making sure it was covered properly. No need to bring her down to his level again.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry he's gone."

Rogue was torn between moving and staying once she saw Sirius move forward. She stayed in her spot, feeling the extra weight of his hand on her clothed shoulder. It wasn't fair, but what could they do about it?

"...Don't be sorry. It's probably for the better for him and me."

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How do you find a rogue?

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