You know, I actually haven't even been outside my apartment in like, three days. I've been doing nothing but just... reading this book. It's a really, super good book! It's mega weird, though, because I don't think I've just picked up a book and read it in... oh, I dunno, like 300 years? Something like that.

It's a love story, first of all. Or at least, I think it is. It's about these two kids who fall in love, but their families totally hate each other, right? And then they decide that they wanna run away from it all, but it gets complicated, and people die, and the two kids accidentally end up- whoops! Spoilers!

If anyone wants to read it, I'll happily lend it out. BUT only if you give me one of yours to read instead.

What's been going on out here, anyway?

I was hoping for a little more destruction and burning, but I guess I'll have to take what I can get around here.

I couldn't even get a decent hula hoop session going. This place wishes it was as smokin' hot as the Fire Kingdom.

I hate this place. Why does everyone keep leaving like this? It's not fair! Can't even keep one stupid vampire around this stupid place.

Didn't think I'd be this lonely. I've been alone before, so why is this different? It sucks. Big time.


( Ransom note left on The Once-ler's front door )

So there's a mushy-gooey lovey-dovey holiday coming up, right? I'm seeing candy and hearts and stuff everywhere for it, so I think maybe I'll try my hand at making some chocolates of my own.

Does anyone have a heart I can use as a mold?

You're kidding me. [There's almost a laugh because really, this is ridiculous. And then there's silence, because he's plucking the com piece from his ear and shoving it into his pocket.] Best equipment SHIELD can make and it stops working...

[And now he's talking normally.]The best story anyone can tell me is that I'm fictional. Really? Because I find that really hard to believe, and I've seen a lot of things.

I don't know what kind of joke this is - and if it is a joke, and if it's FitzSimmons or Skye, someone's going to pay, I swear - [There's a sigh.]

I need someone to fill me in on what's really going on.

[ Did someone call for another little gray girl?

Maybe the biggest change about Vriska is not that she's small, but visibly alive, with those bright yellow peepers of hers. ]

I found this thing. What's it doing here? Where am I? Am I talking to anyone? ... where's my lusus? I can't leave her alone. She needs me.

Where is this stupid place? The sun's different. Am I even still on Alternia?

[ The feed comes in shaky, as if the photographer has no idea which end is up. When the video does come through, it's upside-down and it shows a little girl with grey skin and pointy teeth and ears. ]

Hello? Can anyone hear me? I found this camera, but I don't know if it works... Simon told me about them... Has anyone seen him? He's got white hair.. kind of a big nose, glasses.. has a big old crown with him.. Oh, and he has blue skin, too. I need to find him.

[ The feed clicks on to Marceline grinning like a maniac and holding her new red bass guitar with a note that says "First Place" on it. She emphatically points to it. ]

I guess that dance wasn't much of a waste of time after all, punks! Check out what I won from that weird camera contest! Finally, something to bust out some jams on and I don't even have to borrow it from anyone else! Ha!

[ She floats a bit back from the camera to show off the guitar in full. She tightens one of the strings and strums and begins to sing a little. ]

La la la la~
Such a lonely holiday
All so dark and cold without a ray
of sun.

La la la la~
When I'm missin' your smile
And I'm hoping it'll be worthwhile
to see you again~

[ She stops and shrugs. ]

It's a work in progress. I'm a little rusty.

Thanks, Cecil, man. You were pretty rad.

Ramona... please. Return this.

HOT OR NOT

you missed it, don't lie

NOT EVEN UP FOR DEBATE SHES SMOKIN

HOT OR NOT

EVERYONE IS SO HOT IM GONNA DIE

HOT OR NOT


I TRIED TO TAKE A BAD PIC OF HIM IT DIDNT WORK

HOT OR NOT


HAHAHA THIS ONE DID

HOT OR NOT


MULTICOLORED HOTTIE

HOT OR NOT


WHY IS THERE A PUPPET............

HOT OR NOT

Hey... does anyone have a guitar they're not really using right now? Or a bass preferably... I'm going through some mondo stuff and I just... really need to write some music. I'll only have it for like, a day at the most, promise.

Ah - much as I hate to be the bearer of bad, especially as things are just beginning to seem like they might be looking up - the release list has arrived. I'm afraid to say it's not small this month. [Koizumi's expression is open and serious, voice informal but with an undercurrent of tension and sadness. This is a sharp contrast to his usual cheerful, enigmatic smile.]

Persons released during the month of September include:

Chrona
Ikari Shinji
Katsura Kotaro
Nick Miller
Nagisa Kaworu
Jake English
Roxas
Clint Barton
Lizzie Bennet
Xion
Zatanna Zatara
Toph Bei Fong
Sora
Lea
Isaac Lahey
Meenah Peixes
Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum
Darcy Lewis

[There's a lingering pause, as Koizumi glances down, out of the camera frame. A few moments later, he looks back, sympathy and understanding on his face.] I'm so sorry to anyone who lost friends. If there's anything I might do, please do not hesitate to let me know.

So, it has come to my attention that some of you might need some pointers on Halloween and what it all means. Well, luckily for all of you, I happen to be a world-class expert on Halloween, and will be more than happy to field any of your questions.

First of all, it's a holiday, obviously. But what's it celebrating? Why, it's celebrating the one time of year that the dead can rise from their graves and walk the Earth with their monster buddies. So what does that have to do with anything? Well, it's pretty simple, so you'd better pay attention, all right? It is said that the dead can be driven away from the townsfolk, where they'll feast on flesh and bone, and even your very soul. How, you ask? Well, you notice how this time of year, places are always selling costumes and stuff? That's because the dead are easily distracted, and sometimes not very smart. So you dress up, blend in, and keep them away from other people's houses using carved pumpkins and gourds and watermelon and stuff as lanterns. And as payment from the people in the houses, they sometimes give out candy or toys or something for keeping them alive.

Of course, the dead aren't completely stupid, so if you don't do it right, then they can spot you out of a crowd pretty easily. They can hear you, taste you, smell you. Kinda like an animal.

So how are you going to rectify that? How do you smell like a zombie? Or a werewolf? Or a mummy? I'll let you figure that out. In the meantime, I've gotta sharpen my fangs and practice my shapeshifting so I can really get in on this Halloween action.

Hey! So, I wanted to ask about-- [ excuse the velicoraptor cutting him off and climbing on top of him and nipping at his head ] --oof...Excuse you, Lady McNuggets.. [ He pushes her off and then scoots over to make room while she settles down next to him. We're just going to sit next to a raptor during this. Totally normal. ] ...I've lost my train of thought. Thanks.

I guess I'll start over. Umm. Alright so you're the weirdest pirates ever but I think you're all aware of that. Moving on. Aisling and I had this conversation that got into peanut butter before, which I had never known about and I think is pretty great, and now I'm just kind of wondering about other food. What's like a normal thing that I should really know about? [ he shoves Indy away a bit because she's preening his head but after she insists on doing it he just accepts his fate, drops his hand, and lets her after a moment. sigh. ]

And, well Rapunzel's apparently researching Halloween so I won't ask about that or you're just being repetitive on this. From what I grasped it was like Winternights only you have a costumed sweet-collection going on? Yeah. Anyway, someone mentioned meals too and I doubt anyone's trying to sacrifice things to Jack to ensure a good winter anytime soon- ...They're not right? I'm fine with skipping that one if we're good there-- but it got me thinking about that too. What are the other things everyone celebrates here during the year besides that one coming up?

[ He pauses and glances up at Indy then looks back to the camera ] Also if anyone was looking for a blue parrot, Indy found it before and you're probably not getting it back.

Anyone ever tell you guys that you kind of suck at being pirates? I mean, I expected to see way, way more sword fights and ale and stuff. What I got instead was a few cool monsters, but mostly people whining as usual.

Embrace it! Sure, it's inconvenient, but who gets to say that they got to be a flipping pirate for a whole week?

On the plus side, I got to listen to some sea-shanties. Not really my speed, but I think in the right mood I could be tempted to write one myself sometime. Something about daring escapes, krakens and pirate ship battles where people are gutting each other and hacking off limbs. Totally hardcore.

THIS IS MAJORLY FUCKED UP

SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP

WHAT THE FUCK LAU

I MEAN YOU'VE DONE A LOT OF FUCKING CRAZY THINGS BUT LIKE

FUCK

FUCK

I LIKED MEI RIN

LIKE AS A FUCKING PERSON

NOT AS A FUCKING MEAL

FUCK THIS SHIT

FUCK YOU
FUCK
FUCK

FUCK

I LIKE ALL THE FUCKING GIRLS AT YOUR SHOP I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING EAT THEM

THIS IS FUCKED UP

FUCKED UP!!!!!!!!!

See, now that's how you do things right. Crazy people all running around, things exploding, clones or duplicates or whatever. Totally cool. Does this stuff happen a lot? I know that there were some people talking about "events" or whatever, but is it always that algebraic? I can't wait to see what happens next!

( private to Lau )

You were all busy doing crazy island happening things while I, being the completely reasonable one here considering me and island happenings are not close friends in the slightest, avoided it by becoming a hermit. (Pizza making aside. Open late. You should try the breadsticks.)

I got like fifty thneeds done, invented stuff, wrote songs, and I learned about whales. Meenah, I made you an entire album about fish and sea-mammals. Remember I said I'd do that? 'Cause I did it~♪

Did you all know there was a bunch of whale shows on? Probably not! You all missed it. You wouldn't know unless you were partaking in the wonderful benefits of never ever leaving the house this weekend slash all of last week because I might've been doing it prior to the future nonsense for reasons.

It was inspiring. I think I'll do this for every event that may end in my brain getting scrabbled. I'd go full time hermit but business is business and business must grow and growing in a hermit shell seems impractical. And flowers are too pretty.

In other news: I think my roommate situation just got 110% cooler.

[ We interrupt you regularly scheduled time event mindscrew shenanigans to bring you this important message:

A lady with a pretty pink dress and pretty pink hair and pretty pink...everything more or less is standing at a distance from a phone as it is recording the video. She clears her throat, takes a deep breath, and holds out her arms. ]

GREETINGS, PEOPLE OF NEW MOORE!

I AM PRINCESS BONNIBEL BUBBLEGUM, RULER OF THE CANDY KINGDOM OF THE WORLD OF OOO!

Despite the unplanned nature of my arrival, I come to you with the gladdest of tidings and a hand outstretched in peace! As representative of my world and my kingdom, I hope that we can build a relationship mutually beneficial relationship where--!

Oh, dummes kleines stück müll grumble grumble.

[ The video tilts. Bubblegum walks up to it and spends a few seconds reorienting it while grumbling under her breath. She walks back to where she was and re-outstretches her arms. ]

AHEM. Where was--Oh, right. A mutually beneficial relationship where we share knowledge and I forgot the rest! Knowledge and culture and something about growing.

Anywho! Before getting down to business, I would beseech thee to impart upon me more information regarding my presence here! Seriously! I am beseeching like crazy! Like, really, just lay it all on me.

I mean, I do in fact subscribe to the Many Worlds theory and all that jazz, however I frankly find the likelihood of my existence perfectly mirroring that of a piece of fiction in another reality without error and then I appearing in said reality via dubious means is infinitesimally unlikely! I frankly find the whole matter to be total bananas!

[ Pause. ]

Althooough admittedly not impossible. In fact, in hindsight when speaking of the infinite possibilities and opportunities that the infinite number of worlds presents us, everything with a non-zero possibility of occurring has essentially a one hundred percent chance of occurring in at least one iteration of the universe, so I hereby redact my previous statement regarding bananas!

Thank you for lending me your ears or whatever other audial organs you may possess to listen to my greeting! I hope that we and by extent our worlds can learn from one another and grow as both greater people and greater societies! That is my hope as Princess of the Candy Kingdom! Thank you, people of New Moore!

P-Bibbles, out!

[ After, she goes back to her phone while 'doo doo doo-ing', plucks it, and stuffs it into her pocket. She will respond to video, audio, or text. ]