how to be illegally married to your roommate

[accidents]

My dowry doesn't at least have a sickly sheep or something. This is kind of really insulting. Not that I should take it seriously but---I mean. It's like "Here's your heir to the tribe, sir! All you had to do was hand over some frilly underpants and a box of cake powder stuff! -What mead? We're not celebrating with mead. You get this bottle of bubble junk."

There aren't even swords in this basket. Worst wedding ever.

Comments

[badnewsboy]

Congratulations on your Midgardian nuptials! I believe in place of swords they offer flowers, party favors and the choice of chicken or steak. This calls for some sort of post-celebration since you haven't invited us ceremony. Alas!

I'm bringing balloons!

[accidents]

Thanks. I think. Was there even a ceremony?

You never told me what those were.

[freezespirited]

You must have the best weddings.

[accidents]

Yeah they're... something, alright.

[tower_bound]

You got the same thing in the mail that we did!

I thought it was a very sweet gift. Um, not literally, though I guess cake is sweet too.

[Guess who has no idea exactly what marriage entails? It's not a topic Gothel ever would have brought up.]

[accidents]

Depending on the cake, yeah. Definitely. I think you have to bake it though so it's not all that sweet. Yet. Guess I'll be learning how to use the fancy new oven later...

You're taking this marriage thing ridiculously well.

[oftpartitioned]

You gave away underpants or somethin where you're from? No wonder we demolished the vikings.

[accidents]

Demolished? [ NOT COOL MAN ]

We never gave away underpants. That was never a token. I'm saying I got underpants here with this one.

[oftpartitioned]

dude everybody got underpants. It's a pant free for all.

USE BRACKETS ON ME AGAIN. SEE WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS

[oftpartitioned]

Also yes. totally demolished!!!!

pfffttt

[accidents]

That is. Utterly horrifying. Thanks for sharing that fact.

[accidents]

The part about my people being totally demolished.
Not the underpants part.

That parts just. I don't even know.

[oftpartitioned]

dude whatever! i meannnn you pic a fight with the slavs.... you gonna lose. That's how we play. sorry!

[accidents]

I'm not sure how accurate that statement is but it's nice to see you be so sincerely apologetic about such a tragic event.

[freezespirited]

Wouldn't the sword cut through the basket though? When else do you get a sword?

[oftpartitioned]

Oh cmon, it wasn't me. We kicked you guys butts sometimes, but you guys got super into christiandom and junk like everybody else and cooled it on the whole viking thing.

I dunno even know when it happened, you guys just got more normal.

[accidents]

You wrap it or put it in a scabbard. You're supposed to exchange swords before the rings. 'When else'? If you're asking if there's other occasions with swords being given out that'd be initiations, pre-battle depending on who's going in, post-battle depending on how victorious it was, or because you asked the blacksmith for a sword then you get a sword.

[freezespirited]

How romantic. So you just ask for a sword and they give you one?

[accidents]

That's significantly less horrible than you were making it sound. Okay, so we just faded out after cultures melded together. Kind of depressing but far less depressing than thinking someone slaughtered everybody.

You could've just said that.

[accidents]

It's more romantic than I'm making it sound. No. You got to pay for the sword somehow if you're just asking for one.

[oftpartitioned]

We still demolished you guys sometimes tho.

[accidents]

Uh-huh. Sure.

[oftpartitioned]

we did!!!

[swordhappy]

Well had you said something, boy, the gods might have taken it upon themselves to provide.

[accidents]

If I had a couple of days in advance to actually have some kind of formality to it, I would've invited you all to the festivities.

At least they remembered to do it on Frigg's Day.