thoughtformed | (no subject)

Cn i com b with yu?

I would be honoured.

I'm sorry, Aisling.

Its not yur falt. Not his too. Its this place.

I know. Doesn't make me hate it any less.

Your reading is coming along nicely. you should be proud of yourself.

I hate it too. Be ther sooon.

---

[She made her entrance more quietly than usual, slipping down the stairs and coming to find him at something less than her normal breakneck speed. Sober, and looking a little worn around the edges, she holds up her arms like any young girl silently asking for a hug from her father.]

[ Jack is sitting in his living quarters on the bed, playing with a small black ring. He looks up when he hears Aisling enter, and without a word, lifts her up into his lap and holds her tight to him. ]

I'm sorry, Aisling.

[Her arms wind around his neck and she buries her face in his shoulder. Words aren't of much help right now. To either of them, she suspects. But being here. Assuring herself that she still had one of her fathers whom she cherished, and who loved her in return. Maybe that would be enough. It would have to be, for now.

After a long moment, she sighs and lifts her face to press a gentle kiss to his cheek, rearranging herself so that he could go back to playing with Ianto's ring if he wanted to.]

I'm sorry too. ...What will we do now? Wait? He came back. He could do it again.

[ Jack tries for a smile at her kiss, but it fades quickly and he sighs. He lifts Ianto's ring again, having been unable to keep himself from fidgeting with it for the last couple of weeks. ]

I'm.. I'm not sure I want him to, Aisling. I mean... I love him, and i'd like to have him back but... I don't think I can take it. Not again. Just... maybe hope that when he went back home, things were better for him there.

[ They wouldn't be, but Jack couldn't tell her that. That he would be dead and that he couldn't have stopped it. ]

Edited 2014-02-10 06:36 (UTC)

[Something in his voice makes her take a long look at him, but she doesn't question it. Instead she watches the ring in his fingers - how the light catches and slides along the curve.]

...Maybe.

[She falls silent for a moment before asking quietly:]

May I stay with you tonight?

[ Jack's eyes lift to Aisling when she speaks. ]

If you want to, sure. I'd like the company, if I'm being honest.

[ He smiles softly at her and tucks her hair behind her ear and bends down to kiss the top of her head. ]

I can make room here or if you want to, I can get things set up in the greenhouse. Wherever you feel most comfortable.

[She presses gently up into the kiss like a cat seeking attention, needing the reassurances that she hadn't had the peace of mind to ask for last time.]

In here. ....Please. I want to be with you. I can take another shape if you want me to.

[It's strange, to be this uncertain of him, but she doesn't want to give him cause to push her away.]

No... No, it's fine. You don't need to change a thing. I don't mind at all. I like you no matter what form you take.

[ His smile warms a bit to her. He doesn't want to worry her by any means, and for her, he definitely doesn't want to seem too vulnerable. He needs to be strong for her, because that's what fathers do for their little girls. ]

[She'd like to curl up beside him, when he tries to rest, keep contact somehow, but something else occurs to her. Last time... Last time he sought out another's comfort.]

Will you go find another? If the Doctor won't come to be with you like that, will you take comfort in someone else?

[She isn't accusing. Just curious. Humans are strangely private about those sorts of things now, so she needs to know if she should be elsewhere, if he was going to bring someone home.]

[ His smile fades some, but he slowly just shakes his head. ]

Not for some time, I think. The heart is a muscle, you know. And like every muscle, when you hurt it, you need to give it time to let it heal. I don't think I'll be able to find someone else for a while, Aisling.

[ He pulls her into a hug. ]

I think as long as you love me, I'll be just fine.

[She burrows into him, nuzzling his shoulder with a sigh. Tired. They're both tired. Tired of hurting, tired of losing people they love. But at least for now, they have one another. It will be enough.]

Silly. I'll always love you. You shouldn't doubt it. But promise me you won't spend all your time in here? You'll come outside soon, right? Even just into the city?

[Eleven's eyes are old, sad and understanding.] Jack... I'm so sorry.

I'm coming over, unless you tell me not to.

Edited 2014-02-10 06:56 (UTC)

[ For once, Jack is looking his age. He just looks tired. ]

I dunno. It's embarrassing to have you see me like this. But... the company would be nice.

Come now, Jack. We've both seen the very worst and the very best in each other before. You have no cause to be embarrassed - especially not now.

[There's movement in the background of the video as he heads out - on foot, instead of the TARDIS, for once.]

No.. No, you haven't seen me at my worst. I pray you won't have to.

[ He sighs and nods. ]

All right. You can come on over if you want. I've got some bourbon I'm going to try to get drunk with. You're welcome to it if you like.

[There's a long pause, where Eleven stares straight ahead, not looking at the camera.] ...no. I suppose you haven't seen me at my worst either. Even so...

Well, I'll be there soon.

*****

[Not long after, The Doctor makes his way past the 'employees only' sign in the New Brew and back into the warehouse. When he finds Jack, he pauses for a second, an inscrutable look on his face. Then, without another word, he surges forward and draws Jack into a long, close embrace - while a tear or two leaks down onto Jack's cheek from his.

Words are useless here, so for the moment, Eleven doesn't even try to use them. He just holds Jack tight, not letting go.]

[ Jack is sat back in the living quarters, playing with Ianto's ring when The Doctor comes through. Likewise, Jack reaches around and hugs him tightly, , burying his face into his shoulder. ]

Why did I let him go, Doctor..? I always feel... I feel like I should have been able to do something

[Eleven cradles Jack's head, automatically rocking him back and forth gently. His voice is old, and sad.] It always feels that way. That will never change, Jack. But sometimes things are beyond our control, no matter how hard we try or how much we care.

I know... that it's hard. It's the hardest thing there is. But we can't give up, or stop trying. For their sakes.

For his sake.

[ Jack sighs and nods, just... enjoying having someone near. ]

I know. I've done this many times before, Doctor. I know how to lose people. I just... You'd think it'd get easier after a while, you know?

I'll keep everything running smoothly this week. Take your time, Jack.

You always do. thank you, Tim.

One stranger to another
sorry to hear that, mate.
I lost my wife too.
There isn't enough firewhiskey in this place.

I'm sorry to hear that. My condolences for your loss. Is there anything that I can do or offer you?

I wouldn't ask when you're clearly suffering a loss yourself.
If you don't mind a stranger as a drinking companion, I need to either get very drunk or blow something up.
I feel like the former is less likely to get me arrested.
I'm James, by the way. James Potter.

I'm sorry this happened again. If you need anything let me know.

Thank you. And likewise for your particular ventures. A distraction would be pretty nice.

If you want to go on rounds with me tonight I wouldn't mind the company. Still trying to get use to the city by foot again.

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