thoughtformed | #01 [ audio ]

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#01 [ audio ]

What the hell is this? Was I captured by HYDRA again or something? That’s really not something I’d like to turn into a habit. This is Sgt. James Barnes, does anybody read me?

Steve? Steve, are you out there? Can you hear me at all? Dugan, Falsworth, anybody? Last I remember was falling from that train… Zola didn’t do anything to you guys either, did he?

Hell. I don’t like this. I can’t be sittin’ around here while there’s a war going on. How do I get outta this place? Is there a boat or a plane I could hitch a ride on? I kinda need to get back home. Got some… unfinished business.

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[ Bucky is more than relieved to hear that familiar voice. ] Steve! Thank God you're okay. You guys caught that bastard Zola, right?

How'd we even end up here? What's with this whole 'character' spiel, by the way? These guys not get that you were actin' in movies or something?

[ Bucky can probably hear the wince in his voice, and Steve pauses, gripping the phone a little tighter. ] Yeah, we got 'em. I dunno about being fictional, a lot of people here don't believe it. Bucky.. it's.. the war is over.

[ Yeah, Bucky picks up on that. You don't hang around a kid for most of your life and not know when he's upset. ] Hey, Steve, everything okay? What happened out there? Are you hurt? Did they do something to you?

[ And then there's a bit of a pause after Steve's last sentence. ] Really? You're not messing with me? What, did Schmidt just give up?

I--[ A deep breath. ] Bucky, where are you? I need to see you.

[ Damn, this sounds serious. Bucky clenches his jaw tightly. ] I'm, ah, still near the hospital. Least I think it's a hospital. I'll just wait here, okay? You're worryin' be a bit here, Steve.

[ He doesn't answer. He's too busy heading (running at full speed) to the hospital, and he arrives a few minutes later. He's panting, but not because of the run -- it's because of nerves, and he slows down as he sees Bucky, coming to a stop.

It's in his stance and his body shape, the way he holds himself, and Steve knows. He knows it's him, knows he's there and he lunges forward, closing the distance between them and grabs Bucky into a hug.

He's real. He's real and solid, and this isn't a dream, this isn't like all those dreams he's had, and Steve can't stop himself. He cries, gripping at Bucky, like if he lets him go, he really will vanish. ]

[ Bucky looks up when he hears footsteps and instantly smiles a bit. For some reason it felt like he hadn't seen Steve in a long time, even though he'd appeared here after falling...

Yeah, he wasn't really ready to think about falling off that train yet. He remembered the look on Steve's face as he reached for him. ]

Steve. [ He says it softly a Steve approaches, but then his friend launches himself at him in a hug. Bucky blinks, almost confused, until he heards Steve cry and grip him tigther. ]

Whoa hey, sssh. [ Bucky wraps his arms around him and holds him softly, feeling like they were kids again. He speaks softly, in a voice he hasn't had to use in a long while. ] It's okay, little guy, it's okay. I'm here, everything's fine.

[ His voice is hoarse as he responds, trying to catch his breath and stop crying. He succeeds only faintly, blinking rapidly to dispel the tears. ] I'm sorry, Bucky. I'm so sorry.

[ It comes out in a rasp, raw and filled with the guilt he carried inside. It was kind of strange -- his shoulders seemed even heavier now, his body tired when it shouldn't be. It was like all of it was hitting him at once, and he'd never really realized just how much sorrow and sadness and guilt he felt for the loss of his best friend.

Until now. ]

[ Bucky runs a hand up to ruffle his hair and tuts softly. ] Hey, don't be sorry. You don't have anything to be sorry about.

[ The look on Steve's face as he reached for him on that train is still burned in his mind, but he knows. Knows that Steve tried his best and there was nothing either of them could have done. ] I knew what I was getting into when I got on the train with you, okay? It was all HYDRA, not you.

[ He gives him a squeeze. ] It's not your fault, Steve.

I couldn't save you. [ Funnily enough, Bucky's forgiveness just make it worse. It's the last thing Steve feels he deserves, the one thing he thought he would never get because he thought he would never see Bucky again.

He's not really sure how to handle it. ] It's entirely my fault.

Steve. [ He says in firmly, in his 'you better listen to me steve you punk' voice. ] It's not. If you say that again I'll sock you one, okay? I told you I'd follow you to hell and I knew exactly what that meant when I promised it.

[ Bucky gives him another squeeze. ] We're both here, alive, so it's in the past. It doesn't matter anymore, okay?

[ He frowns slightly, and pulls away, finally deciding to risk this all being some sort of heinous nightmare.

It's not like it hasn't happened before.

But he releases the breath he didn't realize he was holding when Bucky doesn't vanish, and he at least stays within arms reach.

It isn't okay. It won't ever be okay, but Steve nods anyway, because the more he thinks about it, the more that weight presses on his chest. ] Yeah. Okay.

[ Bucky smiles slightly at him when he pulls away. He pats Steve on the cheek lightly then ruffles his hair again. The last thing Bucky ever wanted was for Steve to feel guilty for anything, but he supposed that's just how the guy was. Despite that, he couldn't deny that his heart had ached to see him so upset. ]

So, any idea what this place really is? Think it's some HYDRA scheme? Was that train going here or something?

[ Good. Get his mind off the guilt, thinking about something else.

Steve shakes his head, shoving his hands into his pockets and glancing around. ] Doubtful. Hydra's long gone. [ Well, supposedly. But he doesn't want to think about that, either. ] Bucky.. that's the other thing. It's.. nearly 70 years in the future.

[ Bucky crosses his arms, glad Steve's talking like normal now. He listens until... ]

Wait. What? [ Bucky blinks a few times and stares at his friend like he's just grown ten extra heads. ] The future. The future? Are you tryin' to joke with me here?

[ Steve nods, scrunching his face up a little. He's trying to think best how to explain it, and he licks his lips slightly, glancing up to the sky and then back to Bucky. ] The future. Well, it's not the 'future' anymore, it's the 'present'. I'm not joking. It's 2012. [ He swallows thickly, reaching up to scratch at his forehead. ] We uh. We won.

[ Bucky just feels kind of dizzy trying to understand what Steve's getting at. ] W-Wh. What? So when we came here we also went into the future? How come those quacks told you and not me about this? Why should we even believe them? [ Okay yeah he's babbling a bit but, seriously, what? Was Steve drunk? ]

You came into the future. I uh.. sort of slept through it. [ He coughs a little bit, and scratches the back of his head. ]

Are we having two different conversations here or something? Make some goddamn sense, Steve. [ Bucky huffs and tightens his jaw a bit. ]

No. [ this is really hard for him okay ] After you... fell. We decided to finally take down HYDRA once and for all. I ended up on a plane with Schmidt, which was loaded with bombs to take out various cities. I disarmed all but one of them -- the one headed for New York. [ He falters a little bit, glancing away. ] There wasn't time to try and land the plane. I had to put it down then. I.. crashed. Into the arctic. And I woke up seventy years later.

[ Bucky just stares at him as he explains. There... was no way, right? Steve was just pulling his leg.

Except he knows Steve, he knows how he sounds when he's serious. And what his friend says takes the wind out of him. ]

So you... you had to do all of that without me?

[ Steve shakes his head just slightly, and puts a hand on his own chest. ] You were here.

[ Bucky's throat closes tight and he ducks his head, teeth clenched til they ached. He didn't want to believe this, any of it, but Steve wasn't a liar.

Now that he thinks about it, Steve does seem a bit... different. A little worn around the edges, something slightly older in his eyes. ]

Hell, that's not fair at all. [ He chokes it out and runs a hand through his hair. ] I was supposed to be there with you. Protect you forever. I should have been on that plane with you...

[ Steve just plain looks tired. He went so long with being able to out run it all, but with Bucky's arrival.. he can't out run it anymore. ] No. You woulda died. They think... it was the serum that allowed me to survive. I couldn't.. I couldn't stand it, knowing I got to survive and you... [ Froze to death. Fell off a train. Any way Steve looks at it, Bucky follows him, Bucky dies.

It makes him sick. ] You don't have to follow me, anymore.

[ Bucky shakes his head. If he had to die, he'd rather it be with Steve. On that train, or on a crashing plane... hell, if none of this had happened they'd probably be senile old men together in some nursing home right about now. Either way? He'd die with, or for, Steve. That was just his life and he was okay with that. Steve was worth it, that little guy from Brooklyn was more than worth it. ]

It ain't following when we're going the same direction anyway. [ He says it a bit hoarsely, his throat still tight. ] Didn't I make it clear when we were kids? You're stuck with me, Rogers.

[ Dying is dying, no matter what you're doing. He's already gotten you killed once, Bucky, he doesn't want it to happen again. And with the way things are on this island.. Steve takes a deep breath, and looks at him -- really looks at him.

His best friend -- the only brother he's ever had, really, the one person he trusted the most in his youth and adulthood, the one person Steve trusts the most at his back and at his side. The thing about being the person who dies? Is that you don't have to be the one left behind. It's always harder on the ones left behind. Dying is the easy part.

There's no getting Bucky to back down, though. Steve knows this, has experienced it multiple times, and despite being frustrated with it, he's also.. glad for it. The normality of it. He isn't happy or pleased, not by a long shot, but he does give in, nodding slightly as he glances away. ] I told you were taking all the stupid with you.

Yup. [ He smiles a bit and reaches up to pat him on the shoulder. Bucky knew that he was meant to be there for Steve, to protect him, do the dirty work, all the little things that even as Captain America he couldn't do. And despite being the younger of the two, he had to be Steve's big brother. ]

I don't plan on dyin' anytime soon though. Even if I'm 'meant' to, okay? But I know that won't stop you from frettin' like you always do, kiddo. Just don't give yourself a super soldier sized ulcer.

[ He pouts a little, thinking, and he looks up at Bucky, slightly confused. ] I don't think I can get ulcers.

[ Bucky stares at him for a moment before letting out a rather obnoxious sounding guffaw. Oh... oh Steve. ] Didn't mean it literally. But with how you are, it wouldn't surprise me if you managed to give yourself one.

Anyway. [ He wipes at his eyes with the back of his sleeve. Time to change the subject before it gets all emotional again. ] What do you do in the future?

Edited 2012-05-24 20:41 (UTC)

[ Good plan. He's aware of what Bucky's doing, and he's not going to argue it. They don't need to say anything else. They know.

At his question, Steve grins a little, somewhat sheepish. ] Well.. I'm part of this group called the Avengers. We sort of... make sure that nothing bad happens to the world. The SSR became SHIELD, and when they found me, I joined.

The Avengers? That's a name. [ He smiles though, of course Steve would still be doing what he he was before. Bucky feels that ever familiar little swell of pride, oh Steve. ] Are there more of you super soldier types in the future then?

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#01 [ audio ]

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