thoughtformed | [Transcript]

What you need to understand about history to make it not boring is simple. History's not about the past. It's about right now, and sometimes, about three weeks from Tuesday and the end of the world. In my class, we're not going to bother with a bunch of rubbish about dates. We're going to talk about consequences. Big scary word, consequences. But it doesn't have to be!

For example: I took this teaching position for a big jumble of reasons. Some of them have to do with the past, but at least one of them has to do with the future. When my time machine was working, I popped in a few months from now and saw myself in this classroom. So I guess I'd better be here! Consequences. They get all muddled up, cause and effect and effect and cause, but that's all right. Sometimes the dinosaurs become extinct because a very brave boy had to crash a ship to save the earth from destruction by evil cyborgs. Sometimes, the ancient prehistoric reptilian species that used to run this planet wakes up and pokes its head out on the surface. We can hardly call those things boring, can we? Explosions and lizards, everybody likes those.

So! By now you're probably wondering what the point is. What exactly it is that we are going to be studying, if we're leaving dates behind. The point is, history matters. Your history made you who you are today, and it also makes tomorrow... and sometimes, tomorrow makes yesterday as well, and by knowing about yesterday you can learn about the future.

That's true even if we leave out the time travel bits. And that's what we're going to be studying. Big events, big choices, big changes. Nothing boring, born this year died this year had six kids and three wives -- we might mention that but it's not what you'll be tested on. You'll be tested on your understanding of how all these crazy parties and silly battles and fantastic, brilliant discoveries made people sit up and pay attention and do things differently in their lives, like you there in row four. Don't think I don't see you. How will your history of not paying attention in class help your grades? That's going to matter, later on, when I give my honors students first crack at the candy jar. There's enough sweets for everyone, mind, but highest grades pick first.

I should also mention, for my nonhuman students in the class, and those of you from very different worlds -- your history matters too! I've got a whole unit prepared on the history of Alternia, and in your homework essays you'll always be permitted to cite and compare your home planet's history, and share it with the rest of the class. Who you are matters. Where you come from matters.

All right, let's open those books. Skip chapter one, chapter one is nonsense, you won't ever be required to know anything from that chapter at any point, ever. Chapter two. Dinosaurs. I want you to get out your pens and pencils, too, because this chapter is missing some good bits and in all fairness we should add them in the margins as they go.

I'd bet that your other previous teachers have skipped a lot of very important lessons about the Silurians...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I wish my history classes had been as interesting as yours looks.

i doctor i have a question
is my computer stay stupid like this
drive to elizabeth???

No, if this keeps going you can use a notebook and do things the old fashioned way! Sort of a history class project.

Suppose you could even write with a stele on a clay tablet, although I don't recommend it. Cuneiform lends it self to all kinds of bad handwriting habits.

Edited 2012-09-12 05:27 (UTC)