[Video] Because Fuck Text (Language advisory)

[whitejediknight]

[Creedy is sitting on a hospital bed. staring at the phone in his hands. Give him a few minutes. Tutorial aside it's been a long long time since he's seen one of these and even when he had seen them he never really had much use for them.]

It has been a long time since I saw one of these. Cell phones. How do you keep the towers from burning down? How is any of this still standing? 

Sorry. Questions. It's just this is not exactly what I was expecting the afterlife to look like. It sure isn't hell.  I've seen close to that. Wouldn' call it quite Heaven either.

Who would 'ave thought purgatory would 'ave beaches?

Still more believable than any thing else I've heard here. I'm holdin' judgement til I get alcohol. Do they have alcohol in the 'real' world? 

Look. I appreciate the lies, but the truth of the matter is I'm dead. I know I am. I can still-

[He stops and shakes his head before offering a smile to the camera.]

Who wants to show a ghost to a pub? You've got whole bloody buildings here. One of them has to 'ave alcohol in it.