backdated to the first morning of the event

[badtaste]

Katie, babe? You have any idea why I woke up in a ballpit instead of a bed?

Comments

[hawkingbird]

Ugh. The same reason Lucy was confused when I freaked out about not setting an alarm for work. It looks like the island is playing tricks on our ages again.

We might not even be from the same time. How long has it been for you since we started dating?

[badtaste]

You know she hates me, right?

We've been together for 8 months, 14 days. So if that was a test to see if I remembered our anniversary, I just nailed it.

[hawkingbird]

Oh my god, I told you to stop it with that. She's just ... standoffish. She likes you just fine.

... You did. Jeez, hon, you gotta stop being so great. You're gonna make me believe you really are fictional. It looks like we're from the same time. That's how I remember it too.

I'm kind of afraid to find out what time it really is, but um. I've got an idea based on the photos on my mirror.

[badtaste]

I'm just saying, if I'd woken up where I was supposed to, I would've gone out to get my own carton of eggs to make you breakfast this time instead of using hers, because that's apparently a crime worse than anything she ever did.

...I'm guessing it's not me in the photos, huh. So who is it? Tommy? That alien guy? Tim? Don't keep me guessing.

[hawkingbird]

Can we not talk about the Egg Incident again? Seriously, you both need to move on, because neither of you are leaving my life any time soon.

And... yeah. It's not. It's um. In between. It's Rose. I should text her. Shit. I haven't aged up in so long, I forgot what the etiquette is.

[badtaste]

Ah. Rose. No wonder I woke up in a ballpit, we're still in high school. I must've been assigned there like three times alone freshman year. Sure, text your ex. Have a nice chat.

My official position on the Egg Incident is that I will move on when she stops giving me dirty looks every time I kiss you. I think she's a heterophobe. But okay. No more egg talk.

[hawkingbird]

Don't be like that!

And, uh. You're probably right on that last one...

[badtaste]

I was kidding about the heterophobe thing.

Don't be like what?

[badtaste]

Wait, one more egg talk. I would have made you some bombass French toast this morning.

Now I will never mention eggs again.

[hawkingbird]

Okay, well now I'm just hungry and lonely.

[badtaste]

I could fix that.