Missing items of value, potential rewards available

[highlyinformed]

The following items are still missing from my shop, presumed stolen during a previous incident.

Four poster bed, king
Six (6) Antique Gortham Versailles Sterling Gumbo spoon set
Philco PT-44 All American Five radio set
Three (3) Braeburn apples
Drill press
Kazak rug, hand knotted, wool (12x15)
Satchel, yellow, with mouth
Bath salts, blue
A porceline figure of a Regency era couple dancing (damaged)
Bronze dodecahedra
Shovel
Leg warmers, pair, gray
Boomed box and stereo set
Fourteen (14) packs of white chalk
Hyperdermic needles, eight (8) boxes
La Madrastra; The Complete Series (Blu-Ray)
Cement stone
Hymenophyllaceae fern

If you have any information about my missing personal effects, please do not contact the local police department. Although local law enforcement has been informed of the robbery, we are more than happy to deal with helpful community members directly.

Comments

[geminated_man]

Who the fuck steals a whole bed, man? And of all the things you've got there, why chalk?

[highlyinformed]

It was an egregious amount of chalk.

[amberalert]

They probably ate your apples.

[highlyinformed]

You think? Even when..

[highlyinformed]

I shouldn't say.

[amberalert]

Even so. They probably ate them.

[tookthename]

I'll make sure everyone on patrol knows about these items. Do you have any idea who might have taken them?

[highlyinformed]

Thieves, I'm certain.

[reanimated]

Bath salts?

[highlyinformed]

It would seem.