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[icesolation]

It's all so quiet lately. Is everyone all right? I can come visit if you need me.

Comments

[sunflowersister]

I suppose everyone must be recovering from the embarrassment...

How was your Midsummer, dear?

[icesolation]

I suppose I should . . . speak to them about that.

Quiet, really. I never thought it could feel so empty.

[sunflowersister]

Oh dear, I'm so sorry. Normally I invite everyone down to the beach for a bonfire and some food, but since almost everyone who usually celebrates with me is gone, I didn't bother this time... Now I wish I had!

[icesolation]

It sounds nice.

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

Ah, my apologies. I know I haven't been around much, recently. [He's not sure if she knows about the attempted suicide - if not, he figures it's probably best not to mention it, as it would only make her worry.]

[icesolation]

It's not your fault. I was just worried.

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

[Definitely best not to mention it.] ...How have you been, recently?

[icesolation]

All right, aside from suddenly being married for a while.

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

Ah, that was a little strange, wasn't it? I was so distraught at the time, I thought my parents were getting divorced...

[icesolation]

It wasn't so bad, though I should apologize to the people forced into it.

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

It's not your fault people were forced into it. I am glad you had a better time with it than I did, though.

Even with them getting divorced, I suppose... it was nice to feel like part of a family again.

[icesolation]

I don't think I was ready to be anyone's mother though.

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

I'm sure you managed just fine.

[icesolation]

I highly doubt that.

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

I suppose it's difficult to say for sure at this point, one way or the other.

[icesolation]

I'm not interested in having a family until I can take care of my own.

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

Of course. I share the sentiment, I suppose. I'm certainly not fit to be a father.

[icesolation]

Oh, I don't know. You're sensible enough to pull it off.

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

Sensibility isn't the only requirement, I'm sure.

[icesolation]

No. It isn't.

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

Well, there are a couple other areas in which I very much doubt I'm adequate. Not for a while, anyway - I need to figure out my own life before I can look after someone else's.

[icesolation]

What do you mean?

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

I...

Until very recently, I was living my life for someone else. Then they left, and I didn't know how... to go on. To live my life for myself. I didn't know what my purpose was.

I still don't.

[icesolation]

That's a strange train of thought. What's wrong with just living? It doesn't have to be for anyone's sake.

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

Nothing, I suppose. It's just something I've never done before.

[icesolation]

Maybe. I think it's something you do, whether you realize it or not.

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

[He disagrees, but he isn't looking for an argument - and she doesn't know what he tried to do when he lost Haruhi.] ...You're probably right.

[icesolation]

Most likely.