ΘΣ [Audio feed]

[allons_y_alonso]

[The voice you hear is dry, but made a little bit squeaky at the moment by apparent panic.  Rising and falling chirps and bursts of noise begin every time he pauses for breath between sentences.]

What? 

No, sorry, this wasn't supposed to happen, you'll all just have to... go away again.  Or I will.  One or the other.

No, this thing was definitely not supposed to do this.

[the panic gives way to a sort of resigned nervousness.]

I didn't unlock the Time Vortex, did I?

Comments

[neverstops]

Theta? Is that you?

What did you do this time and where are we? I swear, if you pull the Universe apart-

[Audio]

[allons_y_alonso]

[In the voice of someone yelling at an inanimate object, interrupted in mid-stream]

NEUTRON, NOT ARTRON! No, you reverse the --

{In a totally different voice.]

Oh, hello, Kosh! No, I'm fairly certain I didn't -- that it wasn't --

It isn't working properly yet, so really, it can't possibly have been my fault. I was just trying to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow of the laundry cognitizer.

[quixotical]

Time vortex? What is that?

[Audio]

[neverstops]

Thete.

[There's a sigh from the other half of the audio, and it's easy to tell he's rolling his eyes.]

You are going to be the end of the universe, one of these days. Just tell me where you are. Two minds are better than one, and if you're going to rip the time vortex open, you could at least invite your best friend to watch.

[turnedleft]

What?

[chronosexual]

Time Vortex?


...Doctor? is that you?

[voice]

[stillwaiting]

[quiet giggling - somebody is finding your distress extremely entertaining! or your squeaky, hysterical voice - one or the other.]

Re: [Audio]

[allons_y_alonso]

Right. I'm in a sort of... room... residential, by the look of it... there's a lot of foreign writing everywhere... and an old type 40 capsule with a broken chameleon circuit in the closet.

[allons_y_alonso]

Oh, well the Time Vortex is a sort of...

Hang on, are you Gallifreyan?

[allons_y_alonso]

Time Vortex!

No, I'm not a Doctor of anything. Studying for mine, though.

Again.

Anyway, did you know that there's something dreadfully wrong with the matrices of your artron flow?

[allons_y_alonso]

What?!

[voice]

[allons_y_alonso]

... Hello?

[turnedleft]

What is on your head?

[allons_y_alonso]

What? This? Oh, just a project of mine.

[turnedleft]

Yeah? What sort?

[chronosexual]

Hm. interesting.

My atron flow? Yeah. I'm aware. It's a bit complicated. What do you think about it? I'm not scaring you, am I?

[allons_y_alonso]

Well, it's a little technical, really. It's an audio waveform trasducer shield I built out of an old N-Form prototype.

It doesn't work, though.

[turnedleft]

Course it is. Shame it doesn't work.

Hello, I'm Donna. Donna Noble.

[allons_y_alonso]

Hello, Donna Donna Noble!

Can you tell me what planet I'm on?

[allons_y_alonso]

What? Scared? No, not at all.

I'm just sort of... goosebumps, all over, and a little bit of a feeling like I might lose my lunch.

[voice]

[stillwaiting]

[The laughter immediately stops, as though she's been caught out doing something she shouldn't.]

..... What are you doing?

Re: [voice]

[allons_y_alonso]

Well, I was trying to suspend the regulator function on the laundry cognitizer.

Now I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing.

Did. What I did.

[turnedleft]

Just the one Donna, thanks. And no, still not sure about the planet. Bit like Ibiza. I mean Ibiza, Spain not the planet Ibiza, if there is an Ibiza planet. Ooh, wouldn't that be grand! Whole planet of a island getaway.

Look at your little face! This is brilliant.

[allons_y_alonso]

Brilliant?! You really think so?

[turnedleft]

Oh, come on. Time fluxes, everybody operating on different wavelengths of their own histories? Bit brilliant.