thoughtformed | 001. [Video]

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001. [Video]

[ The man who appears on screen looks confused, panicked, and more than just a little lost. He is dressed well, but his state of panic has glossed his brow and disheveled his hair a bit. ]
Tzuh muh luh?

Can anyone help me? I... seem to have lost my crew and my little sister.

Mei mei? If you're out there, can you hear me?

Jen dao mei.

[ He clears his throat and tries to regain his usually considerable composure. ]

If anyone has seen a transport ship, kind of a run-down, beat up little thing, please let me know. My sister is sick and I need to get back to her.

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Yeah. It don't make no sense, I know.

I think I recognize the area you're in, so sit tight, alright? I'll come to you.

If you say so...

Are you absolutely certain that you're okay?

Not really. But I gotta tell you about it anyway.

Simon sits impatiently outside the rather busy travel agency, doing little more than sitting with a straight back and watching the unfamiliar people walk out of the building, unsure of what their future holds.

He sighs and leans back against the bench he is sat upon and stares up at the sky so blue and unfamiliar. He waits for Kaylee, tapping his fingers against his knee to the rhythm of "Ode To Joy" as he sits and waits.

Six months Kaylee's been here? It hardly seemed possible, but she was always honest and forthcoming with him, so he had little reason to not believe her.

Kaylee lingered about her apartment for a while, not sure whether she should run to meet Simon or take her time and consider what to say to him along the way. Putting a paper bag over her head in shame seemed like an appropriate choice, too. She decided to just walk at a normal pace, not wanting to wait any longer, and composed herself, wanting to meet this with as clear a head as she could.

She had finally accepted the fact that she might never see Simon again, had finally begun to let him go and let herself explore other possibilities... and there he was again. Kaylee had, in some sense, fooled around on him, and she knew she was going to have to own up to that- because there was no way she could live with being anything less than honest.

When she spotted Simon sitting outside the travel agency, she gave him a small smile and then threw her arms around him in a tight hug.

Simon looked up when he caught Kaylee approaching him out of the corner of his eye, and he felt a wave or relief wash over him. It was always so nice to see a familiar face after being abandoned on an unfamiliar world. It meant that he wasn't alone and that there'd always be a way to get back to the ship. He rose to his feet and was just about to greet her when she wrapped her arms around him, an action that stopped his words dead in his throat. A bit more awkwardly, he hugged her back in turn and pat her back.

"I'm... glad to see you too, Kaylee." He pulls back and looks at her, his hands upon her shoulders. "You look... different." He pauses and then jumps in to correct himself. "It-it's a good different. It's good." He smiled a little and nodded. "What are you doing here?

Kaylee gave a shaky little laugh, too relieved at seeing him to get even a little irked. And it was the truth, after all, she realized- she WAS different.

"I'm glad to see you, too," she whispered, feeling herself tremble a little at his touch- with nerves or with emotion, she couldn't tell. Perhaps it was a little bit of both. She then looked down. "God, I don't even know where to begin. It's been so long since I seen you or any of the crew, and..." She swallowed. "A lot can happen in six months."

Simon's face fell, his smile disappearing in a flash. Something was wrong here, he could tell. "Kaylee?" He asked, leaning in to try and make eye contact. "What's the matter?

There was something... off about her. He couldn't quite work out what it was, but he could sense that it was there, and it would remain sticking out like a loose thread begging to be pulled. "You... haven't seen anyone else here, have you?"

Well, that was one way to get to the point. Kaylee felt her eyes beginning to water, but she forced herself to not start crying again.

"Let's walk and talk," she suggested quietly. "And let me start from the beginning, that's usually the best place. If we wanna go right for the truth, you've... been here before. Here. In New Moore. Obviously you don't remember it, but you was here when I got here six months ago."

"Um.. all right." Simon did nothing to hide the look of confusion he was wearing and followed along beside her. She was acting strangely, he thought. No more stranger, however, than what she had said.

"I what?" He looked around at the ancient, unfamiliar buildings, not recognizing any of them. "Kaylee, are you sure that you're all right? I mean... I'm pretty sure that I would remember being in a place like this."

"I'm sure I'm fine," Kaylee said firmly. "I know it's hard to swallow, but it's the truth. And it's been known to happen to other people, too. Believe me, I couldn't make this up." She then looked away, tugging a stray thread on her jumpsuit.

"You were here for about... three months, then you disappeared. And afore you go apologizin' for it, like I know you're gonna, it ain't anybody's fault." She made herself face him. "While you were here, we... well. Dated. In secret."

She waited to gauge his reaction to this before going any further.

None of this made any sense to Simon, and while she spoke, his expression grew more and more puzzled as he tried to sort it out. He knew for a fact that he'd never been here, and he certainly didn't remember leaving the ship. Something was very, very wrong.

Wait, what was that about secret dating? "We... We what?" Instead of confused, he mostly just looked surprised. "You and me?"

"... Yeah." Kaylee nodded, her heart sinking a little. So he apparently didn't remember that, back in their world, they HAD become an official couple.

On the one hand, that did hurt. On the other hand, that might make what had to come next a little easier to swallow.

"After you disappeared from here, I... I felt alone. It took me a while to admit that, but without you, an' without my ship and the rest of the crew... it was lonely. I made friends, but it weren't 'til a few weeks ago when it got to me." She swallowed. "I got kidnapped and... well, never mind what happened then. When I got rescued, I realized that all I had to come back to was my empty bedroom and... and my cat."

Her eyes were welling yet again, but she didn't bother to stop this time.

"...Goddamnit."

Edited 2012-06-10 19:38 (UTC)

Simon was unsure about how to react to any of this. He felt awkward and uncomfortable with her pouring her heart out for him like this... How was he supposed to react to it? She did mean a great deal to him, and he was honored that she was giving him this courtesy of letting him know what had happened outside a relationship that he didn't know he was having... Oh no. She was crying.

"Kaylee... Kaylee, look at me, okay?" He said, lifting up her chin. "Don't cry. Okay? Look, I'm here. And... something very strange is going on, but you don't need to cry. Come here." He then closed the distance between them, giving her one of his tight, protective hugs usually reserved for River.

She leaned into that hug, closing her eyes, relishing it. She was quite sure that it would be the last one she'd ever have from him, once he found out... She took a big, shaky breath, then looked up at him.

"Look. The truth... the truth is after you left, I slept with one guy and got set up on a date with someone else and I was thinking of seeing him again and if you hate me and don't wanna speak to me again now since that kinda sorta means I been foolin' around on ya I totally understand," she said in a rush, then buried her face in his shoulder.

Simon frowned, not sure what it was he should have been feeling. A little betrayed, perhaps, but how could he have blamed her? Still, it stung to think that maybe her advances weren't as sincere as he thought. "I... I'm not sure what to say," he said, looking off somewhere behind her. When her face buried itself in his shoulder, he lifted a hand to stroke her hair. "It's... it's okay? I mean... you are a healthy young woman.. You have needs."

He thought for a moment and then cleared his throat, "So then.. are you seeing someone?"

It was a few long moments before Kaylee could bring herself to speak again, and she drew back, wiping her eyes. His touch made her tremble again, and her heart was filled with deep regret- for she realized that her feelings for Simon hadn't really gone away.

"It was one date, and we were fixed up instead'a just... deciding to go out. And now I ain't so sure I want to go on a second one." She looked away. "If you wanna know the truth... it's... that I don't know what to do OR how to feel. Other than the fact that I feel pretty damned scummy. But you gotta understand... I wasn't sure if I was ever gonna see you again. I was... trying to fix how lonely I was. But now that you're back again it's all mucked up. I'm happy to see you. Real happy. But I also feel like I betrayed you."

"Wh- betrayed me? Kaylee... We were never... I mean... that is to say... you and I haven't... not yet." He suddenly felt very awkward and stiff. "I can't be mad if you haven't slighted me. That... That's silly. But I mean... if you're with someone else, I can't just expect you to... drop everything because I'm here. I'm not evil." He felt his heart constrict a little as he shifted on the balls of his feet, trying to decide on what to say.

"I care about you.. I don't want to upset you, dong ma?"

"And I don't want to upset you." Kaylee wiped her eyes on her sleeve. So he really didn't remember. That much was becoming evident. She could just walk away right now, she realized. Just walk away and see where this thing with Shepard went.

But she couldn't.

She knew that either way she went, she could be hurting someone she cared about.

"I wouldn't call it 'seeing someone', really... it was one date." She looked over at Simon. "... I thought I was okay, but the truth is, my feelings for you ain't gone away. That's what makes this so... so damned complicated. So upsetting." She grabbed one of his hands, entwining her fingers in his. "I don't want to hurt anyone. And I know I don't gotta make a decision right now. Seeing you again... it's already been great."

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