Video

[vdova]

Whoever set my phone to show everything in Russian and disabled it so I can't change it back? Not funny.

Fix it. Now.

Comments

[billionairephilanthropist]

Before anyone says it, this one was not me, either. Though it was a pretty silver-star idea. Not quite gold, but, amateurs. What can you do?

[vdova]

I know it wasn't you.

[billionairephilanthropist]

Not sure whether to be flattered or insulted

[vdova]

You'd have done better than Russian.

[billionairephilanthropist]

Flattered it is.

[vdova]

You're welcome.

[bowsbeforehoes]

Huh. That's a good idea.

[vdova]

You can do better, Clint. Russian's too predictable.

[bowsbeforehoes]

But that's the whole point! Simple works the best sometimes.

[vdova]

This is just annoying.

[bowsbeforehoes]

I'll figure a way to put it in Swahili next time. Just for you.

[vdova]

You're the best friend a girl could have.

[vdova]

Well, aside from my guns.

[themuse]

I'm assuming you can still read it since you're using it, but if you can't, I can help.

[vdova]

I'm a native speaker, actually, which is why it's not a very good prank. But thank you.

[themuse]

Definitely not a very creative prank, that's for sure. Your English is impeccable, in that case. Wish I could say the same for my Russian.

[vdova]

Thank you. I learned both at a very young age.

[themuse]

Supposedly that makes it easier. I didn't start until high school, but a semester in Kiev helped.

[vdova]

The Ukraine is a lovely area. I've.. only been to Kiev once, when I was small. I don't remember much.

[themuse]

It was beautiful. And a long way from New York. Which is exactly what I needed, at the time.

[text]

[detectivewonder]

I can probably fix that, if you's like.

[Attached: Natasha's daily routine, as much as it can be pinned down, with added notes to remind Tim when it's safe to remove and recharge the surveillance cameras.]

[text]

[vdova]

Почему вы шпионить за мной?

[ Video ]

[vdova]

[ And then right after the text, he gets a video. Seems she can't even send text in English right now. ] You've been spying on me?

[Video//uber high security of course... slightly glitchy now]

[detectivewonder]

I run surveillance for Torchwood; I spy on everybody. What about it?

[vdova]

I don't take kindly to being spied on.

((lying through his teeth, has not yet figured out about his text attachments))

[detectivewonder]

[Video]

Look, if you've got a problem with routine surveillance, take it up with Captain Harkness. I've got three quarters of the security feeds on this island routed through my filters, I can't exactly switch them off whenever you happen to step in front of them.

[vdova]

I'm fairly certain twenty minutes of watching me and James watch CSI: Des Moines isn't routine, Tim.

[Video] ((...getting smarter))

[detectivewonder]

It would probably be counterproductive of me to ask how you know about that.

[vdova]

You just sent me the files.

[video]

[detectivewonder]

Brilliant. And here I thought writing my own OS for my phone would keep the virus from propagating.

If it helps, I really do spy on everybody. Jack, Ianto, the police, schoolkids, everybody except my girlfriend.

Re: [video]

[vdova]

And me.

[video]

[detectivewonder]

Listen, no offense intended, but what makes you special? I don't view all the surveillance myself; it's archived for emergency review, and run through filters that search keywords and sensitive locations. I may have filmed you watching TV; but I haven't seen it. And...

... we should really have this conversation in person. Right now we should assume everything we say is being broadcast in the clear.

[video]

[vdova]

It wasn't a request. If you want to keep your CC cameras functional, you'll stop spying on me.

[video]

[detectivewonder]

...I'll come pick them up, then.

Re: [video]

[vdova]

Thank you for your cooperation.

[video]

[detectivewonder]

No problem.