To the decadent sybarites of New Moore...

[coinmover]

...your days of peace and relaxation have now just come to an end.  Unless I, the Master of Magnetism, get what I want, your days will end in chaos.

Return what has been taken from me no later than noon tomorrow, or I will alter the magnetic fields of this island and turn every skyscraper in the city into a magnetic superconductor.  Your computers will be wiped.  Your cars, your change, even your fillings pulled away from you to make a monument to my greatness.  The streets will become a whirlwind of shrapnel.  Your power systems disrupted.  And, of course, when a large enough electrical charge has been built up... you will all, ultimately, be destroyed by the largest bolt of lightning the world has ever seen.

Cease your petty squabbles and pay heed... pay tribute... or you will all die.

Comments

[themuse]

[Erik, you are just going to get one really unimpressed looking Beckett.]

Might wanna specify what it is exactly you want back before you start throwing around threats.

[Also she thought fillings were made out of porcelain... but whatever.]

[thneed]

You didn't even say what it was, Mister Magnet.

[coinmover]

The Lady Ukraine is missing.

If you wish to save your pathetic human settlement, find her.

[coinmover]

That which makes life worth living.

Her name is Ukraina, and she has vanished. If she does not reappear, all of you will vanish after her.

[calmyourmind]

...Erik?

[thneed]

Oh her. [ oops. ]

Don't you think you're being a little over dramatic?

[coinmover]

Never.

[coinmover]

...

That was once my name, but like all my humanity it is long forsaken. There is only the Master of Magnetism, now.

[thneed]

Did you check behind the sofa?

He would be more worried about this if England wasn't also a fairy.

[calmyourmind]

...

For the sake of argument, and my own sanity, would you mind clarifying a bit on what exactly has been taken from you and why it requires such a drastic and... dramatic... response.

texts before she sees the network

[sunflowersister]

Sorry, sorry! I left my phone in the kitchen while Onceler and I were knitting.

[sunflowersister]

I made extra pancakes if you want me to bring them over!

[sunflowersister]

Erik?

[sunflowersister]

[sunflowersister]

Oh wow for a second by tribute I thought you meant blackmail, I was very concerned there.

[sunflowersister]

Wait I'm still concerned!! Did someone take your saucer building??

[notvictorious]

Knew this was going to happen sooner or later.

[coinmover]

Mock if you like. You won't live to regret it.

[coinmover]

The Lady Ukraina was kidnapped.

[amberwaves]

OH MY GOD WHAT DID I TELL YOU HE IS GOING TO KILL EVERYONE UKRAINE

[coinmover]

They took you.

[coinmover]

Then enjoy being right while you still may.

[coinmover]

Ukraina?

[amberwaves]

dude chill out.

[thneed]

You need to work on those anger issues, buckethead.