(no subject)

[unmasking]

Who likes hypotheticals? Okay, actually, let's don't answer that because I bet a whole bunch of you don't like hypotheticals. But let's say you do, for the sake of understanding what page everyone is on. A lot of people might be on the same page, after all, and other-me pulled out a nice hypothetical situation, and I'd like to pull out a reality. You know, just to see who knows what.

So, uh, hi, I'm Peter Parker. That's a starter! See where I'm going with this? No, well, there's a reason why I'm not your witty clever blogger, but I did consider it a few times. Turns out it's really not for me. I never got any hits and everyone was very unimpressed with me. How does one become a famous blogger, anyway? Because Perez Hilton pulls it off and everyone can't stand that guy.

Okay, focus.

So, the not-so-hypothetical situation is that it seems like we've got a lot of people here from similar places with similar stuff, and it might be good to ... figure that out! So I'm going to lob out twenty questions (it might be less, I'm writing this by the seat of my pants). I'm not saying that other people can't play along. It might be fun. If you wanna drop a comment of your own and try to figure out this mystery, that'd be great.

Right—uh, questions!

1. Do you know how miserable it is to stand in the line for Shake Shack, right up until you get a delicious burger into your hands covered in weird not-imitation cheese even if it seems like it, while sipping down the most delicious shake of your life? (If you have any relevant allergies here, you can skip half this question. Or if you're a vegan. I'm gonna be open and conscious here. If you're a vegan, I might wonder about you, because then you may never know the wonder of Shake Shack.)

2. Do you frequently wonder why the east side of New York mostly only has the green line, the most hated line of them all, well known for its frequent jerkery and unpleasant cramming against other bodies?

3. Do you know the Avengers or the Ultimates? Specify which!

4. ... Or the X-Men? Though I think they're kinda defunct these days.

5. What about that masked menace Spider-Man? Though I've heard rumors that his reputation's looking up lately. I wonder what's going on with that.

6. If none of these are familiar, do you have masked superheroes in your world?

7. ... Do any of these masked superheroes include Batman and Superman? (Though we're using mask in a loose sense here.)

8. If none of the above, do you use a lightsaber? I need to get your autograph.

That's all! I guess I fail at twenty questions. But I think I got us started, so uh, let's get the ball rolling.

[ooc: as a brief note, questions 1 and 2 refer to NYC staples for all the NYC characters. Shake Shack is a super popular burger establishment and the green line is an often overly packed line that services a large portion of the city. all times are rush hour on it.]

Comments

[swordhappy]

I know the Avengers, and I am familiar with the X-Men. And I have seen Spider-Man somewhat recently, before here, though perhaps not as mortals define recent. But as to his reputation, I cannot say. His insistence that I validate his approval was both ridiculous and unwelcome, for a certain.

[Because Doc Ock, natch.]

[unmasking]

... Your Spider-Man is a jerk, huh.

[swordhappy]

As I said, he seemed to think I needed his approval and his permission. After we had a disagreement over whether or not I could dispatch the monsters I had pursued. And I quote: "Heard from Thor lately?"

[unmasking]

I'm going to guess you can dispatch monsters just fine. Am I right on that one? I'm right on that one, aren't I? Especially if you know Thor.

[swordhappy]

Oh, to be sure. I have> been doing it for centuries longer than the Spider-Man.

[unmasking]

Wow. Yeah. What a jerk.

[swordhappy]

To me, anyway, but I doubt if he dared do it to me he would not do the same to others. I did not work in any case.

[unmasking]

This is gonna sound pretty weird, but ...

Sorry that happened to you.

[swordhappy]

Why? It is not your doing, and you need take no responsibility or feel guilt for it. It is not even though he was the first fool to try such a thing with me, or that it was remarkable, except in that he has a more distinctive costume and presence on Midgard than others. I took care of it easily,

[unmasking]

Because Spider-Man's supposed to be a good guy, not someone who taunts. Well, okay, he taunts, but not like that, like someone's ability is somehow valued by how he watches them. There's supposed to be this whole responsibility thing, and apparently he didn't think about responsibility when he was being that way.

[confides]

1. I miss the Custard Calendar already.

2. I always thought of it as sort of a Persian flaw. Though I guess we really don't need more of those, do we?

3-7. Listen, Peter... and it's funny how often I start sentences that way and then go on to... you really don't want to know.

8. Haven't seen a lightsaber so far.

[unmasking]

So you're a New Yorker but not our kind of New Yorker, got it.

Do you usually get the burger or do you double it up with the mushroom patty?

[confides]

Honestly, it depends on what I'm wearing. I'll go for the Shack Stack if I can afford to risk getting something on my shirt, but if it's a formal sort of day I just can't do it. Which is a shame.

Nick Halden. It's good to see some things don't change from one world to the next. I'd be heartbroken if the rest of the universe couldn't share.

[unmasking]

I usually don't have to worry about what I'm wearing, but I'm only sixteen.

Nice to meet you, Nick. I'm glad that Shake Shack seems to be an interdimensional constant even if Nick Fury doesn't seem to be.

[getoffmyearth]

3. Avengers. Who's been calling themselves the Ultimates? I thought everybody was trying to stick with names based on verbs.

4. They still exist, but I don't know I would call them defunct.

5. Where did you get menace from?

8. If they existed, I'd have one.

So I guess that makes it my turn. Why do you want to know, what are you trying to confirm, what's the plan? Et cetera.

[unmasking]

3. They're called the Ultimates where I come from.

4. And that's definitely a universe difference thing.

5. The Daily Bugle.

8. I'd say I'd also have one, but I think it'd be a little too easy to kill someone.

I think there are a lot of people who know other versions of each other, and I'd like to see where things cross.

[notdogmatic]

1. I do not.

2. I do not.

3. I am familiar with the Avengers.

4. I do not.

5. I have seen him. He is a menace?

6. Yes. They are tortured and enslaved cyborgs. The mask is a part of the equipment necessary to contain them and shroud their identity.

7. They do not.

8. I do not know what that is.

[unmasking]

Okay, weirdly enough, the search engine here really wanted me to look up "beam épée" but here's the most relevant answer I can give you:

[notdogmatic]

I see.

I have been told Schnoogle has a great many peculiarities as a search engine.

[unmasking]

Like the fact that it's called Schnoogle?

[notdogmatic]

That is unusual?

[unmasking]

Usually companies are subtler about being a rip off. Like Bing.

[sincenewyork]

1. I have people to stand in line for me.

2. Not really my favored mode of travel, never thought about it.

I'm on the Avengers. Still working on the lightsaber; get back to me in six months.

[unmasking]

1. That you do!

2. I wish I could take a car everywhere, but then I'd be stuck in midtown occasionally during rush hour. Tourists trying to walk like New Yorkers sounds like a nightmare behind the wheel. Or behind the front seat of the guy behind the wheel.

And I will, if we both stick around. I'd actually love to know where your research is right about now. We—uh, we kinda worked together. Once. The other you and me. You gave me a great birthday present.

[sincenewyork]

Well, once I steal my name off the front of that building and find a new Christmas tree to hang it on, maybe we'll see about getting an internship program set up.

[unmasking]

Really? That'd be great.

[sincenewyork]

You might have to fist-fight a few of the other applicants. Or mud-wrestling, maybe, I haven't decided.

[unmasking]

... Can't I just show you my awesome talents?

[sincenewyork]

More awesome than mud wrestling?

[unmasking]

If you let me show you the things I can build.

[sincenewyork]

Building things is good.

All right, we'll do that. Whatever day my offices open on. I'll tell my Chief Executive Secretary to pencil you in.

[unmasking]

Chief Executive Secretary?

[unbodied]

Oh my god. Peter. Stop being so... you!

[unmasking]

I don't know how.

[unbodied]

See: why we broke up.

[unmasking]

Yeah. That sounds about right.

[everythingspandex]

1. Y
2. Y
3. N.
4. N.
5. Y. Since when is Spider-Man a masked menace?
6. ^
7. I wish.
8. Ditto on the needing the autograph.

private.

[unmasking]

So.



Are we both Spider-Man?

private.

[everythingspandex]

Guess so.

Not sure if that's a good thing or not.

private.

[unmasking]

Do you know Norman Osborn?

private.

[everythingspandex]

Not personally but I know who that is.

private.

[unmasking]

... Where'd you get bitten, then?

private.

[everythingspandex]

Back of the neck.

private.

[unmasking]

No, no, no, the location.

private.

[everythingspandex]

Oh! Oscorp building.

private.

[unmasking]

... Okay. So. Same place.

private.

[everythingspandex]

Same place.
Did you get to keep the spider?