text;

[maiditoutalive]

wow
i definitely didnt see this coming!
who knew that one day you could just wake up and be casually informed everything you thought youd lived before was complete fiction
i sure didnt
but
hmmmmm
it sounds just a tad
suspicious
dont you think?
i dontt really know whats going on but im not sure i automatically believe it just because somebody said it
my life felt pretty real to me you know and i am fairly certain somewhere along theres probably a philosophical paradigm to justify all of this in between the complexities of space time and consciousness
your fiction could be my reality in an alternate dimension, what about that?
or!
what if this were the fiction??
ooh that would be a twist!!
it definitely sounds like something out a book or maybe one of those sci fi tv shows where theyre always trying to trip you up
surprise it was just a dream all along!
you know what i mean?
anyway
im aradia
if any of my friends were chosen to be told that they are actually fictional entities and now we are finally experiencing real life please let me know so we can meet up again and compare notes on our fictional existences and timelines

Comments

[callbacks]

oh hey i remember you
corpse girl
queen of the bubbles
hows it hanging

[maiditoutalive]

hello dave
the only thing hanging appears to be the light and i would say it shows no sign of falling so its hanging quite well i would say
but if you are asking how i am the answer is just fine for the moment
maybe a bit bemused at the whole thing

[callbacks]

yeah which part
the yo sup youre the star of the webcomic of your life part or like
i dunno any of the million other things that can get just slightly perplexing around us people
like
why anyone would think dragging a bunch of apocalypse survivor badasses to summer camp would be a good idea

[maiditoutalive]

i think the former more than the latter
i assume they thought dragging us here would be a good idea based on some objective criteria about badassery which by your own words we should qualify for

[callbacks]

i think we might be having an interspecies failure to communicate here
yes were hella badass but on human earth badasses dont go to summer camp
human wigglies go to summer camp
so that they can scream at each other and eat paste
so basically perfect for karkat and john but maybe the rest of us have better things to do with the daylight

[maiditoutalive]

i think you lost me
what does paste have to do with anything??
and why would you eat it?
that doesnt sound particularly healthy or nutritious or even tasty

[callbacks]

youve gotta ask someone else about that
im not a baby
just lifes babysitter apparently
time player you probably know how it goes

[maiditoutalive]

oh yes i do
to be honest our session was actually prone to needing quite a lot of tending to keep twelve players with sometimes less than cordial relationships in line and on the right track
but to answer your question
why "apocalyptic survivor badasses"
if you were going to pick fictional characters to spontaneously bring to life
putting aside the questionable facts supporting the assumption that what they are saying is true
wouldnt you pick the coolest ones you could think of?

[callbacks]

yeah
i guess thats about what i figured once i laid the facts on the table
maybe great minds think alike
so where are sweet bro and hella jeff
ive been waiting for them to show up but no dice so far

[maiditoutalive]

maybe if we can find the person in charge you can ask them that yourself

[callbacks]

the only lead ive got is some guy named principal dinkerton
the other kids are kind of like
obsessed with him???
otherwise i dont really know if anybodys in charge

[maiditoutalive]

that sounds
completely made up

[callbacks]

i know right
hes real though
you know for a given standard of real that apparently we didnt measure up to before

[maiditoutalive]

hmmmm
i dont know
i have significantly more trouble believing in a man named principal dinkerton than i do dave strider or aradia megido
it sounds like a name somebody completely unfamiliar with naming practices would make up to attempt to pass someone off
names dont just appear out of thin air
they have a history
they have to come from somewhere
where would a dinkerton come from???
maybe we should check it out

[callbacks]

whoa
do you think hes got like
a shady past or something
is he like the dude in the jaden bourme movies
he doesnt really look like he could be played by matt damon though i guess that can only be a compliment
is there a troll matt damon

[maiditoutalive]

i definitely think a shady past is not out of the question
and i think we do!
the name sounds familiar but you would probably have to ask karkat
i am not really a film expert
except for the troll indiana jones movies

[callbacks]

no im not asking karkat
that just sounds like a recipe for disaster
where the disaster is me having to sit down for a movie with him
ive had enough of that for like six lifetimes
speaking of karkat hes here
ive got a list if trolltown hasnt checked in yet

[maiditoutalive]

i think its for you and karkat to bond like that
you both are very similar in that you feel that the best way to relate to somebody is to give them as hard a time as you possibly can before you can try to build a relationship with them
so i am sure you two have plenty to talk about
and yes i would like to know who is here if you dont mind informing on them to me

[callbacks]

wow no i am not like karkat and we are not bonding
there is nothing at all similar about us
i am one hundred percent prime grade untamed awesome
while karkat is a raging tool
i think im offended
but since im such a magnanimous guy that in no way ever gives anybody a hard time ill tell you who alls here
on our end its me john rose jade and bird me
and also roses teen mom and my teen bro
and then for you guys theres karkat eridan feferi sollux kanaya and gamzee
and the shitty rapper
tavros??

[maiditoutalive]

you know part of the similarity is that if i had said the same thing to him
he would probably reply with much the same statements
only your positions would be reversed
he would also be offended by the comparison
i think you will just have to accept the likeness dave!
but i appreciate you being such a magnanimous guy anyway
so thank you dave

i thought tavros was getting better at rapping though

[callbacks]

where the fuck does he get off being offended
karkat can only dream of being this irresistible to troll ladies and human chicks alike
and also just generally fucking chill and suave
he can try to hang out with john as much as he wants to make himself look good
im still the injured party here

speaking of injuries
no
your horn buddy definitely hasnt gotten better
it was almost painful how badly he failed to burn me

[maiditoutalive]

wow
forgive me dave
i did not know you were a ladies man
somehow i must have missed all these troll ladies and human chicks swooning in your presence when we met
perhaps i was just blinded by your suave and did not see it

i am not sure why you both insist on playing with sick fires anyway
it seems kind of dangerous??
and also not really relevant to rap

[callbacks]

yeah obviously
check in with terezi for your blind people readjustment counseling
or well
you could if she was here
which shes not
loser

and yeah about that
generally
the sick fires are metaphorical
but whatever he can pack literal heat if it makes him feel better its no toast off my corpse

[maiditoutalive]

oh i thought that was a literal thing you did
when you two met in a dream bubble he was carrying fires
i had assumed it was a rapper tradition to bring flame to a
rap meeting?
much in the same way gamzee honks because of his religion

[callbacks]

jam session
or beatdown depending
and i thought he just did that because he was fucking shithive