thoughtformed

Between you and your girlfriend or with you and your friends?

I'm not even sure she's mad at me, so. The other stuff. Everything.

Maybe when I'm sober.

[He slowly sits up a bit more, rubbing his face with one hand and then he reaches out, not thinking much of it, to touch her shoulder.]

Thanks.

[Shrugs, briefly closing her eyes to rest them. She had been reading late last night. Her eyes need a little rest, or maybe she needs a nap.]

You'll figure it out. [But he won't find the answer at the bottle of a bottle.

The 'thanks' is the last thing she hears followed by the weight of a hand on her shoulder. The sweater she's wearing left her shoulders exposed. Her eyes instantly go wide feeling energy, memories and power transferred to her. It's all a whirlwind to her, but she knows she needs to break the contact.

She jerks herself away from him, falling to the side. The rest of her lower body is covered. If he touches her again, he'll come in contact with her clothes. Her head is buzzing with memories and powers that aren't hers, she should be freaking out but she has to make sure he's fine first.

Damnit! Why wasn't she more careful?!] Sirius? Sirius!

[It feels familiar. The drain, the weakness. But there is less dread than a dementor's influence always brings on and it's still different, too, weakening in another sense.

His head was already spinning, but now it's enough to make him fall over, vision starting to go black although he fights against it. He only hears her voice faintly, but at least he manages to turn his head enough to look at her.]

What-?

[The single word was enough to calm her down. He wasn't dead, he wasn't in a coma. The life force she took from him was slight, but it was enough to make her dizzy and recall things that weren't her own memories. Her head is spinning, her mind fuzzy and feelings coming over her. Guilt, anger, frustration, worry...it's all there. Enough for her to touch and nearly mistake it for her own.

Crap, she feels ill. She starts to crawl forward, trying to get her body to cooperate to stand and leave.]

I can't be touched.

Alright. Alright, I got that.

[On the plus side, if it can be call that, the shock had been enough to sober him up, at least for the moment. His movements aren't exactly elegant, but he does manage to push himself upright and look at her.]

It's okay. Just stay here, Rogue. What does it do?

[There is no plus side to this. It was a mistake, a huge mistake, that could've ended with him in a coma or worse. It's a grave reminder for her to not let her guard down, reaffirming her to keep people at an arm's distance.]

I need ta leave. [She's being stubborn and making her decisions, but fear and self-loathing is driving her right now.]

Just let me go.

Look, Rogue, maybe I can help! [Yes, this would definitely be easier if he was at full strength and his mind didn't make it almost impossible to focus right now.]

I want to at least know what in Merlin's name that was. What did that do to us?

Ya can't help! [The only one who could was the professor and he as sure as hell isn't here.

Fuck, why did she bother coming over? She tries to stand up, but the moment she does fear grips at her heart. There's something dark looming in her mind now. Something with no face, but covered in robes or wisps of clothing. It's not there...not there.

She curls her hand into a fist, focusing on making her grip as tight as it can be.]

That was my power. I'm a mutant, like Gambit. I...[Pauses, taking in a slow deep breath.] can take people's life force, their power, their memories. [And all with a single touch.]

Memories? [Sirius doesn't worry about the life force, because he's still alive. He feels magic inside and around him, as he has since he can remember, so that is not a worry, either. But his memories being taken...

It triggers panic inside him and he's breathing faster as he stares at her. Loss of memories, loss of sanity, loss of self. He knows it too well and he fears it too much.]

What did you take?

I don't know! It's ..it's all fragments in my head. [And it's draining, really it is. Trying to keep her memories and whatever bits and pieces of his that she took away from each other is draining.]

I don't get ta choose which memories I take. Whatever you were thinking or whatever you were feeling, I can feel that now.

[She takes in another deep breath, focusing her mind on breathing in and out in slow, controlled, breaths. Maybe she can try standing up again.]

...oh. Merlin, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

[And he does look sorry, now that some of the panic ebbs away, feeling helpless and guilty.]

I shouldn't have... I didn't know, I... Fuck, is there anything I can do?

[She can hear it in his voice that he's sorry and he's not the only one. Rogue manages to get to her feet, still focused on her breathing and now on getting to the door.]

You're right, you didn't know. So this? This is my fault. [She got too close. She's dangerous to herself and to others.]

Don't touch me, don't ever come near me. [A bit dramatic, but she's pushing him away for his own good. ]

[Bloody hell, he still hasn't managed to get up himself.]

I won't touch you again! Promise. I just don't want you to have to deal with it alone!

I'm used to it.

[She manages one step and then another before she feels light headed again. Those hooded figures in the back of her mind, the ones that keep dredging up more fear, guilt and horror, are starting to appear before her.

They're not real. They can't be real.

It's a fragment of his memory, nothing else.]

[Sirius keeps a hand on the wall and finally makes it to his feet, looking at her and swallowing past his guilt.]

Merlin, Rogue, what did I do to you?

[He gave her a very good reminder of why she needs to stay away. But in hearing his voice it's enough to jolt her out of the memory and back into the present. She forces herself to take another step froward, getting closer to the door.]

You didn't do anything. [She did this to herself.]

Not how it looked to me. Rogue, if you're... If it's my memories giving you trouble, let me help.

[...somehow.]

No.

[With that final word she manages to leave his shop, trying to get back to her apartment.]

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