(no subject)

[pelagically]

[ Yep, the sea-green banded parrot is back and this asshole sounds even lazier and smugger than he did last year. ]

This is a message from Captain Odair.

The Coup de Chance has returned to Nuevo Paramo to continue our quest. We pay no heed to rumors, fanciful as they may be. The Sextant is as cursed as I am — that is to say, it isn't, aside from being cursed with beauty. Anyone with information regarding its whereabouts may seek refuge on our ship when we make our escape, and share in our inevitable profits. We're more than happy to cooperate.

Of course, if you choose to resist, you'll quickly meet our newest crew member. He's a gunner of good repute, and more importantly, he looks good doing it.

Godspeed, fellow men and women of the sea. We dock at— Alois, if your bird doesn't stop attacking the ship, I'll drown it myself. Get it off. Get it off— [ and that's where that message ends because they're all terrible pirates ]

Comments

[johannamason]

We dock at not soon enough.

[pelagically]

Your new duty as first mate is to keep that bird under control.

[johannamason]

Then I'll put an axe through it. Problem solved.

[pelagically]

Good luck.

[johannamason]

How fast is this bird anyway

[pelagically]

Fast. And I just saw it chew through solid wood.

I may have English use it for target practice.

[johannamason]

The kid with the booty shorts? Wait, am I actually complaining about nudity..

[pelagically]

He picked his own uniform.

[pelagically]

No, that wasn't an invitation... please, put your shirt back on.

[johannamason]

Too late, let's go freak out Katniss. She in the crow's nest again?

[shabby audio parrot]

[notjohnsmith]

It's a fairly trivial curse, if you think about it - at the worst, just over a percentage point of a Helen. Or would that be a reverse Helen?

Leaving that aside as an irrelevant sort of measurement, hypothetically, if someone had a piece of information that might be material to the search, but they wanted to hold out for a greater reward than a single berth, what other sorts of reward might be offered?

This parrot's color is impossible to make out under all the flour.

[breadtrauma]

Can you send the little one out to get us some supplies, Captain? We're running low on, well. Everything.

There was an incident with his parrot.