[ Yep, the sea-green banded parrot is back and this asshole sounds even lazier and smugger than he did last year. ]

This is a message from Captain Odair.

The Coup de Chance has returned to Nuevo Paramo to continue our quest. We pay no heed to rumors, fanciful as they may be. The Sextant is as cursed as I am — that is to say, it isn't, aside from being cursed with beauty. Anyone with information regarding its whereabouts may seek refuge on our ship when we make our escape, and share in our inevitable profits. We're more than happy to cooperate.

Of course, if you choose to resist, you'll quickly meet our newest crew member. He's a gunner of good repute, and more importantly, he looks good doing it.

Godspeed, fellow men and women of the sea. We dock at— Alois, if your bird doesn't stop attacking the ship, I'll drown it myself. Get it off. Get it off— [ and that's where that message ends because they're all terrible pirates ]

I need to know all that I can about Katniss Everdeen.

If I can understand her well enough, I can pick up her psychic trail in the Dark Hour and find her.

There is no way I'm letting my last weekend before classes turn into a bust. I feel like I haven't talked to anyone all summer I've been working so much - so who's up for an impromptu party? Souji? I know stuff's been so busy lately we haven't had time to see eachother, but you wouldn't leave me hanging, here. And Tim I know you're good for a good time, when you want to be. Who else...

R - can zombies even drink? Peeta you get an automatic invite. Stand by your man, and all. You can bring your mistress too, if you want; I'm not one of those clingy, jealous husbands.

Actually... make that a standing invite to everyone on the island. We're all young and improbably good-looking, we should be living it up a little! Please live it up a little. I don't want to have spent my entire summer eating pizza on my sofa and watching webflicks.

Now that I'm supposedly married in the public eye to the right person again, I can get back to what matters.

That cake mix was awful and it should be ashamed of itself.

i'm dead apparently i thought i should let everyone know

it's not that different from being alive so far but my funeral was nice at least. am i supposed to haunt someone? i don't know if i'm actually up to that it sounds really intimidating

anyway goodbye

Marrying people against their will. Really think the Games are that far off?

Katniss, separate from Peeta for half a second. Finnick is volunteering you for a party. We all know how much you love parties.

Katniss, did they rope you into being a summer camp counselor again?

Please say yes. I can't do this alone.

I think my boss is dead.

There are way too many people here.

[ You see one MEENAH PEIXES performing the ever so rare Troll act of USING VIDEO COMMUNICATION. Of course the video starts with her holding the phone at an odd angle to show herself while making a fish face. OF COURSE. She looks pretty pleased with herself, ignoring the fact she is almost perpetually pleased with herself. ]

Sup, N.M? Got somefin to show you, so you all betta be sitting your basses down tight for this. Got me? Sit down! That's the last warnin' you're gonna get and I'm not in any way liable for any casualties resulting from the upcoming awesome.

[ She flips the video around and a red-and-white themed building comes into view. The building appears to be in perfect, clean condition. The large windows in the front seemed to have a range of baked goods behind them and the the logo right above the door was impossible to miss. ]

Now that I've blown your thinkpans, go ahead and get off the floor, put your pants back on, and get out your cash. B.C. is open for business.

...And on a related note, anymoby want a job at a bakery? Qualifications must include not sucking and listening to me.

( Private to Roxy )

( Private to Vriska )

[Damian does not know how to talk to people. This has been established numerous times over, and that was when he didn't even have a reason to need to interact with anybody outside his immediate family, and he'd needed no other friend but Dick. Times have changed, and he'd rather die than be friends with Tim Drake and Jason Todd. Having to acknowledge them is bad enough. Living with somebody else was better than them.

But this roommate thing? Yeah. He is so not having this.]

Anyone tasteless enough to play pop songs older than my father until 4 in the morning deserves to have their stereo system systematically dismantled and crushed into dust.

[He is not asking for approval or validation. This is not opinion. Damian Wayne has said it, and therefore it is fact. It's just a question of- has he done it yet?]

Dr. Aurelius would be happy to know I've finally found the definitive answer to "real, or not real?" thanks to the staff at the hospital. I appreciate the firm touch, and I'm sorry if I broke anything expensive.

Well, anything too expensive.

They went over some other points that seem slightly different from the way of things back home. So, if, say, I might be surprised to see you--It's okay. I get it. Now's the time to say hello, though.

Unless you want me to be more than surprised later.

Who: LITERALLY EVERYONE. Especially anyone who doesn't actually go to this school.
What: IT'S PROM TIME. COME MAKE HOT MESSES OF YOURSELVES IN FRONT OF YOUR PEERS WHILE LOOKING LIKE 20'S REJECTS!
Where: The, uh. The school?
When TODAY. TONIGHT. CAPS LOCK. Saturday the 18th to clarify and be useful for half a second.
Why: Because Principal Buddy Dinkerton decreed that it should be so. Also, what is life without awkward dancing, and repeated attempts to spike the punch bowl, and Prom King Agent Coulson graciously leading us all? Nothing, that's what.


IT'S A LOG, HEY, IT'S A PROM LOG! Because I'm a stickler for organization AND ALSO I think it would help a bit, Imma give you all some subheadings to post under for all your different-parts-of-prom-night-shenanigans needs. Feel free OF COURSE to post top-level comments outside of the subheadings. Be free, buck the system, etc.

Here's your plot post if you need it, plus your prom court election results.

I WILL EDIT THIS ONCE I AM DONE WITH MY SUBHEADINGS SO GIVE ME A MOMENT, YO. DONE, YO. GO YE FORTH.

Aww, maaaan ... this is so unfair! How'm I supposed to just come up with a date to this stupid dance at the last minute?

Well, that didn't turn out as useful as I'd hoped.

But I made it erupt.