[Guess who has the flu? That's right. The Healer. Is this horribly ironic or just horrible?]

If anyone needs me, I'll be dying in a pile of tissues. James love, I'm going to sleep on the couch or something. I don't want to get you sick.

[She sneezes - into a tissue, of course - and winces as her head aches unbearably.]

I need to make some Pepper-Up...

Did everyone enjoy Christmas?

Y'know what? The worst thing about being here for three years (A BLOODY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME BY THE BY) wasn't living with an ingrate alien who can't keep his volume down to a dull roar, or falling head over arse for a girl who regenerated into someone ENTIRELY DIFFERENT and then left, or going through three (three? four? three? nine hundred?) Barrys and never being certain which one spied on me in the shower (only joking, it was all of them), or the time Belarus chopped my cock off, or all those other murders I don't care to recount at the moment, or finding out my mates replaced me with some cheap knockoff split personality prick, or listening to my shadow whinge and bitch for days on end, or working for the most anal retentive vampire ever written into existence probably by some suicidal goth teenager, or Alois' general existence (rest in peace or whatever the fuck), or ghost menageries, or being forced to tell the truth about all my very manly feelings, or the time I found guacamole that expired eighteen months prior in the back of my refrigerator.

No, no no no, far and fucking away, the worst part has been my introduction to shite video games.



Fuck me.

All the more reason to get proper twatted for the new year I suppose!

Ramona... please. Return this.

Not sure who's out there listening, but I'm gonna take a guess that everyone got the same story coming in.

Anyone buying it?

[ Because he's not, but he's keeping as much emotion out of his voice as possible, even though this situation is a new one even for him. ]

Tasha, if you copy this, tell me it's something we can take care of.

Well, guess I'd better go check the rest of this place out, huh? See if there's a way out.

[ The feed clicks on, and the camera angle is a little jaunty. Guess who's just figured out he can post videos! It's Vivi! And he's looking simultaneously very pleased and somewhat distressed in his big hat and brand new very colorful scarf. ]

I.. um! I didn't realize it was a holiday today! This place... it has so many holidays I don't know how everyone can keep up with everything!

U-Um... Thank you for the presents, Miss Rapunzel! I r-really like my scarf! It's really pretty and comfortable! I.. I'm sorry that I didn't get you anything b-but I can! I promise! What would you like? I.. can try to make cookies! My grandpa was a really good cook so maybe I can learn too!

[So, this device is really difficult to handle when one is freaking out and also holding a glass in one hand, so it's no wonder that it takes him a while to switch to private. The first bit of this is all very audible.]

Your mother is a ********** Lorem ipsem ******* Admintum Venium******* Tragula ****** hippopotamus **** republican *********Daniel Radcliffe ****** with a bucket of ******* in a castle far away where no one can hear you ******* soup ******* with a bucket of ******** Mickey Mouse ******** a stick of dynamite ****** magical ****** Alakazam!

[ooc: Yes, I quoted the Potter Puppet Pals. All rights to them and nothing is too meta for Thoughtformed.]

[Private to James and Lily]

Talk to me, please. Er. And listen. Listening would be great.

[Private to Rudy]

Mate, I need someone really irresponsible, so don't let me down.

[Private to Sheska]

Er. Sheska? Love?

[Private to Rogue]

Life still sucks. Want to feel better about yourself?

[Private to Alisha]

Alisha, hey. I've got some news for you. We should talk.

[...don't say 'We should talk.' to your girlfriend, idiot.]

Well they would call it fiction, wouldn't they? Magical nonsense. What muggle would ever believe in it?

Sorry. Hello. Excuse me, but has anyone about happened across an owl? Just curiosity, you understand. If you happen to see one, could you let me know? I assume this strange function works in two directions, so I would appreciate it. Thank you.

How does the saying go? Ah, yes.

Bah, humbug.

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? I am not fucking around here. Everyone seemed totally fuckin' fine with all of that bullshit nonsense the last couple of days like it was no big deal.

I know this place gets up to some weird shit sometimes but Jesus fucking Christ. Felt like I was gonna have me soul ripped out or something. Christ.

I'm offering a discount on weapons and potions at my shop since this place seems to be suffering another outbreak. Do come by sometime.

Which do you think is worse? Never waking from your dream, or never being able to dream?

[This is absolutely accidental because Lily would never ever ever flaunt such a costume in public, but hey, at least she's in the spirit of Halloween? Network, have a very red faced Witch wearing this and looking at herself in the mirror.]

This is far too short. What was I thinking? [She tugs on the hem, biting her lip.] Maybe if I wore a skirt with it, but would that get in the way of the tail?

[And she turns to look at said tail, unaware that all of her motions are being recorded.]

Merlin, tights would be better than nothing...

[Lily is huddled up with a pillow pressed to her chest. No, it's not moving. She has put the girls on display far too much as of late.]

I've learned something. Corsets are torture devices.

Do you know I have bruises in places I don't even want to name?

So yes. Avoid them at all costs. If you want to be skinny and busty, wear the right colors and make sure your clothing fits you appropriately.

[Her face is pressed against the top of the pillow. Only her dark red hair and bright eyes can be seen now.]

[Private to James and Sirius.]

Talk to me? I'm sorry I was mean. I guess I was a spoiled wench.

[She is trying to lighten the mood. There's no reason to talk about prisons and regrets.]

If you want, you can give me an annoying parrot for my birthday.

[/]

[Private to Severus Snape.]

How are you settling in?

[/]

[Sirius is looking serious.

Focusing right at the camera and although his face is guarded, some raw emotion does shine through.]

Lily, James, I have to talk to you. It's important. You were right before, Prongs, but... I had reasons for not saying anything sooner.

This also means: Rudy, you little shit, you can buy your own bloody vodka. I've decided I'm not the type to get blackmailed by wankers like you. And, trust me, if I ever hear about you pulling anything like this on someone else, you'll pay for it. Just give me a bloody excuse.

[He ends the video there, but after a moment turns it back on for a



private message to Sheska]

I reckon this means I have to explain some things to you, too, love. Are you ready?

[Another private message goes out to Rogue.]

I just wanted to check on you, after everything. We should talk, maybe I can help you. Please.

[When this isn't replied to for several hours, his worry makes him send yet another private message to Gambit.]

Hey, mate, I wanted to ask you something. It's about Rogue.

James Potter here, offering a once in a lifetime opportunity - magical maps!
That's right, you heard it here first. Only The Marauders Maps have just what you need for every voyage. Currently offering discounts for first-time customers.

On a more serious note, it seems that a couple of thieves thought themselves within rights to take a five-finger-discount on some of our produce.
We have your descriptions. We'll give you one day to return our map, and that will be the extent of our generosity.
No one steals from the Marauders.