For once, the holidays approach and I really have not the slightest desire to partake in them.

[Private: Aziraphale]
I heard The Nancing Phony might be having some kind of special. Care to come for a drink?

Well that was mildly invigorating. An excellent step forward in upping the liveliness of this island. If you can not bring the people to the city crime, bring the city crime to the people.

[High security text to Aziraphale]

Check.

We should do that more often. The parrots were an interesting adaptation, but the rest of it was actually quite entertaining.

All right, well. As you may have come to  the conclusion of by now

[Though considering his Captain and Crewmates, possibly not]

My excursion to the HMS Norman Conquest did not go quite as according to plan as I had hoped.

I may be a bit delayed in getting back to the ship. According to the oh so accommodating commodore, delayed indefinitely.

Accommodating Commodore. Now there is an interesting pair of words.

Well I say, down with the ship and blast them to timbers, mateys. Let's show them who

[At "who" the parrot cocks it's head at the listener and flutters off to the next unsuspecting recipient, as if it thinks maybe that was the wrong person.]

The island seems a bit... noisy. With small, sticky fingered individuals.

[Private: Aziraphale]
So. All this noise? Not actually my side. For the record.

What are all these silly buggers at?

This island isn't that bad at all.

My psychotic roommate has vanished and today, walking down the street, I found my gorgeous baby waiting for me, as though we were back in England.



I also found something else in my roommate's place. Aziraphale. You may want to come have a look.

Does this place honestly not have a single casino?

[Private Aziraphale]

...Thanks. I owe you.

[So, someone has finally managed to nab their phone back.]

Someone get these nutters off me. My roommate's taken me hostage. Doesn't anyone bother checking on new recruits? I've been tied to this bloody chair for weeks. Hello?

[Private - Aziraphale]
Az? Bloody hell, Angel. I know you're here. One of your feathery friends has turned into a daft nutter. Get him off me.

[It's just a short audio clip. A series of interupted beeps, someone's number being dialed despite the audio function having already been activated. No one can see the intent and concentrated expression on Castiel's face, but it is there. He is standing in his assigned room at the Four Saisons, and somewhere in the background is the sound of the TV, actually on for once.]

Dean. This is the third message I have left for you. Where are you located?

[A short pause. Castiel frowns slightly to himself. Dean generally returned his calls within a day, sometimes two.]

Do not try to call my phone. It has been replaced. Call this number.

[It took him long enough to figure out his own phone, and he still did not understand it. Understanding this one would take much longer.]

Someone mind thinking my car back into existence?