[At 12:01, a minute after midnight – a minute after the Dark Hour – every television on the island switches on.

 

Grainy, flickering images like surveillance camera footage appear on the screen, most colors washed out to green and grey versions of themselves, but what the camera shows makes little sense. After all, why would someone have a surveillance camera in a cave? Or a tremendous computer screen with several desks worth of instrumentation and a massive, thronelike chair facing it? And what's that shadow coming from offscreen right? It looks like... a dinosaur?

 

The chair swivels around, slowly, to face the camera. There, sitting with his fingers steepled and a frown on his face, is Tim Drake. He's dressed in what seems to be an odd combination of ninja costume and Special Forces gear, and his eyes are glowing golden.]

 

Good evening, New Moore! And welcome. You're all about to get a sneak preview of a brand-new program tonight. I'm your host, Tim Wayne, and this is 'CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?'

 

[The computer screen behind him flashes with glowing text spelling out the title, and then shows hundreds of file folders being opened, thousands of documents having their security cracked and filling the screen with tiny, unreadable thumbnails.

 

He is smirking openly now.]

 

Any city has its share of secrets. Every person does too. And we're always snooping into them, always assuming that the little things you don't know are soooo important. That's bad enough. You know what's worse, though?

 

[He glances offscreen briefly, giving someone or something a significant look.]

 

Keeping secrets. That's what really hurts you. What worms into your lives, breaks apart your relationships, makes you hide, paranoid, in some...

 

[He lets out a brief, exasperated breath, and his voice turns bitter and sarcastic for a moment.]

 

… some 'Fortress of Solitude,' some hole in the ground, thinking that it's necessary, it's vital that this never gets out. Who could like you if they knew? How would you be safe?

 

But the truth is that hiding things makes people suspicious. Honesty makes you safe. You're hard at work bricking yourself up, driving people away, can't you see that? You're so obsessed with secrets that you ignore everyone, so of course, nobody likes you in the first place.

 

[That last sentence is almost a yell, and the yellow light in his eyes flares brightly.]

 

And you've got to learn. You just have to, for your own good, before you all turn into twisted shadows of your own... fathers.

 

[He grins, a wide, manic grin.]

 

SO! That's why we're all here tonight! To strip away these senseless barriers you're building, and to Reveal. The. Truth! To spill every secret anyone in this worthless place has hoarded, and then, as our Grande Finale...

 

[One deep breath, then another, and he leans back, calm again, as the camera zooms in for a close-up on those glowing eyes and the amused twitch of his lips.]

 

I'll show you what a real secret looks like.

 
 
07 May 2011 @ 12:19 pm
OK SO FIRST OFF ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF WHO REPLIES TO THIS I'M GOING TO BAN

SECOND OFF, THIS MEMO IS NOT ABOUT THE PERSON WHO CAN MAKE THE MOST "WITTY" RETORTS AND TALK ABOUT HOW "USELESS" THIS WHOLE FUCKING MEMO THING IS ALREADY BECAUSE "YOU'RE NOT THE LEADER ANYMORE, KARKAT" OR WHATEVER THE FUCK STUPID SHIT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY, SO I INVITE YOU TO TAKE A BEAUTIFUL BAG OF HUMAN "FUCK OFF" AND PUT IT IN YOUR "TEA CUP" SO THAT IT MAY FOMENT AND YOU MAY "DRINK IT" LIKE YOU'RE DRINKING "COOL AID" IN THAT HUMAN TOWN I WATCHED A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT

BUT I GUESS IT WASN'T EVEN "COOL AID" IT WAS MORE LIKE FLAVOR ASSISTANCE? WHATEVER. THE PLACE WAS CALLED SOMETHING LIKE JOHN'S TOWN???? MAYBE??????

IF IT'S RIGHT NO FUCKING WONDER EVERYONE THERE WAS AN IDIOT AND DRANK IT

ANYWAY, THIS MEMO ISN'T ABOUT ANY OF THAT SO IF YOU'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT ALL OF THAT THEN FUCK OFF.

THIRDLY, NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY I CAN GET TO THE POINT.

FOURTHLY, BEFORE I GET TO THE MAIN POINT, WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE ENCOURAGING ERIDAN? WHAT A BUNCH OF IDIOT "SAPS" AS IN "SAP THAT FALLS FROM HUMAN TREES, EXCEPT IT DOESN'T FALL AT ALL BECAUSE IT MOVES IN SLOW MOTION LIKE THE WAY EVERYONE'S BRAIN MUST BE WORKING TO EVEN ENCOURAGE THAT GUY A LITTLE." I'LL EVEN MAKE AN ACRONYM FOR IT! S. A. P. S.: SUCH ATROCIOUS PERPETUAL STUPIDITY.

SERIOUSLY, STOP FUCKING TALKING TO THAT SHITHEAD.

OK FIFTHLY, MAIN POINT: WHAT THE FUCK. DISCUSS.

BY DISCUSS I MEAN ME, NOT YOU SO SHUT UP. AND ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO GIVE ME SHIT FOR THIS SAYING "YOU KNOW PCG/FCG HAS NO RELEVANCE HERE RIGHT."

OF COURSE I FUCKING KNOW THAT. THAT'S WHY I'M DOING THIS. NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP. BACK TO THE POINT: DISCUSS.

(ME. NOT YOU.)
 
 
29 April 2011 @ 03:25 pm
Right, you lot! It's done, and I don't want to hear any complaining! Loads of people put their names down and didn't turn in surveys, so don't blame me if you didn't get your first choice. Maybe next time you might want to think about asking them yourself!


Finnick Odair & ME
Tamaki Suou & Haruhi Fujioka
Katsura Kotaro & Souji Seta
Karkat Vantas & John ... Human Egbert
Victor Mancha & Minato Arisato
Akihiko Sanada & Karolina Dean
Kazuhiko Yukimi & Maya Amano
Yosuke Hanamura & Chie Satonaka


Questions? No? Good!! Congratulations, now have at it.
 
 
mood: fussy
 
 
30 March 2011 @ 10:21 pm
 
ah shit, where the hell is it

thought it was there...











hey, tenpa

gotta job for you. might pay you for it.
 
 
mood: seriously where the hell is it
 
 
16 March 2011 @ 11:06 pm
 
This isn't so bad.
 
 
11 March 2011 @ 09:55 pm
HOT OR NOT


just vote if these ppl are hot or not.



LOOKOUT THERES A NEW SET OF EYEBROWS IN TOWN

HOT OR NOT




SCARY BUT ALSO CUTE?

HOT OR NOT




UH IS THAT A FANG

HOT OR NOT




YOUNGER REDHAIRED BRITISH PERSON

HOT OR NOT




HE SAID HE WAS 18

HOT OR NOT




NO UGGOS IN SHOW BUSINESS

HOT OR NOT
 
 
Yukimi Kazuhiko
NORTH 301
New Moore City, New Moore
Ocean
Somewhere
Space?
 
 
08 March 2011 @ 01:46 pm
So, if what the doctors told me is true, then it stands to reason that everyone else here is in the same situation as me. It seems like an interesting place, at least. I plan to take a look around later today and see what there is to see. Hmm. Anyone know what the journalism scene is like here? If I'm going to be here for an extended period of time, I'll need a job, and that's what I'm best at!
 
 
28 February 2011 @ 11:50 pm
 
Yukimi.







The deadline for the seal story.... .... that was last month.
 
 
mood: disappointed
 
 
30 January 2011 @ 10:57 pm
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mood: [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[
 
 
17 January 2011 @ 08:01 pm
HEY, NEWS GUY.

Thanks for the article. I liked the coverage, and the fear you showed. Really covering your job, aren't you?

By the way, for who's watching: The name's Red Hood. Red Hood. Don't forget it.

Except that cute little bird here. Bet you've been looking for me, haven't you?
 
 
09 January 2011 @ 01:03 am
'Cause we're workin' backwards, in case you forgot.

I was gonna write "How To Not Randomly Kiss Some Strangers" and "What Baby Seals Ain't Interested In", but I spilled on that draft. Why not write it on a computer, you'd ask if you gave a shit. I'd answer 'cause it's easier to write out instead of type up and all the coffee got everywhere and it looks like this:




So you're gonna get this before my deadline:



HOW THE HELL AREN'T THESE PEOPLE ARRESTED YET
pretty damn suspicious people; do the police even work here?


We're gonna find out 'bout these suspicious people inna couple spaces, 'cause I can't figure out how to make the huge space go away. Gonna say I put it there on purpose.















Adds suspense.


















HERE WE'VE
GOT SUSPECTS

Name's Katsurapper or somethin'.
Every time you talk to this guy he doesn't make any fuckin' sense. Pretty sure he's got some weirdo training thing going on kinda like he's tryin' to form a cult or some kinda mob or shitty rap group or somethin'.

If this was anywhere normal this guy couldn't get permission to teach a room full'a fat guinea pigs.
So's anybody tried to do anything about this kid yet? You don't gotta kill him or anything. Ain't suggestin' that, 'cause I don't condone killing nobody. Killin' ain't really my thing, you get me? Haha, but seriously I think it'd be doin' everybody a favor if somebody checked this kid out and saved everybody a headache.

Kinda looks like a tumbleweed.


Oh yeah 'cause that's totally the face of the guy I want operating on me.
They call this guy a doctor. Know what? Looked into the hospitals here and they haven't heard of this guy. Last I checked, which was the last time I was in a fuckin' hospital before I ended up on this shitty equivalent of a five-year-old's drawing of a paradise island as opposed to a real paradise island, YOU'VE GOTTA BE LICENSED TO PRACTICE MEDICINE IN ORDER TO LEGALLY CALL YOURSELF A DOCTOR. How the hell is this even legal?!
Completely competent face of a guy who I'm gonna trust with my health.

Fuck that.

Dr. Quack Malpractice # 2

WHOA BACK UP WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON
I wasn't gonna say anything 'bout this guy, but I saw him down at the school. He waited 'til all the brats were out then went in. That part ain't suspicious, 'cause that's what I'd do. Asked 'bout him after he left. He's gonna be a teacher or something. Makes me nervous the way he was eying one'a those kids.

Makes me even more nervous the way he messes with cats. They really wanna guy like this teaching in a public school system?

Saw this same guy make a statue outta condiment packets.
So here's this guy who's probably behind all this shit and drug-related bullshit, but puts a front about it and the nature of the business changes every fucking time you walk by the shop. Ain't gonna name this guy, but I got it on good authority he kinda looks like this. If you know his name, I ain't stoppin' you from sayin' it. Employs all kinds of weird people too.

He's got a sister or somethin' like it, I dunno. Kinda creepy if you ask me. I mean if you're always hangin' around your sister. I love my sister and all that shit; I ain't afraid to say it. She's decent -- uh, I guess she's decent to everybody else, probably, 'cause she's kinda a hag to me sometimes -- and I like to spend time with her.

But uh, I definitely don't treat my sister like that. Don't think anybody treats their sister like that.

This asshole.

Blocked the face offa that kid to protect the innocent.
Dunno what's with this girl. She's cute and looks legal and like she'd probably be able to land a decent boyfriend, but she hangs around with her brother or whatever. That Chinese guy who runs the messed up drug operation or puppy operation or crate operation or whatever the fuck operation it is today.

Saw her imitating a cactus and makin' sound effects they ain't supposed to make.
So this guy's name is Hanna.






Yeah right. Like I'm gonna fuckin' believe that. Everybody knows that ain't a boy's name, so I'm gonna say that's probably a pseudonym and this guy's up to suspicious shit.


Only thing suspicious is him sayin' he's 24. Uh, other than that I guess he's all right.

Even he don't look like he believes it.

Her name's Hannah, if that kid screaming on the network's any indication.
More reasons why Hanna ain't a boy's name and that guy above this entry's up to suspicious shit.

I ain't gonna say anything 'bout her situation 'cause it ain't my place to say shit when I don't got any facts, but it's a damn shame there's a pretty lady like that who gets treated the way she does.
'Cause there's nothin' weird when you're triplets and still dressin' alike when you're over age ten.

These guys look like they talk a lot, but I haven't heard 'em. Dunno if it's a language barrier or what, but that Chinese guy talks to 'em like they're dogs. I think they listen, too.

The Bobbsey Triplets

Hey, any of you guys think this guy's actually... uh, you know what, never mind.
Speaking of dogs, I think this guy's the type of guy who has a blog about his dog.

Ain't really suspicious, but I'm kinda curious if anybody knows what's up with this kid.
Yeah, I get it. They like cosplaying countries. It's kinda weird, but ok. Ain't harming nobody. They like to be called by the countries' names. Still ain't harmin' nobody.

But they seriously expect the rest of us to buy that shit.


Uhhhh............
This kid creeps me out. Ain't just that he's a boy and got pictures taken of himself wearing his maid's outfit or does shit I ain't gonna talk about for that Chinese guy.

What's gettin' me is I'm pretty sure there's a book written 'bout this kid by a guy named Nabokov. Surprised he hasn't disappeared and turned up months later dead in the woods somewhere.
Don't feel like I gotta explain why he's suspicious more than this.

What's going on with his face?

Looks even more like a tumbleweed than that other kid. A curly one.
All looks aside, who the hell needs that many post-it notes? Pretty sure this guy has a label for every utensil in his kitchen. Bet he even keeps them in little Tupperware containers, all labeled for what they are even though they got individual labels on 'em.
Suspicious pink style. Spaces out all the time when you're talkin' to him. Never listens to a damn thing you say, like he's seein' some world other than you. CRASHES YOUR FUCKING CAR. Looks forward to beatin' up on guys who have one arm. Makes about as much sense as the first guy on this list.

I'd think this guy fakes stupid if I didn't know any better.


Feel like I should mention I had another guy to mention. Keeps popping up under every bit of sleuthing I do, like he's attached to everything. Get the impression there's this guy skulking around nobody knows about.

I put a name to him but one of the editors told me I had to erase it. Shocked the hell outta me 'cause it was obviously the only word they even paid attention to on this whole fuckin' page. Pretty sure they didn't read this.

I'm gonna keep quiet on it 'cause it sounds like that's the only thing that'd make them stop payin' me. I don't wanna end up teaching and there's nowhere else to pretend like I actually got a job on this island in freelance writing.

Journalistic integrity says I should put it out there anyway, but you know what? Nobody even fuckin' reads this, so I ain't saying shit.



written by Kazuhiko Yukimi
 
 
mood: irritated
 
 
23 December 2010 @ 01:00 pm
 
Sensei, sorry for the kiss.

I think our first mission as a clan should be to eliminate that disgusting thing outside. I think it's here to punish others, but I have more experience with that.
 
 
14 December 2010 @ 09:56 pm
 
FUCK THSI

WHY THE HELLDO SNOWBALLS KEEP COMIN THROUGH THE GODDAMN WINDOW

DONT EVEN REMEMBER OPENING IT
 
 
mood: FUCKIGN COLD
location: HELL FROZE OVER I GUESS
music: THE SOUND OF SNOW HITTING SHIT
 
 
04 December 2010 @ 08:55 pm
 
Ah..... I.....

That was a little odd. I didn't expect anything like that to happen in here.

Does anyone know why?

Private: Atsumi-chan )

Private: Teddie-san )
 
 
04 December 2010 @ 04:32 pm
WHY THE FUCK WAS EVERYONE BABIES
seriously some of it was just fuckin' gross



Early last Saturday a ton of people just turned into babies.

What the fuck was with that?

Not even just babies 'cause it'd be easier to deal with 'em if all they did was throw up on shit and pitch tantrums in the middle of stores. Some of 'em were nosy little teenagers who ran off fuck knows where and once you caught 'em kept askin' stupid questions and interruptin' me when I was tryin' to write a real article to put here so I didn't get any shit started until 20 minutes ago.

Pretty sure some kid turned into a puppy.

Scientists say jack shit 'cause I haven't met any yet

Now for the damn weather.

WEATHER OUTLOOK

Great now everybody knows there's gonna be the sun, some cloud having an epiphany, the sun, and black lightning with oil rain in the next four days, anybody else gonna step up and do this?

Why'm I the only guy who gets shouldered with the shit nobody wants to write. Nobody's even gonna notice I didn't put a question mark there. I've told 'em I didn't wanna write this shit and they put me up to it anyway probably 'cause I didn't wanna write it and they think they're a fucking riot. Same guy who probably used that fucking pious cloud icon seriously.

Nobody listens. Bet I'm not even gonna get fired for this shit and it's gonna get published anyway. Why'm I even bothering using punctuation? Oh yeah, I remember! It's 'cause of whatever journalistic integrity I have left even though I'm workin' for this company sellin' bullshit to a public that doesn't give a shit about any kinda real articles.

written by Kazuhiko Yukimi
 
 
28 November 2010 @ 10:31 pm
2.  
oh yeah nevermind bout that before anybody whos readin this
cause i got it all under control

dont need the help of some kid who looks like a black cloud of curls after all, cause when i woke up this morning first thing i thought was "shit, my life aint difficult enough and i got nothin better to do today so itd be great if something messed upd happen so i could spend the whole fuckin afternoon and night chasin some brat all over to make sure he doesnt screw somethin up"

its all fuckin fine

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED
 
 
28 November 2010 @ 07:27 pm
1.  
OI TENPA WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU

YOU BETTER NOT BE SEVEN YEARS OLD OR A TINY CURLY TUMBLEWEED OR SOME SHIT

CODE BLUE

PINK

WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANNA CALL IT

GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE
 
 
28 November 2010 @ 01:17 pm
 
If this is part of the school trip, I never got my permission slip signed. I'm really sorry to cause trouble, but if somebody has money for the train back..?
 
 
11 November 2010 @ 05:19 pm
oo1  
It seems we have new arrivals. Welcome, particularly you, students. I'm sure understanding your new state as non-entities must be hard, but you must accept it and submit to the will of our new overlords. PRAISE THEM!

As for me, you may call me Katsura-sensei. No other name shall do. We shall start instructions by doing an entry-level examination - please run around the school 50 times. I will be timing you. This also applies to old students who have refused to do this exam. It's very important!

[Katsura is a teacher. Feel free to decide if your character has or has not suffered through his idiocy already]