WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN WRITING HERE

[ihateyouetc]

OK SO FIRST OFF ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF WHO REPLIES TO THIS I'M GOING TO BAN

SECOND OFF, THIS MEMO IS NOT ABOUT THE PERSON WHO CAN MAKE THE MOST "WITTY" RETORTS AND TALK ABOUT HOW "USELESS" THIS WHOLE FUCKING MEMO THING IS ALREADY BECAUSE "YOU'RE NOT THE LEADER ANYMORE, KARKAT" OR WHATEVER THE FUCK STUPID SHIT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY, SO I INVITE YOU TO TAKE A BEAUTIFUL BAG OF HUMAN "FUCK OFF" AND PUT IT IN YOUR "TEA CUP" SO THAT IT MAY FOMENT AND YOU MAY "DRINK IT" LIKE YOU'RE DRINKING "COOL AID" IN THAT HUMAN TOWN I WATCHED A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT

BUT I GUESS IT WASN'T EVEN "COOL AID" IT WAS MORE LIKE FLAVOR ASSISTANCE? WHATEVER. THE PLACE WAS CALLED SOMETHING LIKE JOHN'S TOWN???? MAYBE??????

IF IT'S RIGHT NO FUCKING WONDER EVERYONE THERE WAS AN IDIOT AND DRANK IT

ANYWAY, THIS MEMO ISN'T ABOUT ANY OF THAT SO IF YOU'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT ALL OF THAT THEN FUCK OFF.

THIRDLY, NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY I CAN GET TO THE POINT.

FOURTHLY, BEFORE I GET TO THE MAIN POINT, WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE ENCOURAGING ERIDAN? WHAT A BUNCH OF IDIOT "SAPS" AS IN "SAP THAT FALLS FROM HUMAN TREES, EXCEPT IT DOESN'T FALL AT ALL BECAUSE IT MOVES IN SLOW MOTION LIKE THE WAY EVERYONE'S BRAIN MUST BE WORKING TO EVEN ENCOURAGE THAT GUY A LITTLE." I'LL EVEN MAKE AN ACRONYM FOR IT! S. A. P. S.: SUCH ATROCIOUS PERPETUAL STUPIDITY.

SERIOUSLY, STOP FUCKING TALKING TO THAT SHITHEAD.

OK FIFTHLY, MAIN POINT: WHAT THE FUCK. DISCUSS.

BY DISCUSS I MEAN ME, NOT YOU SO SHUT UP. AND ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO GIVE ME SHIT FOR THIS SAYING "YOU KNOW PCG/FCG HAS NO RELEVANCE HERE RIGHT."

OF COURSE I FUCKING KNOW THAT. THAT'S WHY I'M DOING THIS. NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP. BACK TO THE POINT: DISCUSS.

(ME. NOT YOU.)

Comments

[ihateyouetc]

SO I GUESS WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO OUT AT NIGHT NOW? WOW, BIG FUCKING DEAL.

(frozen comment)

[ihateyouetc]

ON ALTERNIA PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING COULD KILL YOU IF YOU EVEN LOOKED AT IT WRONG, SO I DON'T SEE WHAT THE ISSUE IS. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY BE LIKE THAT. IT'S NOT LIKE THE SOCIETY ITSELF WOULDN'T EVEN MARK YOU FOR BEING CULLED FOR THE STUPIDEST SHIT.

(frozen comment)

[turnedleft]

Hello! You're John's friend, aren't you? I'm Donna. I'm sure your planet has its own share of dangers that might this place look downright demure and all, but it's right serious enough that kids should stay safe, yeah?

[ihateyouetc]

LIKE REALLY, TAVROS??? I DON'T THINK THAT GUY HAD A CHANCE.

[ihateyouetc]

IN ONE WAY IT'S PRETTY LUCKY WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM.

[ihateyouetc]

WHAT THE FUCK AM I TALKING ABOUT?

[ihateyouetc]

WHO THE FUCK AM I? VRISKA? LUUUUUUUUCK??? o::::B

[ihateyouetc]

NOBODY BUT ME ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT WENT DOWN WITH GAMZEE I GUESS. WELL ERIDAN AND VRISKA APPARENTLY FIGURED IT OUT??? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WHAT THEY THOUGHT ABOUT IT. PROBABLY THAT HE WAS PLAYING A GAME OR SOMETHING BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T READ MY FUCKING MEMOS.

[ihateyouetc]

SO LET ME SET THE RECORD AS STRAIGHT AS IT CAN WITH ALL THESE FUCKING MORONS MUCKING UP THE STORY: NEPETA AND EQUIUS ARE DEAD.

[ihateyouetc]

I GOT THAT FROM ERIDAN WHO SAID GAMZEE WAS WEARING EQUIUS' GLASSES AND NEPETA'S HAT. AND I JUST WANT TO STATE FACTS FOR WHAT THEY ARE SINCE I'VE BEEN CHEWING ON THIS SINCE I LEARNED IT.

[ihateyouetc]

BECAUSE IT'S MY FUCKING FAULT.

(frozen comment)

[ihateyouetc]

AND I CAN'T EVEN APOLOGIZE TO THEM NOW. WHY DID I DO THAT TO THEM. WHAT THE FUCK IS MY PROBLEM? I MEAN I DIDN'T THINK EQUIUS WOULD TAKE NEPETA AND I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT NEPETA AND I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT

(frozen comment)

[riseup]

being a friendleader is hard, karkat, but it is even harder if you keep beating yourself up. i am not saying you should forget about everyone back home, but at least cut yourself a little break, ok?

i am done replying now!

[ihateyouetc]

WHAT A FUCKING FAILURE. I CAN'T EVEN BLAME PAST ME FOR THAT SINCE I'M THE FUCKING DUMBASS WHO DIDN'T EVEN KNOW UNTIL ERIDAN OF ALL FUCK-UPS TOLD ME. NEXT TOPIC.

(frozen comment)

[ihateyouetc]

MY REALLY GOOD FRIEND IS DEAD. FEFERI IS DEAD. KINDA DEAD. I MEAN SHE WAS DEAD WHEN ERIDAN KILLED HER.

(frozen comment)

[squidissension]

since you mentioned me below this im gonna assume you mean kan here and i keep tellin you that fuckin bitch is alivve and kickin nevver dead once wwell not cause of me at least

(frozen comment)

[ihateyouetc]

I GUESS ERIDAN DIED TOO? BUT WHO CARES ABOUT THAT DOUCHE.

(frozen comment)

[squidissension]

oh wwhat the fuck not you too this is pretty juvvenile just so youre fuckin awware

[ihateyouetc]

STATUS ON GAMZEE: DUBIOUSLY ALIVE.

[ihateyouetc]

STATUS ON ARADIA: STILL DEAD, BUT SHE'S BEEN DEAD FROM THE START SO BIG FUCKING SURPRISE.

[ihateyouetc]

I'M COMPLETELY NOT BLOWN AWAY BY THAT PARTICULAR STUNNING REVELATION.

[ihateyouetc]

SOLLUX IS OK LAST I KNEW AND TEREZI IS

[ihateyouetc]

DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT. NEXT.

[squidissension]

oh god you are not fuckin serious about ter

[ihateyouetc]

STATUS ON ME: SOMEHOW STILL ALIVE. HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN? DID I DIE AND I JUST DON'T REMEMBER IT? THE DETAILS ON WHAT I REMEMBER LAST ARE PRETTY FUZZY AND FRANKLY KIND OF FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

[ihateyouetc]

SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS, I DON'T THINK I WAS EVER SO TERRIFIED IN MY LIFE.

I MEAN YEAH JACK NOIR, PRETTY FUCKING SCARY, WHAT WITH HARLEY'S OMNIPOTENT MONSTER LUSUS WITH WINGS AND A SWORD STABBED THROUGH HIS ABDOMEN FLYING AROUND OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HE TURNED INTO, BUT I GUESS I KNEW JACK REALLY WELL IN OUR SESSION SO IT WASN'T *AS* SCARY?

[ihateyouetc]

I MEAN HE STABBED ME A LOT AND WE WERE COOL. HE WAS ACTUALLY GONNA KILL ME THAT ONE TIME WE FIRST MET BUT THEN HE DIDN'T.

[ihateyouetc]

THEN WE SHOOK OUR MUTUALLY MUTANT BLOODY HANDS AND WE WERE COOL FOR REAL THAT TIME AND GOT ALONG EVEN AFTER HE STABBED ME SEVERAL SUBSEQUENT TIMES. SO WHEN THE GUY COMPLETELY FLIPPED HIS SHIT I CAN'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

[ihateyouetc]

THAT'S JUST HOW HE IS.

[ihateyouetc]

I KNOW HE DIDN'T REALLY MEAN ANYTHING EVEN IF HE JUST KILLED ME ON PROSPIT BECAUSE THAT WAS HIS WAY OF SAYING HI AND HE'S A FUCKING MONSTER, SO THERE'S NO WAY HE COULD DO ANYTHING EXCEPT OBLITERATE ME, BUT WITH THAT HONKING HALFWIT I CAN'T EVEN SLEEP.