[ the video is pointed at what appears to be an elegant looking purple cat sitting in irene adler's lap, purring as she strokes it. to be honest, there couldn't be a better choice in terms of her companion.. they seem to suit each other. but what about all this fighting nonsense? she'd rather not participate, if she had a choice. ]

I woke up this morning and look what I suddenly had. Her name is Delilah. And any attempt to 'fight' or anything similarly crude will be declined, thank you. Isn't it barbaric to pit animals against each other? Especially ones so sentient.

[ you guys ought to be ashamed of yourselves. ]

That's not snow. It's ash.

It's a Volcano. And I can say that with complete certainty because I read up on eruption signs just in case Fuji-san ever woke back up.

So, since there's a volcano threatening to erupt can I be signed out early today?

[ At least he waited for recess this time. ]

WHAT: sweet, sweet nightmares.
WHO: natasha romanova & irene adler & YOU.
WHEN: between 2/27 and 3/1.
NOTE: each character will have a top level comment with their option for dreams. there may be further comments of dreams that are locked to certain players.
WARNINGS: triggering and content warnings for child abuse, torture and blood. will edit with any further warnings.

WHAT: dreams, not all of them fun
WHO: ukraine, sherlock holmes, and YOU
WHEN: whenever everyone is wandering around interrupting dreams like rude people
NOTE: ukraine only has the one dream, but any of sherlock's are up for grabs, and feel free to come up with an entirely different scenario for him at your leisure!

( UKRAINE )


( SHERLOCK )

[ the audio starts with Sherlock's voice in the middle of a sentence, clearly not intended to be recorded: ] -- absurdly boring. Statistically, everyone's too busy having sex or breaking up to commit any decent crimes.

[ but no, it's not just Sherlock sniping to be snotty. another voice fizzes over the line, less distinct, but still audible. ] Oh yeah? Which will you be doing? Though, judging by the wine...

[ sounding uncomfortable and irritated, like the only person allowed to make invasive observations about strangers is himself, ] What about the wine? it's not top shelf but it's serviceable for a perfectly ordinary dinner, there's nothing special to say about it. Just take the card and shut up.

[ the sound of an item being rung up flicker through the recording. cheekily, like the words are accompanied by a knowing smirk, ] Yeah, not TOP shelf, don't want to presume, right? But still good enough to look like you tried, if anyone wants to notice. I see a lot of that around this time, you know.

[ flatly: ] I really don't care.

Sure you don't want to grab another one? Or some chocolates, I bet that'll really surprise 'em. You don't seem the type to make that kinda gesture usually...

[ a pause. ]

Oh for God's -- Fine. That one. No, no cash back. Fantastic. I hope someone breaks something very expensive in a very difficult to clean shelf ten minutes before you close. Goodbye.

[ the tinkle of a door bell rings over the line, and from that point, there's only the sound of expensive loafers tapping against the sidewalk, and the occasional snippet of Sherlock berating himself under his breath: ] Bloody buggering -- the stupidest idea -- idiocy of it all, as if -- wouldn't notice if I hit him with the bottle --

[ text to John Watson, though not as private as one would hope for a text to be: ]

Cashier was strangely insistent on pushing chocolates on me as if they
were somehow more significant today than any other day. Hope you like
truffles, since I have no interest in them.

Italian?

How do you ordinarily celebrate Valentine's Day? Inquiring minds would like to know.

[ the next bit is intended to be private to a mr. sherlock holmes, but it goes very much awry and is public for all to see. not that they would understand the nuance. ]

Dinner?

Ms Adler. If you've experienced any particularly grievous injuries over the last couple of years before your arrival here, be prepared to deal with them again. Don't bother with the hospital, obviously, it'll be full of idiots coming in to cry about papercuts and old stove burns.

If not, it would perhaps be in Shinichi's best interest if you looked after him for the next few days. John is -- not well, and I don't -- ggnk --

[ there's a clatter, then the sound of violent choking for several seconds as well as a scratching, as if fingers were being scrabbled over the surface of the phone, until it disconnects and sends the audio. unfortunately (or fortunately?) for Sherlock, the buttons he unintentionally selected were for the public option. ]

I know that this is probably the absolute perfect time to be saying this... but for the next few days, possibly even longer depending on circumstances, Baker Street Surgery will be closed unless there's another doctor or healer who would like to take patients.

[ There's the sound of John straining a little. ]

I'm afraid that due to a.. rather debilitating injury in my shoulder.. I won't be able to perform any emergency medical procedures. If you need a signature for a prescription or advice on first aid, I'll be happy to provide, but I'm afraid my own medication will be keeping me home for the time being.

Please, everyone, be safe.

( Text to Sherlock Holmes )

Please.

[ the girl speaks so quietly, she almost isn't heard. but she's finally managed to figure out how to communicate with others like everyone else seems to be doing. she glances up at the camera and then back down at the doll in her arms, clutching it. ]

I don't know where I am. I need to be home. Father will be angry and .. I need to go home. I'm not supposed to stay out late, with strangers.

[ A young boy's voice comes in, and it sounds concerned. Panicked, even. ]

Hi, so, I'm looking for a small boy with dark hair and blue-green eyes. Answers to "Sherlock". Has anyone seen him? Please...?

I'm going to be in so much trouble if he gets too lost...

[ He tried to make this a text announcement but he found focusing on the little letters on this phone was proving to be far to difficult and he was far too tired. Audio then. ]

[ Sorry about the coughing. ]

I'm not going to school today. So someone should call me in.

[ And before it cuts off there's a very quiet- ]

おやすみ [ (Good Night) ]

In case you all needed any ideas what to get me for Christmas.