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Why does stuff like this keep happening to me.
We ain't married, bitch. We ain't even talkin' right now, not after that Pokemon shit.
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( thoughtformed ) WELCOME to the New Moore social network
30 May 2014 @ 01:22 pm
Why does stuff like this keep happening to me.
We ain't married, bitch. We ain't even talkin' right now, not after that Pokemon shit.
30 March 2014 @ 04:10 pm
[It seems whatever is messing with the island this time has not left Carol unaffected. She turns on the video feed and anyone on the other end is given a rather nice view of her new costume before it zooms in on her face.]
It seems like we're having a bit of a misunderstanding as of late, dear citizens of New Moore; so I'm going to make this as clear as I can for everyone: I'm going to go blow some shit up. If you don't want to get blown up, don't get in my way. Any questions?
It seems like we're having a bit of a misunderstanding as of late, dear citizens of New Moore; so I'm going to make this as clear as I can for everyone: I'm going to go blow some shit up. If you don't want to get blown up, don't get in my way. Any questions?
28 February 2014 @ 12:13 pm
WHO: Wayward Vagabond, Hiccup, Phil Coulson, Peter Pan, The Once-ler, R
WHAT: i've got dreams like you - no, really!
WHEN: whenever between Feb.27 - Mar.2 during sleepin' time. up to you.
NOTE: please just state which option/character you're going for and tag away. yoo it's technically a log even if you're spamming me. 5+ comments for your activity. this is a good idea guys.
WARNINGS: some dreams may take a turn for the worse depending on who it is / what happens.
[ OPTION A: CAN TOWN ]
( the mayor )
[ OPTION B: HOW TO DREAM A DRAGON ]
( hiccup )
[ OPTION C: IT'S A MAGICAL PLACE. ]
( coulson )
[ OPTION D: WHERE'S MY BACKUP CHORUS? ]
( the once-ler )
[ OPTION E: THE DEAD DON'T DREAM ]
( r )
[ OPTION F: COME WITH ME WHERE DREAMS ARE BORN AND TIME IS NEVER PLANNED ]
( peter pan )
WHAT: i've got dreams like you - no, really!
WHEN: whenever between Feb.27 - Mar.2 during sleepin' time. up to you.
NOTE: please just state which option/character you're going for and tag away. yoo it's technically a log even if you're spamming me. 5+ comments for your activity. this is a good idea guys.
WARNINGS: some dreams may take a turn for the worse depending on who it is / what happens.
[ OPTION A: CAN TOWN ]
( the mayor )
[ OPTION B: HOW TO DREAM A DRAGON ]
( hiccup )
[ OPTION C: IT'S A MAGICAL PLACE. ]
( coulson )
[ OPTION D: WHERE'S MY BACKUP CHORUS? ]
( the once-ler )
[ OPTION E: THE DEAD DON'T DREAM ]
( r )
[ OPTION F: COME WITH ME WHERE DREAMS ARE BORN AND TIME IS NEVER PLANNED ]
( peter pan )
06 February 2014 @ 11:15 am
the human tradition of valentine's day involves trying to please people you find attractive with confectioneries and dead flowers. the end.
now no more asking! it is ridiculous to not bother looking at prior posts on this! your questions are already answered because six people already asked the question! we do not need more than one post addressing your love of tiny edible hearts. YOU CAN STOP NOW. NOBODY CARES.
let us discuss the more wonderful matter this month brings us.
it is CANNED FOOD MONTH.
can town will be celebrating with daily parades.
now no more asking! it is ridiculous to not bother looking at prior posts on this! your questions are already answered because six people already asked the question! we do not need more than one post addressing your love of tiny edible hearts. YOU CAN STOP NOW. NOBODY CARES.
let us discuss the more wonderful matter this month brings us.
it is CANNED FOOD MONTH.
can town will be celebrating with daily parades.
09 January 2014 @ 02:05 am
This isn't what I typed! Why w9uld it insist 9n s9mething I didn't type? Rather, I did type 6ut that was after I put s9mething I had n9 intenti9n t9 retain after I realized it wasn't appr9priate and c9rrected my griev9us err9r. It didn't even pu6lish the right 9ne! What is the p9int 9f this functi9n if it imp9ses such imp9ssi6le c9nditi9ns and refuses t9 all9w y9u t9 express even y9ur f9rmer mishaps??? This s9rt 9f stricture is unaccepta6le. Wh9 d9 y9u talk t9 a69ut these things? I'd like t9 speak with them.
#6rief c9nversati9ns #Mistakes #N9 pr9tecti9n against unintended c9nsequences
#6rief c9nversati9ns #Mistakes #N9 pr9tecti9n against unintended c9nsequences
08 January 2014 @ 10:27 pm
[ Did someone call for another little gray girl?
Maybe the biggest change about Vriska is not that she's small, but visibly alive, with those bright yellow peepers of hers. ]
I found this thing. What's it doing here? Where am I? Am I talking to anyone? ... where's my lusus? I can't leave her alone. She needs me.
Where is this stupid place? The sun's different. Am I even still on Alternia?
Maybe the biggest change about Vriska is not that she's small, but visibly alive, with those bright yellow peepers of hers. ]
I found this thing. What's it doing here? Where am I? Am I talking to anyone? ... where's my lusus? I can't leave her alone. She needs me.
Where is this stupid place? The sun's different. Am I even still on Alternia?
Ok, I need the general population to listen up.
Will all romantically eligible men raise your hand.
And by raise your hand I mean respond to this post.
It would help if you also listed your age, any interests you may have, and a picture. But please, for fucks sake, resist taking pictures of your dicks.
I'm a tender, innocent minor.
Will all romantically eligible men raise your hand.
And by raise your hand I mean respond to this post.
It would help if you also listed your age, any interests you may have, and a picture. But please, for fucks sake, resist taking pictures of your dicks.
I'm a tender, innocent minor.
I know we've had some supply interruptions lately, but I believe this firefly is speaking Morse Code.
Also does anyone know what Morse Code is?
Also does anyone know what Morse Code is?
GUYS I MET A SPIDERMEN :O
pretty cool right?
hes mad cute too
i mean mask and all but still
what a qt and total gentleman too considerin we have like kissin diseases thanks to the mistletoe junk?? lol
um but yeah neways
he was a total gentlespiderman n walked me home last night bc i STILL dont have a license
do u know u have to take a test 1st?
also are u aware yieldin is like crazy important and also i am not so great at it whoopsss
but yes good news is i met a spidermen and hes stupid kyute
good timez
rosie are u still gonna come over 2day?
b advised theres smoochy plants fuckin everywhere and ectorelations r not even safe jsyk
( group text msg to homestuck cast )
pretty cool right?
hes mad cute too
i mean mask and all but still
what a qt and total gentleman too considerin we have like kissin diseases thanks to the mistletoe junk?? lol
um but yeah neways
he was a total gentlespiderman n walked me home last night bc i STILL dont have a license
do u know u have to take a test 1st?
also are u aware yieldin is like crazy important and also i am not so great at it whoopsss
but yes good news is i met a spidermen and hes stupid kyute
good timez
rosie are u still gonna come over 2day?
b advised theres smoochy plants fuckin everywhere and ectorelations r not even safe jsyk
( group text msg to homestuck cast )
my knowledge of human culture has indicated that there should be a parade.
it will be tomorrow morning at the traditional time of TOO EARLY.
there will be MASSIVE BALLOONS, MEANINGLESS BATON TWIRLING AND MARCHING, WAVING, SPONSORSHIP FROM COMMERCIAL ENTITIES, and SANTA.
vriska serket has been volunteered to participate.
it will be tomorrow morning at the traditional time of TOO EARLY.
there will be MASSIVE BALLOONS, MEANINGLESS BATON TWIRLING AND MARCHING, WAVING, SPONSORSHIP FROM COMMERCIAL ENTITIES, and SANTA.
vriska serket has been volunteered to participate.
Ok, at the risk of inviting some sort of ne8ulous cosmic and/or magic spiteful island wrath that may or may not have tentacles and 8e grim as fuck,
I am so fucking 8OOOOOOOORED.
And other than throwing Eridan off a 8uilding for kicks, I can't think of anything to do. ::::\
School is stupid, and parties are stupid, why was homecoming even a thing?
Ok, whatever. Point is, what is there to do right now that isn't stupid.
Hey, w8 a second.
According to the still super dum8 and always will 8e super dum8 human calendar d8, I've 8een here almost a whole year now.
What a weird anniversary to have.
I guess this is where I am supposed to say, "here's to another year of getting pulled kicking and screaming into a television, and stupid parties everyone gets invited to for some reason where the school guidance counselor always wins the popularity contest, and everyone gets turned into horri8le monsters sometimes, all while you mostly lose and only occasionally regain the people you actually give a shit a8out,"
8ut fuck that.
That said,
I guess I am fine with sticking around.
Oh.
I guess I should head this off 8efore it even starts.
No, Mayor. You can't throw a party for this. Or a parade. Or anything!
Or if there has to 8e a cele8ration, you are 8anned from running it. And that's final!
I am so fucking 8OOOOOOOORED.
And other than throwing Eridan off a 8uilding for kicks, I can't think of anything to do. ::::\
School is stupid, and parties are stupid, why was homecoming even a thing?
Ok, whatever. Point is, what is there to do right now that isn't stupid.
Hey, w8 a second.
According to the still super dum8 and always will 8e super dum8 human calendar d8, I've 8een here almost a whole year now.
What a weird anniversary to have.
I guess this is where I am supposed to say, "here's to another year of getting pulled kicking and screaming into a television, and stupid parties everyone gets invited to for some reason where the school guidance counselor always wins the popularity contest, and everyone gets turned into horri8le monsters sometimes, all while you mostly lose and only occasionally regain the people you actually give a shit a8out,"
8ut fuck that.
That said,
I guess I am fine with sticking around.
Oh.
I guess I should head this off 8efore it even starts.
No, Mayor. You can't throw a party for this. Or a parade. Or anything!
Or if there has to 8e a cele8ration, you are 8anned from running it. And that's final!
10 November 2013 @ 02:57 pm
SINCE I HAVE BEEN DECLARED MAYOR OF BALL TOWN, I HAVE LED EXCAVATION EXPEDITIONS INTO FINDING THE BOTTOM OF THE GREAT PIT WHICH HAVE LED TO AMAZING DISCOVERIES THAT WILL BE PUT IN THE NEWLY ERECTED BALL TOWN MUSEUM.
-ROTTEN FOOD. SCRATCH THAT THOSE ARE GONE NOW. MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED LIKE EVERY GREEN BALL TOWN CITIZEN.
- WE HAVE EMPTY WATER BOTTLES.
- SEVERAL MCDOLAN'S SMILEY MEAL TOYS.
- A RAZOR SCOOTER.
- RUSTY NAILS.
- A VHS TAPE LABELED 'HERBIE: FULLY LOADED'
- A FISH.
- TWO BICYCLE HORNS.
- A SQUEAKY BACON DOG TOY.
- A TREASURE CHEST.
- LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH.
- A TIRE.
- SOMEONE'S KEYS.
- SPADER-MAN ACTION FIGURE.
- URANIUM.
- A RED CAPE I WILL NOW WEAR AT ALL TIMES.
- A BAG OF BLUE ROCK CANDY.
- SEVERAL HUNDRED LEFT SHOES.
WE WILL CONTINUE OUR EXCAVATION AFTER A CEREMONY TO WELCOME OUR NEW SHOE CITIZENS.
-
- WE HAVE EMPTY WATER BOTTLES.
- SEVERAL MCDOLAN'S SMILEY MEAL TOYS.
- A RAZOR SCOOTER.
- RUSTY NAILS.
- A VHS TAPE LABELED 'HERBIE: FULLY LOADED'
- A FISH.
- TWO BICYCLE HORNS.
- A SQUEAKY BACON DOG TOY.
- A TREASURE CHEST.
- LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH.
- A TIRE.
- SOMEONE'S KEYS.
- SPADER-MAN ACTION FIGURE.
- URANIUM.
- A RED CAPE I WILL NOW WEAR AT ALL TIMES.
- A BAG OF BLUE ROCK CANDY.
- SEVERAL HUNDRED LEFT SHOES.
WE WILL CONTINUE OUR EXCAVATION AFTER A CEREMONY TO WELCOME OUR NEW SHOE CITIZENS.
02 November 2013 @ 06:15 pm
i'M mAkInG tHiS pOsT bEcAuSe
A bRoThEr GoTtA uNbUrDeN hIs ThOrAx Of AlL tHaT sHiT sOmEtImEs, LiKe,
tAkInG a DuMp oNlY tHiS sHiT iS fEeLiNgS oF bEiNg FrUsTrAtEd AnD hElLa PiSsEd WiTh ThEse "HuMaN rUlEs"
:o/ It TuRnS oUt ThAt ThEsE mOtHeRfUcKeRs
aIn'T bEiNg AlL sWeAtCaTcHeRs LiKe To PuT oN yOuR aRmPiTs Of A cLoThInG, sOrRy ViCtOr, EvEn ThOuGh ThEy WoRk ReAl FuCkInG bAlLeR
aNd, I'm NoT aLlOwEd To CaLl My JuNk "CuNtPlUnGeR"
eVeN iF nAtHaN sAyS i CaN :o(
sHiT's RoUgH, yO
A bRoThEr GoTtA uNbUrDeN hIs ThOrAx Of AlL tHaT sHiT sOmEtImEs, LiKe,
tAkInG a DuMp oNlY tHiS sHiT iS fEeLiNgS oF bEiNg FrUsTrAtEd AnD hElLa PiSsEd WiTh ThEse "HuMaN rUlEs"
:o/ It TuRnS oUt ThAt ThEsE mOtHeRfUcKeRs
aIn'T bEiNg AlL sWeAtCaTcHeRs LiKe To PuT oN yOuR aRmPiTs Of A cLoThInG, sOrRy ViCtOr, EvEn ThOuGh ThEy WoRk ReAl FuCkInG bAlLeR
aNd, I'm NoT aLlOwEd To CaLl My JuNk "CuNtPlUnGeR"
eVeN iF nAtHaN sAyS i CaN :o(
sHiT's RoUgH, yO
how jealous were u all about our sailor moon costumes
uhhhh a billion times yes
mutini made the cutest artemis!!!!!
now i have officially eaten too much candy 2 function
i may have taught myself like serious self discipline or whatevs
but not for the candytimez
i went into a candy coma
when i woke up
i still my sailor v mask on
oh ps anybody who bit my davey is gonna get fistful of void powers
i dunno what they do they
but theyre gonna do it to ur FACE
uhhhh a billion times yes
mutini made the cutest artemis!!!!!
now i have officially eaten too much candy 2 function
i may have taught myself like serious self discipline or whatevs
but not for the candytimez
i went into a candy coma
when i woke up
i still my sailor v mask on
oh ps anybody who bit my davey is gonna get fistful of void powers
i dunno what they do they
but theyre gonna do it to ur FACE
29 October 2013 @ 09:15 pm
this is dave striders guide to polite dining
one
please and thank you are your friends
your friends are also your friends
bear that in mind when you try to eat them
two
clean up after yourselves
believe me your meal is not gonna just wipe itself off when youre done so have a little civic decency please and byob
bring your own bandaids
the superhero ones work best thats a scientific fact
three
whoevers spreading the rumor that i passed out in gym class yesterday is a dirty fuckin liar and should be ashamed of themselves
that was a completely intentional premeditated nap
falling down was part of the plan
but if anyone could lend me a copy of their english and history notes id appreciate it
one
please and thank you are your friends
your friends are also your friends
bear that in mind when you try to eat them
two
clean up after yourselves
believe me your meal is not gonna just wipe itself off when youre done so have a little civic decency please and byob
bring your own bandaids
the superhero ones work best thats a scientific fact
three
whoevers spreading the rumor that i passed out in gym class yesterday is a dirty fuckin liar and should be ashamed of themselves
that was a completely intentional premeditated nap
falling down was part of the plan
but if anyone could lend me a copy of their english and history notes id appreciate it
20 October 2013 @ 08:59 pm
Maybe I'm a little more psychic than I let on.
Bring $10.00 and find out for yourself.
Cash only ;).
11 October 2013 @ 08:10 pm
[ The audio feed cuts in and remains silent for a moment, broken up only by a sniffle here and there. When Vivi finally speaks, it's a quiet, shaky voice. ]
I... I d-don't think I've ever had s-so many new homes in such a little time... I... Everyone keeps leaving, and I don't even get to know them.. U-um.. E-everyone... I'm sorry b-but.. Am I doing this? Am I the reason people leave the island...? I-I don't mean it, honest... I just want someplace to stay... I never meant to hurt anybody...
I... I d-don't think I've ever had s-so many new homes in such a little time... I... Everyone keeps leaving, and I don't even get to know them.. U-um.. E-everyone... I'm sorry b-but.. Am I doing this? Am I the reason people leave the island...? I-I don't mean it, honest... I just want someplace to stay... I never meant to hurt anybody...
29 September 2013 @ 02:36 pm
/!\ THIS POOR FUCKER NEEDS IT!!! /!\
WE, THE UNDERSIGNED, URGE THE GOVERNING POWERS AND RECORD KEEPING DEPARTMENTS OF NEW MOORE TO REJECT THE PRE-EXISTING NAME OF "PEETA MELLARK" WHICH IS THE NAME HE HAD WHEN HE FIRST ARRIVED HERE LIKE A SWEEP AGO, THE NAME HE CONTINUED TO HAVE WHEN HE REARRIVED AFTER THAT, AND THE NAME HE STILL HAS AFTER HE SHOWED UP A THIRD TIME. WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?? IT'S LIKE A JOKE NEW MOORE HAS BEEN PLAYING ON US SO WE SEE HIS NAME ON THE "RELEASE LIST" MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE'S RIGHT UP THERE WITH "JAKE ENGLISH."
NOW WHY SHOULD WE CHANGE THIS PERFECTLY SERVICEABLE COMPILATION OF LETTERS, YOU MIGHT THINK? WELL, I PROPOSE THE FACT DUE TO THE HONESTLY NOT THAT AWFUL TORMENT HUMAN WIGGLERS GO THROUGH DURING THEIR EXTRAORDINARILY INSUFFERABLE YEARS, A HUMAN HAVING A NAME LIKE "PEETA MELLARK" IS UNFORTUNATE AND HARMFUL NOT ONLY FOR A HUMAN WIGGLER'S GROWTH BUT FOR EVERYONE ELSE AROUND THEM.
TO SUPPORT MY CLAIMS, I PRESENT THE FOLLOWING STACKS OF EVIDENCE:
1. "MELLARK" TURNS INTO "LARK ELM" IF YOU DISASSEMBLE IT. WHAT THE FUCK IS A LARK ELM? IS IT A TREE MADE OUT OF LARKS? THAT'S FUCKED UP.
2. "PEETA" TURNS TO "PA TEE" AND "AT PEE" WHICH ARE EQUALLY STUPID. WHO EVER HEARD OF A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE TEE??? ONLY IF YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE WHO HAS A MOTHERFUCKING "GOLF BALL" FOR A HEAD!!! SERIOUSLY, YOU DON'T WANT THESE ASSOCIATIONS WITH YOUR NAME, BELIEVE ME.
3. "PEETA MELLARK" CAN TURN INTO "A TRAMPLE LEEK." WHO WANTS TO BE A TRAMPLED LEEK??? IMAGINE WHAT THAT COULD DO TO SOME POOR MOTHERFUCKER'S SELF ESTEEM!!!!!!
4. IT CAN ALSO TURN INTO "TAMALE ELK REP" WHICH SOUNDS LIKE A SHAMEFUL AND POOR PRODUCT TO BE PEDDLING. NO ONE WOULD BUY THAT. DO WE REALLY WANT TO DOOM HIM TO BAD LUCK WHILE HE HAS THIS "NEW LEASE" ON LIFE???
5. THEN THERE'S "KARMA PEE TELL." WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU TELL SOMEONE ABOUT THAT??? YOU WOULDN'T!!!!!!
6. "RETAKE LAP ELM" SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA IF YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF!
7. "LAKE MARE PELT" IS AN EXCELLENT NAME IF YOU WANT TO BE SKINNED ALIVE.
I COULD GO ON, BUT I BELIEVE A COMPARISON IS NECESSARY TO "DRIVE" THIS POINT TO THE 18TH HOLE, WHERE I CAN PROCEED TO "PUTT" IT "IN."
I DARE YOU TO MEASURE CARLOS AGAINST NOT CARLOS.
IT JUST CAN'T BE DONE!!!!!!!!!
AS YOU CAN SEE, THE SOCIAL BOONS FOR CHANGING HIS NAME ARE OVERWHELMINGLY EVIDENT. I PROPOSE THE NAME "CARLOS FUCKING AWESOME" OR EVEN "CARLOS SOLRAC" WHERE BOTH HIS "FIRST" AND "LAST" NAMES CONTAIN ALL THE LETTERS NECESSARY TO MAKE HIS IDENTITY PURE AND UNADULTERATED "CARLOS."
SIGNED,
KARKAT VANTAS
OR YOU CAN JUST WRITE YOUR NAME AND I'LL ACCEPT IT AS AN "ELECTRONIC SIGNATURE."
YOU'RE WELCOME, CARLOS.