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attn bloodsuckers

this is dave striders guide to polite dining

one
please and thank you are your friends
your friends are also your friends
bear that in mind when you try to eat them

two
clean up after yourselves
believe me your meal is not gonna just wipe itself off when youre done so have a little civic decency please and byob
bring your own bandaids
the superhero ones work best thats a scientific fact

three
whoevers spreading the rumor that i passed out in gym class yesterday is a dirty fuckin liar and should be ashamed of themselves
that was a completely intentional premeditated nap
falling down was part of the plan
but if anyone could lend me a copy of their english and history notes id appreciate it

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I think not biting your friends at all is preferable.

people gotta eat

Not on you they don't.

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callbacks - 2013-10-30 04:57 (UTC) - Expand

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tookthename - 2013-10-31 03:20 (UTC) - Expand

fainted like my little dudesel
like damsel
but w dudes

i didnt faint
do i look like a cockfighting pixel creature to you

im missin a key reference here

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callbacks - 2013-11-02 16:06 (UTC) - Expand

uh... you need any help? you kind of sound like you're in a situation

nah man im good
jesus a guy cant have a quiet lie down without everyone jumping on his head about it

not begrudging you your nap time, but i do still owe your for the coffee so just let me know when you want to cash out.

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callbacks - 2013-10-31 00:16 (UTC) - Expand

uh oh incoming feels

andagoodsoldier - 2013-10-31 00:19 (UTC) - Expand

it was bound to happen sooner or later

callbacks - 2013-10-31 00:26 (UTC) - Expand

yyyyyup

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DAVE!!!!!!!!

oh hey vriska can i borrow your english notes
yours are pretty good once you get past how they look like math notes

Are you out of your fucking mind?
What the hell do you think you're doing, Strider????????

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You Striders are THE WORST at anything vampire related, I swear to Seuss.
Dave stop letting people eat you.

its not like an open invitation to my jugular
i just think people should have some manners

If I was a vampire and didn't know you, I'd be like "wow maybe I should eat Dave. Everyone else is doing it!"

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RULE FOUR, FIVE, AND SIX:
GIVE YOUR FOOD JUICE LIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FOR ALL BLOOD DONATIONS.

yes
hell yes
apple juice can i demand apple juice

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... Do I need to fuck anybody up.
It kinda sounds like I should probably go fuck somebody up for this.

no fucking up necessary
im as fine as i am fine
all injuries to my dignity related to my subjection to the princess carry aside
dont hurt anybody

Oh no! Dave, have you been bitten? Are you all right? Did they kill you?

whoa hey its fine
im fine
when am i ever not fine you know im indestructible

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This is very important. Does she need to fly somewhere and get puppets?

librariansheart - 2013-10-31 00:08 (UTC) - Expand

no no no

callbacks - 2013-10-31 00:17 (UTC) - Expand

You sure? If you need a puppet nest, Dave, she will do her level best.

librariansheart - 2013-10-31 00:36 (UTC) - Expand

no hes very sure

callbacks - 2013-10-31 00:56 (UTC) - Expand

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I would send the class notes with your brother, but it would appear he didn't return after taking you home.

yeah
he got hella fussy about the whole thing
seriously i couldve gone back to class
or slept it off in the nurses office maybe

wait he didnt show up today either??

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I have bandaids.

what kind

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