attn bloodsuckers

[callbacks]

this is dave striders guide to polite dining

one
please and thank you are your friends
your friends are also your friends
bear that in mind when you try to eat them

two
clean up after yourselves
believe me your meal is not gonna just wipe itself off when youre done so have a little civic decency please and byob
bring your own bandaids
the superhero ones work best thats a scientific fact

three
whoevers spreading the rumor that i passed out in gym class yesterday is a dirty fuckin liar and should be ashamed of themselves
that was a completely intentional premeditated nap
falling down was part of the plan
but if anyone could lend me a copy of their english and history notes id appreciate it

Comments

You sure? If you need a puppet nest, Dave, she will do her level best.

[librariansheart]

Oh... Well... if you say so. You'll bring me the news when you come over, right? If he needs some raw meat too, I'm sure we can provide. Or hugs. I'm very good at hugs, actually.

no hes very sure

[callbacks]

i bet you are
and yeah of course ill keep you posted
i know you guys are friends
see you soon then

[Action]

[librariansheart]

[Talking to the Once-ler had been a complete failure and had left her restless and upset, so it was no hardship to give herself something to do while she waited. By the time her guest arrived she had two pies - one meat and vegetables, and one pecan - nearing completion, a large plate of cookies on the coffee table, and was considering the enormous slab of steak on her cutting board with a contemplative frown. Cooking it just seemed wasteful. All that blood ruined. But humans didn't tend to like raw meat, and meat cooked quickly. Maybe she should wait till he arrived.]