attn bloodsuckers

[callbacks]

this is dave striders guide to polite dining

one
please and thank you are your friends
your friends are also your friends
bear that in mind when you try to eat them

two
clean up after yourselves
believe me your meal is not gonna just wipe itself off when youre done so have a little civic decency please and byob
bring your own bandaids
the superhero ones work best thats a scientific fact

three
whoevers spreading the rumor that i passed out in gym class yesterday is a dirty fuckin liar and should be ashamed of themselves
that was a completely intentional premeditated nap
falling down was part of the plan
but if anyone could lend me a copy of their english and history notes id appreciate it

Comments

yyyyyup

[andagoodsoldier]

the only good thing i have to say about it is that i got a second chance to make things right.

oh, except then i woke up on this shitty dirt pile so.

[callbacks]

its not all bad here
at least not when you compare it to spending three years of your life stranded on a meteor with your sister and four aliens doing bumfuck nothing

[andagoodsoldier]

oh holy shit, how old did you say you were? please tell me you didn't hit puberty stranded on a rock with your sister and four angry gray people.

[callbacks]

i came here mid ride
lost a year from about thirteen and a half to fourteen to the cold indifference of the void
but ill be sixteen in december and i can safely say after that much research i prefer my current digs to the space rock

[andagoodsoldier]

well thank fuck for that.

and yeah, i can see why you're not climbing the walls to get out of here if that's where you escaped from.

[callbacks]

my world was basically pretty bullshit yeah
i think its one of those things you see a lot clearer in retrospect

[andagoodsoldier]

i dunno. the city i come from is like the devil's own hell on earth. it's a godforsaken, rotten, diseased piece of shit and everyone knows it.

and i want to get back to her so bad, you have no idea.