[The video opens to one (1) Rose Lalonde, sitting primly on what appears to be the carpet of a play area. Her jaw is tight and she stares the camera down in obvious annoyance.]

It seems I have been relocated.

[There's an ear-piercing shriek of laughter in the background, and a few toddlers dart on and back off camera. Her expression gets tighter.]

My erstwhile roommate has been 'released' into the wilds of actual reality, or whatever story it is that they feed us, which has left me in the position of evicted to a daycare center until such a time as a proper guardian can be procured. Apparently, essential godhood is not taken into account when discerning whether or not one can satisfactorily take care of oneself.

[A brightly-colored plastic ball, such as the kind found in ballpits, comes speeding out of nowhere. Rose catches it before it hits, with the same hand that still clutches one of her customary needles. Turning her hand palm-down, she opens her fingers. The needle falls; the ball does not.]

At least I have this truly astounding collection of Sweet Valley High novels to keep me sane.

[Or not. The ball finally unsticks itself from her hand with an unpleasant smack, and she grimaces.]

Hey! I think I got kidnapped or something. I dunno, I was gonna punch the jerks who told me in the face, but then they showed me where I get to stay, and I kindof got distracted by the idea of living in a Chuck'ee Cheese playhouse. I kindof worried about them touching my hats though. Hey-- you'd get distracted by it too! It's the second coolest house I've ever been in- the first one was the X-Men's house, but they had a pet unicorn so you can't really blame me! And like an entire fridge full of grape kool-aid!





So, who do I gotta throw through a wall here to get un-kidnapped?

[It's a video of a woman, and it's difficult to read her expression. She looks neither frustrated or amused. Her arms hang in front of her, the long bell sleeves pressed together. Her voice is clear, as if she rehearsed this before she recorded it.]

New Moore, correct? Well, it looks like "interesting" isn't the right word. I've gone through others, but I'm afraid that "coercive" and "opportunist" are the only ones that come to mind. I've read the posts of the others on this network, and it seems like my thoughts are shared by the rest of you. I don't have to say that I believe this "fake" idea is utter nonsense, I'd just be another voice in the choir. However, this "many worlds" theory...

My my, this little island would make a nice experiment, wouldn't it? We're all just cats in a box.

[She waves her hand in a vague gesture.]

Now, if you don't mind, I have a roommate to pick up from a ball pit.

Another 'hallucination' it would seem. Although the situation remains harmless, all those unaffected please remain calm. Any confused and "recent" arrivals to New Moore may use this post to make inquiries.

( At 12:00 sharp, every TV set on New Moore turns to the same channel. The setting: what appears to be a child's bedroom, its muddy brown walls plastered with posters of mythical creatures and one boy's fictional hero. In the center of the room sits the boy in question, Tavros, sorting out the mass of toys he used to leave scattered across the floor.

But tonight, Tavros seems a little... different. Not just because he has his own legs again, although that's the most obvious change; but instead of acting like the shy, bumbling troll that falls down stairs and gets stuck in doorways, tonight, Tavros has a whole new attitude. His movements are fast, deliberate, and a little agitated. He's muttering something under his breath without stammering even once.

When his arms are finally too full to carry anything else, he looks up. His face is set in a scowl, but every now and then he turns away to rub his eyes on his sleeve. After doing that twice, he finally seems to realize that he's being watched. )

This is stupid, isn't it?

I mean, look at it. I don't care if you have shit for blood, like me. No troll should live like a total loser.

( Tavros looks down at the mess he's gathered, then back up. )

How can you stand up to anyone when the only thing you're good at is playing kids' games by yourself?

( Back down again. He shifts the weight of his toys to one arm, then pulls a stuffed animal out with his free hand. )

I can be strong, too.

( Tavros throws the stuffed animal back to the floor, where it hits the ground with a loud smack. It sounds heavier than the average plush toy should. When it falls, it bursts open, swallowing the ground around it and eventually forming something of a black hole in the middle of his room. He dumps the rest of his toys into the hole, and it very slowly begins to expand. )

There's just something I have to do first.

Hahaha, motherfucker done got all the fuck tagged up and shit. This is wicked. Like, the megabitchtits, right now, going all the fuck on. I got to take off the bandages today, and it's all motherfucking chill there, so I figure it's all motherfucking cool to show this shit off, yeah? I feel like a reunited lover couple, all fucking up and happy to be seeing each other all the motherfuck again.

[ He grins, wide and fangy, at the camera and lifts his shirt up high. Nevermind the odd anatomy of his abdomen...

( This is now beautifully inked and colored on his chest. )

The skin around it is kinda purple still with healing, but it looks like he's actually been taking good care of it. Amazing. ]


Shit's awesome, yeah? I drew it myself and everything. Thanks for taking me along, bro! This was all up and motherfucking the best idea I've had in a long time!