please know that i am currently looking for an intern to assist me in rebuilding my media empire as it turns out the first one I built was imaginary and does not presently count. Other people would be angry about this but a true player enjoys a challenge.

I currently have no money (also imaginary) so I will not be able to pay, but I can reimburse you with years of business expertise and a guaranteed spot in my crew once such a crew is sustainable.

THINGS I CURRENTLY NEED:
a dvd copy of Braveheart (blu-ray ok)
a case of your most expensive gin (will reimburse when empire is restored)
a much larger television
a second phone so I can separate business from pleasure (very important, this business tip is on the house) (preferably the second phone is a different color as to keep track)
a case of your most expensive whiskey
a 2013 Cadillac Escalade (2014 model is too showy)

so anyway, I'm thinking of starting with a casino? (a classy establishment for high rollers, not a glitzed up $5 buffet nightmare where grandmothers get arthritis from video poker)

so those are the basic ideas for now. Hit me up if you want in on this exciting financial opportunity or you just want to knock back a couple cold ones

-ray-

Being a nurse, I get there are a ton of homeopathic methods that might be beneficial for getting a woman pregnant. I also get there are a lot more "natural" methods that won't do jack for helping put a baby in your belly, but will instead send you on some crazy acid journey like the super fun one I'm on now. Apparently.

Wait, can I say that without losing my job? Crap. Please don't let me be standing in the middle of the courtyard all tripped out saying this out loud. Kinda don't wanna be pregnant and unemployed, that's only cool for teens on MTV or whatever. I mean, not cool. For anybody.

The point is! I am going to ride out this fun little trip by the imaginary beach with my fictional self, and when I return to Earth, maybe have another discussion with Leslie about buying fertility "medicine" from guys who smell like Patchouli.

edit; Guy, I hate to say it.. But I think we've been Jammed.