The network is an interesting place today, though some secrets appear to be more harmful than others. For those who can help themselves, it might be best to keep to yourselves for awhile, if you're not already.

To my students, remember to do your reading this weekend. If this lasts through until Monday, you won't be able to get away with telling me you have if you haven't.


[Private Text to Regina Mills]
I would say this seems like your handiwork, but I don't think people feeling compelled to tell the truth sounds like it would fall in line with your interests.

[Private Text to Alisha Bailey]
You left your video post unlocked. If you need to talk about anything at all, I'm in the apartment this evening. It sounds like you have a lot on your mind. I'm a good listener, I promise.

Heeelllo~ Did you see what The Doctor gave me? Because it's the greatest thing ever, okay? It's so big and warm and- [ he's waving an end of this thing at the camera with a stupidly happy grin on his face ]

...Wait, I had a purpose to this post. EHEM. Right! So. How was your Christmas? Was it amazing? Mine was amazing. The greatest I ever had, even! I hope all your hearts grew two sizes.

You know what you all need? To give yourself a wonderful post-Christmas gift, and to start the New Year off right: Big scarf things too! But not just any big scarf things. You need thneeds. What is a thneed? Well, dear New Moore, if you haven't already had the joy of finding out previously-- let me enlighten you!

Ta~da~da~daaaaa: [ what is he holding up now? it's that ridiculously fluffy pink thing he has that's design doesn't seem to make any sense at all. guys we're in seuss territory. buckle your seatbelts there's going to be a rhyming musical number while he twists and turns that thing into pink-fluffy versions of others things. you all saw this coming. ]

This thing is a thneed. A thneed's a fine-something-that-all-people-need!
It's a shirt. It's a sock. It's a glove, It's a hat.
But it has other uses. Oh yes, far beyond that!
There's about a million bajillion uses or so-
So listen carefully to some so you know!
It puts out campfires, it wards of vampires
But not Conrad.
It bends into shapes, makes fancy drapes!
For this season it can be a sweater!
Next season a shirt, skirt-- fits any weather.
Use it as a sled to slide down that hill
Eat it as a soup, make a giant windmill!
Big snowball shooter ~ Seat for your scooter!
Runny nose wiper or reusable diaper
It's reversible and versatile.
Washable and responsible!
Completely collapsible! WiFi Compatible!
Don't need a large, medium, or small.
It's uniquely designed for a true one-size-fits-all.
Also the smell is wonderfully sweet
And it comes in 84 colors- isn't that neat?
You might need one. Oh you definitely do.
Only 3.98, buy one-- Heck by two!

Ehem.. [ and then he lowers his voice and quickly states the following: ]
Thneeds are all natural, made of one-hundred-and-ten-percent truffula tuft and humanely collected from the trees using a giant comb with previous permission from not one but two forest guardians. All seeds that wind up in my hands in the process will be carefully kept for emergency situations unless requested. All fruit that winds up in my hands will be used to make delicious pancake breakfasts which can be purchased during the mornings at Piece-A Pizza for 7.37-- open 9am. Ask about the jumbo pizza while you're there. 10% of profit goes to charity. No animals were harmed in the making of this song.

Golly, there's so many new people I ain't had a chance to say hello to them, so... hello! I'm Kaylee, and if you got anything mechanical I'm just the girl to fix it. Otherwise, I'll happily cook for you. I love meeting new people and hearing their stories and... well, it just makes me so happy.

I am from the year 2500 or so, though, so please pardon me if'n I sometimes forget that not all of you are used to traveling in space and all. I love ships and engines and could talk about them all day long if you let me.

-Kaylee ♥

Text message to Shepard

I ain't given you your Christmas present yet. Got a good time I can come over so's you can cash it in? ♥

Merry Christmas, everyone! It sounds like snow isn't exactly normal around here this time of year, but there's something to be said for a white Christmas, and I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday and spending it with their loved ones here on the island.

In addition, after the holidays, it looks like I'll be seeing everyone at the high school on a daily basis. For those I haven't met yet, I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Miss Blanchard, and I'll be teaching Language Arts from now on. I look forward to getting to know you all better, and I'll see you in class!

I made six dozen cookies.

I'm down to two.

I wish I could say that being whisked away to some new place was new territory for me, but unfortunately, that's not the case. While I remain skeptical of most of what I was told at the hospital, being taken from my own world isn't as hard to swallow as it once might have been. For the moment, I'm just thankful that I at least know who I am.

If there's anything anyone feels a new arrival should know about this place, things they don't tell you at the hospital, I would greatly appreciate it.