Well that was mildly invigorating. An excellent step forward in upping the liveliness of this island. If you can not bring the people to the city crime, bring the city crime to the people.

[High security text to Aziraphale]

Check.

Crowley, I think I need a drink. Are there any good cafes or restaurants who would object to us bringing our own vintage?

That said, I think that I am emerging from my depression. I suppose it is a wonder that I can be depressed at all, even, but nevertheless, I should want it on the record that yes, I can be depressed. Why, might you ask? Might you ask at all?

I had books, dear reader. So many books that they climbed to the ceiling like ivy. I did not care for the maps that I sold, only for the books, of which there were plenty. I recall my collection in actual 1704, and it was much more impressive, but this was still rather remarkable. I was confused with the addition of maps and topography, but it was the books... oh the books. It makes what little collection that I do have seem so meager in comparison.

I need more.

Miss Sheska, I believe that I need you now more than ever. Those books which you have described to me. Have you, by any chance, finished your transcribing, my dear?

We should do that more often. The parrots were an interesting adaptation, but the rest of it was actually quite entertaining.

The island seems a bit... noisy. With small, sticky fingered individuals.

[Private: Aziraphale]
So. All this noise? Not actually my side. For the record.

What are all these silly buggers at?

Oh what a lovely day this has been. I've just received a wonderful gift of books that I thought would be lost to me forever. Oh, happy day! I've only just finished re-reading my favourite Wilde novel, and have already locked it away in a safe environment with the other book that was found for me. So imagine my surprise when I happen upon another set of books in my flat. Unfamiliar to me, however. They appear to be encyclopedias of some sort, of some far off fantasy land. Wonderful read, I must say, very curious. They contain some fascinating articles that would be marvelous for a story of some kind.

Philosopher's stones and alchemy, and the thrilling war of Ishval. I've been reading it for hours, though I don't believe these books are mine. I apologise to whomever these lovely things belong to, but if you don't mind, I should like to read a little more before returning them

This island isn't that bad at all.

My psychotic roommate has vanished and today, walking down the street, I found my gorgeous baby waiting for me, as though we were back in England.



I also found something else in my roommate's place. Aziraphale. You may want to come have a look.

I'm pleased to see that nightly monstrous terrors aren't entirely normal, here. There could be nicer ways to welcome someone to town. But the stipend was unexpected, and I'm very grateful for that! I don't suppose anyone knows of any job positions open right now? I'll have to write up a resume.

I was just hoping that someone might be able to direct me to the local library? Or a bookstore, at least. My collection got left behind, it seems, when I was pulled here, and my room feels very naked without any books. I was hoping to change that?

I deeply regret to inform... whoever it is that has my...acquaintance bound that I'm unfortunately going to need him back.

You see, he's done nothing wrong and does not deserve, shall we say, being bound to a chair under threat of spraybottle. That is just cruel and unusual and I'm afraid I can't have that.

So if you would kindly release him, I shall be most grateful to you. Perhaps I might be able to offer something in exchange for his release, yes? I do believe that you are a reasonable chap, and believe that some common ground may be able to be reached between us.

Thank you.

[So, someone has finally managed to nab their phone back.]

Someone get these nutters off me. My roommate's taken me hostage. Doesn't anyone bother checking on new recruits? I've been tied to this bloody chair for weeks. Hello?

[Private - Aziraphale]
Az? Bloody hell, Angel. I know you're here. One of your feathery friends has turned into a daft nutter. Get him off me.

It truly is a travesty when one steps into a home devoid of not just literature, but books in general. Now amplify that horror times ten thousand, and you might have a small idea of the feeling that awaited me when I stepped into what passes for a library here. What in the world could possess a library to not even carry the classics? How can it even call itself a library? It’s disgusting and disgraceful, and it breaks my heart that I cannot retrieve my own collection.

Oh Lord.

I haven’t got my book collection. Not a single one. I… I don’t know what to do with myself. Not a single copy of Wilde, or Dante… No bibles either. How do you natives handle such emptiness?

Nevermind the nonsense those silly people had told me at the office, this is an actual emergency!

It would appear that I have been grounded.

Ah, this is so exciting! To think that I might have been part of some great story, and I didn't even know it! I wonder what kind of story it was... I certainly wouldn't have been a main character... Nothing that exciting happens to be. Not really. I mean, there were a few things, but they mostly happened to other people.

But what if I was just in the beginning of my story? The young heroine before she took up adventuring? Ah~! I don't know how well I'd do, but I wish I had found out!

But really, if this is the real world, I should find the library right away and start reading up on its history!

Oh, now really, this is much more like it! Finally, when I ask for a decent fishing spot, I get one! It's taken long enough, I must say. Not a place I've been to before, which is saying something. I'll have to have a look 'round after!

Now, where's the best fishing spot?

Books.

Not. A single. One.

Anything beyond reference is so scarce, so rare... What sort of place is this that it has no books? No novels to enrich the mind?

Not even a bible.

Oh Lord grant me mercy.

Someone mind thinking my car back into existence?