[a young pretty lady running around like a nincompoop, attempting furiously to strain her face probably wouldn't be the least-normal sight to behold this friday morning.]

Ok! Alright; I'm taking a wild guess in saying --  this ain't my body. I remember talking to them -- er, me -- er, her -- once, but I don't remember their name? Anybody wanna help me out here...? 

Man, this body-switching thing shouldn't weird me out... but I'm a girl now. Girls are confusing and stuff! It was hard enough talking to the princess...

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Whoever is pulling this elaborate prank, come out and give up so I can break your knees already! I’m not gonna fall for your shit, okay?! Waking up in a hospital is one thing, but being told lies that don't make sense is something else completely and it's not funny!

[The slight look of hysteria on his face says otherwise. He’s obviously already fallen for it, and worried about it. Still angry and trying to keep up the threatening façade, though.]

I just wanna go home, to my house, with my stupid brother and his stupid food! Wait, no, the food’s not stupid.

Shit, now I’m hungry!

Dammit, where do you people eat here?

I have to eat before I do anything too strenuous like fighting my way back home.

[Obviously food is an important goal; one has to be in their top strength before hypothetically clawing their way tooth and nail to freedom. Actually, who does he even go to to get home? Does this island even have an airport... This is essentially him freaking out and ranting uselessly.]

Man, this is cool! And creepy.

Guess what guys? I'm a werewolf, here to eat your house people. Be very. Very afraid. Rawr!

[The woman who calls herself Qing Ji waves her hand vaguely in front of a few tacky florescent signs placed in a strip mall window. One says "kung fu" in vertical neon lettering. As if the next one couldn't be worse, it does. The next one is just as bright, and almost blindingly ugly. She looks, somehow, less amused even though there's not much to compare it to. Above the concrete pillars is lettering in a basic sans serifed letter face that says "Martial Arts" written in red.

Through the windows, a large mural of a dragon that's painted in various hues of greens and blues. A handful of exotic plants are in the windows, obscuring the view of the very basic gym mats set all over the floor. It doesn't look very fancy. Oh well.]

It's as it says.

[She brings joins her hands in front of her, beneath her sleeves.]

Whoever wants to join is welcome, intermediate to advanced. If you have experience, I'd like to gauge your abilities myself. Please come by and I'll see what you can do.

Hey! I think I got kidnapped or something. I dunno, I was gonna punch the jerks who told me in the face, but then they showed me where I get to stay, and I kindof got distracted by the idea of living in a Chuck'ee Cheese playhouse. I kindof worried about them touching my hats though. Hey-- you'd get distracted by it too! It's the second coolest house I've ever been in- the first one was the X-Men's house, but they had a pet unicorn so you can't really blame me! And like an entire fridge full of grape kool-aid!





So, who do I gotta throw through a wall here to get un-kidnapped?

[Cue a young boy about 13 pacing back and forth along the beach. He's got a white hat on and a green backpack on his shoulders, but what's most notable about this kid is the look on his face.]

Uh.

[He notices the video on and tries to mask his face with a grin. LIGHT BREATHS, LIGHT BREATHS. JUST IMAGINE SOME NICE WATER FLOWING. YOU'RE NOW ON AN ISLAND AND SOME CUTE LITTLE BIRDS ARE FLYING AROUND AND THERE'S THE OCEA-- AHHH]

Ok. So I'm like totally not panicking. Nope.

[He closes his eyes hard, as if this would all go away if he did. He opens them after a moment, shaking his head a couple of times in an attempt to calm down.]

I'm just, uh, really excited! [Loud cough.] Haha, yeah. It's been wicked cool being a fictional character! M-Mathematical!

Also, classes? Huh? Where's South 101? Can someone fill in my brain-nodes on any of that?

Do you think 'some sort of skeleton thing ripped my homework in half' would work as an excuse for a paper being late?

Note to self: next time, print it earlier and don't carry it in your hand when you're running to class.