[The feed blinks on, staring at a strange ceiling. A few moments later, a kitten... a kitten wearing a bowtie, actually, looks down at the camera, managing to look both intrigued and disgruntled. It gives a soft mew, shakes its head, and then... it speaks. English, somehow - though it's in a high, squeaky voice.] This is new, never been a kitten before! It's not as bad as it might have been. Mind you, doors are a problem. They're so... tall.

And it's not like I can carry the sonic or the phone with me, so there might be a problem there too. Fascinating experience, though! I just wish it had happened somewhere I could actually get out... [He looks off screen, and his eyes widen a moment. He seems to forget what he had been doing, and pounces at something off-screen. After a moment, the feed cuts out.]

Soo... we're going with 'multi-verse theory isn't a theory,' right? Okay. We established that. And normally I'd be thinking that's pretty much the coolest thing I have ever heard ever because people I would want to meet seem to be in one location... except Einstein and the guy that invented poptarts.

But let's say you were kind of a private guy (Like Batman--but I'm not Batman or anywhere near that. This is an example) and you're fictional somewhere else and the person's a huge fan... Does that person know your entire life and there's nothing you can do about it?

Like you'd know where I go to school and the name of every family member and who your crush is and the combination to my locker and where your secret lair is and your allergy to peanuts and other things you probably wouldn't be uncomfortable with a total stranger knowing?

Is anyone else getting freaked out by how meta this is or is it just me?

 I've got one question.  Just one.  Very important.  Critical, in fact.

...Is Harry Potter here?

So, yeah, it's real cool to see so many lameoids wandering around. I haven't seen this many human people in a long, long time. I'm talking long. But more importantly, I've forgotten how kinda boring everything used to be. It's making me want to be back home, where at least I've got my bass and my stuff.

On the plus side, I think we can make this fun.

But first thing's first. I'm pretty hungry. Anyone know where a girl can get a bite to eat?

[The first sound is of someone clearing his throat -- and it comes from every smartphone on the island as they all switch on.]

Mass broadcast function, okay, here goes. Good phone design, by the way, very intuitive. Especially the overrides.

[The volume scales up for a moment, until it echoes off building faces.]

If I could have everybody's attention for just a minute -

[Volume back to normal.]

Why is there a big building in the middle of town with my name on it? Usually I sign papers for those. Maybe draw up plans... the point is, I should have heard about it, and I didn't. Where am I now, Hong Kong? This looks like Lantau Island. Lantau Island? Everybody from Lantau Island, hands in the air.

Okay, now put your hands down and let me know where I am. I can't see you, I'm broadcasting.

Who: Vanitas and Harry Potter.
What: Roommies :').
When: 6/23
Where: East 403.
Warnings: None!

( I've run out of clever song lyrics. )

I'll have you all know that it isn't as if I brought Throgmorten here. I didn't even know he was here until that terrifying woman came to my door with him. He's not a demon, either. He's an Asheth temple cat. And he belonged to Millie first.

Anyway, there's obviously no lion on this island. I don't know why you all apparently thought there was — Throgmorten is big and ginger, but not that big.

Just don't get too close if you see him or he might scratch you. I asked him to try and be friendly, but I would prefer to not be scolded again for something I can't control.




He is a good cat, really. Deep down, I mean. He's just a bit of a bully sometimes.

"So please do your best to acclimate yourself to this reality as quickly as possible."

Okay, look. This is all well and good for…whatever it is they're trying to do, but I really, really don't have time for this. [It's okay, Harry, we know you're inwardly freaking out about waking up suddenly absolutely not dead. There is a reason that he's keeping the video off for now.] I suppose they don't care about that, do they?

Right. Anyway, here's my question. Is there anyone who actually thought they were fictional before arriving here, or are we just believing what we've been told since there's nothing else to go off of? Because no offense, but the last seventeen years of my life have been a bit too chaotic to be anything but real. I can't imagine why anyone would want to fictionalize my life in the first place. Also, fictional or not, can anyone tell me what happens to our lives back where we came from? Do they just stop existing? It's really important that I get an answer.

...er. I think that's all for now. Thanks.

[There is audio before the video appears: an obnoxious squawking voice that is mostly indistinct, but keeps repeating something about the spreading cases of lunar fever.

When the video finally does turn on, Harry can be seen fumbling with his device before finally setting it down. There is a bright crimson coloured parrot perched on his shoulder.]

I tried to catch an owl in the forest. I've never trained one myself, but I figured it wouldn't be very hard...

[Whether the scratches on his face are from the owl he tried to catch, or the parrot... well, we will leave that up to you to decide.]

Er.. it didn't work out.... This thing followed me home instead.

[He reaches up to scritch at its feathers and gets a nip on the hand for his efforts. Then, no matter how he tries to shoo it away, it clings to him and goes back to squawking.]

Sirius Black signed my boob.

[Nodding as she sports a massive grin.]

Seriously. Sirius Mother-Faeking Black.

[Pointing to herself.]

I can now die happy.

[She pauses for a second, still grinning, shaking her head as if she can't believe her luck.]

Best - Kidnapping - Ever.

While these devices may be a more efficient means of communication than magic, and nowhere near as messy as firetalking has the potential to be, there are inherent flaws in their design. They are far too small, for one, and lend themselves to being easily misplaced. I suppose it will have its uses, which is more than can be said for most Muggle devices, but if not for the distinct lack of owls, I would not be so resigned to let it replace the perfectly respectable practice of letter-writing.

That said, the sheer amount of idiocy beyond the doors of that Muggle hospital is absolutely baffling. Never in my life have I heard such a ridiculous tale, which is quite a feat when one considers the many desperate lies told by Death Eaters when presented with anything resembling consequence. I have little tolerance for foolishness and will not be treated as either an invalid or an imbecile they assume is eager to believe stories that are clearly meant for children.

Writing on this fool thing is an exercise in tedium and a miserable excuse for communication, I might add. Quill and parchment would have been much quicker.

I have no idea what's going on. This all seems like rubbish, and I need to go home... but I can't seem to get back on my own. There's something preventing me from.. ah. Leaving.

[There is a pause as he glances about at the people coming and going along the street outside the hospital. None of them seem to be paying him any mind. Since he normally can't go out without being recognised, he assumes he is in a Muggle city.]

The people I spoke to told me I've been enrolled in public school, and that I'll be assigned a roommate in a flat somewhere. [He makes an exasperated sort of sound.] I'm sorry, I don't have time for any of this.