[Audio]

[sincenewyork]

[The first sound is of someone clearing his throat -- and it comes from every smartphone on the island as they all switch on.]

Mass broadcast function, okay, here goes. Good phone design, by the way, very intuitive. Especially the overrides.

[The volume scales up for a moment, until it echoes off building faces.]

If I could have everybody's attention for just a minute -

[Volume back to normal.]

Why is there a big building in the middle of town with my name on it? Usually I sign papers for those. Maybe draw up plans... the point is, I should have heard about it, and I didn't. Where am I now, Hong Kong? This looks like Lantau Island. Lantau Island? Everybody from Lantau Island, hands in the air.

Okay, now put your hands down and let me know where I am. I can't see you, I'm broadcasting.

Comments

[thatboyisamonster]

Why are you here. Go away.

[sincenewyork]

Well, if it isn't Severus Snape. Is your brother still mad about the thing I did with the fridge? Is this Asgardian prison?

If so, dibs on the top bunk.

[bowsbeforehoes]

Dude.

New Moore. Yes, that one.

[sincenewyork]

I don't mean to contradict you, Robin Hood, but New Moore is a sandbar. It's not big enough to hold a decent beach party on.

[veryproud]

The sandbar, Mister Stark.

[sincenewyork]

Is this sandbar in the middle of a famous Greek river? Did I black out while test-driving the Mark 39?

Or, more likely, is this just Performance Problems having fun with me?

1/4

[librariansheart]

2/4

[librariansheart]

3/4

[librariansheart]

[Video]

[librariansheart]

M-Mister Stark?! You're back!

[hammerhappy]

Stark.

[sincenewyork]

Hair Metal. You shaved.

[badnewsboy]

[this is texting Thor from next to Thor.]

You're catching on! Soon you'll be wandering through the highway of information, with a variety of memes, feline still imagery, and ... er, well, don't look at the rest of it.

[razorback]

Are you Tony Stark? You kinda sound like Tony Stark.

Man, I really hope you're Tony Stark.

[sincenewyork]

It's just a trick. I do work for Mister Stark, though. I'm his body double. I handle autographs and groupies.

[hypertoxic]

You!
W8, the wrong you. You don't remem8er 8eing here.
::::\
Laaaaaaaame.

[sincenewyork]

Could you narrow it down a bit? I've forgotten at least one island for every Spring Break since 1995.

[totesadorbz]

Ok idc that ur not RDJ bc tony stark is just as smexy

[sincenewyork]

ik, r

[unfadingdragon]

What's a broadcasting?

[sincenewyork]

I'm sorry, you're clearly beyond my help.

Apparently, I could not resist, after all. It's the volume spike that did it.

[takingouttrash]

Tony!

YAY (canon point for me: just before IM3)

[sincenewyork]

Did you dissolve my company?

[everythingspandex]

Oh my god, it's Tony Stark.

[everythingspandex]

[ OH MY GOD THE VIDEO WAS ON. ABORT. ABORT.

who dropped a phone? peter dropped a phone. TURN OFF TURN OFF- ]

[unmasking]

Long time no see!

[sincenewyork]

Must be. So long I've forgotten it completely.

[Video]

[tookthename]

[That voice is unmistakable and Carol is in the air faster than she van get the video function on.]

Thank god you're back, Tony. Please tell me you know who I am.

[Video]

[sincenewyork]

You'd be surprised how often I hear that.

Sorry, looks like I'm from the franchise reboot. Younger, handsomer, totally unfamiliar with later spinoff characters.

[swordhappy]

[He doesn't look quite right, in some way. But she only knows one person who talks like that...or who would have their name on a building.]

...Stark?

[sincenewyork]

That's me.

Should I be remembering you? Because I'm terrible. I have testimonials to that effect, actually, if you need them. Bad with names, bad with faces, although if there are other bits I should remember, I might, although I certainly won't admit to anything which might result in legal liability.

[seeked]

Are you sure you don't remember putting it there anyway? [Because even if this guy's been here before wouldn't it make some sense to sort of remember building a giant building? This island's stupid. Everything about this makes absolutely no sense.]

[sincenewyork]

Pretty sure. Hey, anybody ever tell you you look like Harry Potter?

[getoffmyearth]

Stark? What the hell are you doing out here on this flarking rock?

[sincenewyork]

Apparently missing my debut on Battlestar Galactica.