[Audio]

[sincenewyork]

[The first sound is of someone clearing his throat -- and it comes from every smartphone on the island as they all switch on.]

Mass broadcast function, okay, here goes. Good phone design, by the way, very intuitive. Especially the overrides.

[The volume scales up for a moment, until it echoes off building faces.]

If I could have everybody's attention for just a minute -

[Volume back to normal.]

Why is there a big building in the middle of town with my name on it? Usually I sign papers for those. Maybe draw up plans... the point is, I should have heard about it, and I didn't. Where am I now, Hong Kong? This looks like Lantau Island. Lantau Island? Everybody from Lantau Island, hands in the air.

Okay, now put your hands down and let me know where I am. I can't see you, I'm broadcasting.

Comments

[sincenewyork]

Fifteen minutes, five thousand dollars.

[reanimated]

HE IS NOT YOUR WHORE

[notvictorious]

DUDE

[sincenewyork]

I am genuinely offended by that.

I would never lowball a call girl that way.

[notvictorious]

Hey!

[sincenewyork]

What?

[notvictorious]

uh

[sincenewyork]

You drive a hard bargain, Gael Garcia. Six thousand, final offer. Don't worry, I'm not interested in any of the locker room bits.

[notvictorious]

Okay, not that I'm agreeing to this, but Stark Industries was worth $20 billion dollars where I'm from, and you're gonna toss the son of Ultron a pitiful 6 grand?

[sincenewyork]

Ultron? Did Pym build you a robot mom? and he named her Ultron? That is just...

I'm not judging.

There's a bit of a cash flow problem at the moment. If this was Lantau Island, I'd be fine.

Your girlfriend's a hard bargainer. Ten thousand for ten minutes with an option to renew.

[badnewsboy]

He's right, it's a very poor offer.

[panchromatic]

UH

[notvictorious]

What do I even say here??

[badnewsboy]

Take the coin and run!

[notvictorious]

Thanks for your help Loki, which, as usual, is not helpful.

[ofone]

Five minutes, ten thousand dollars.

[notvictorious]

UH

[ofone]

It's a lot of money that he probably doesn't even have anyway! It's not like you have anything to be ashamed of!

[notvictorious]

If he doesn't have the money what's the point??

[sincenewyork]

Who are you, his agent?

[ofone]

His friend.

[sincenewyork]

I'll put him through college.

[reallylovehats]

Forget the rest of 'em. He'll do it for like 30 new hats.

[sincenewyork]

I'm skeptical about your bargaining power.

If I make you a handheld X-ray machine will you scan him for thirty hats? Because there could be room to talk.

[reallylovehats]

Hey! I am the best bargainer there ever was! You're lucky I don't drive the price up 'cause really.

How can you forget a face like this.