Loki.

Did you remember to file the papers to end our marriage?

I have many words to say on this circumstance, but most of all, I am one who wishes to choose my marital partner. No offense to my brother.

[ and here we have (1) count 'em one tiny tiny viking clutching like his life depended on it and standing in front of the hospital looking more or less in a state of shock.

Just mumbling to himself. Yeah, the turning-it-on part was an obvious accident ]

Wow. This is totally an okay situation.

Hand me a thing and send me off. I'm fine by the way. I'm not freaking out or anything. Thanks for the mental health consideration. Your pep talk was absolutely no help at all but I appreciate your effort which was not really an effort at all. I can contact a network. Odin help whoever thought this one up. What's a network? Gee, I don't know. You know who's fictional? You're fictional. You freaky white-wearing freak. [ something makes a sound and he jumps a little ]

That's it. I've died. It's not even Valhalla because the world is way too hot heat-wise and things are probably on fire. I'm melting. Lucky me. Fire and brimstone for you, Hiccup. It's okay we upgraded the afterlife to have odorless fire and brimstone for maximum comfort while you suffer a hysterical breakdown. Have fun with your metal abominations. We'll miss you in Berk.

I feel so honored to have this experience.

At first, I feared speaking publicly due to the nature of this device. I am not unfamiliar with Stark phones, even if I have rejected Stark's offers myself. He insisted time and again that the intemperate conditions of my lightning-based power would not destroy the phone, but I have proved that is incorrect here. I destroyed the first that way. And then others from the "click of a button," as they say.

But Loki offered me the Package of Walrus to protect it. It is now doing a suitable job.

I speak to you today to inform you that Loki, no matter how old or how young, is my concern. He is a citizen of Asgard, and while Asgard is not here, those responsibilities remain.

But I do not only wish to speak on heavy matters. I come to recommend that you do not try mead and ice cream in your bathing compartment in your mandated living spaces. It leaves the most foulest of aftertastes. And smells. Aye, I did not think I could ever turn down mead. I have learned otherwise.

So having established that the Avengers and the X-Men and Luke Skywalker and apparently the Starship Enterprise are all things that have existed somewhere at some time- and I'm not saying that isn't important- I need somebody to confirm:

Have you heard of the Guardians of the Galaxy? Do you know their status or their last whereabouts? If it was a bar, try to specify which bar, there have been a lot.

Have you seen any fissures in time/space lately? You would know it when you saw it, believe me.

Do you know if this is Earth? Do you know how I can find out if this is Earth or where this is relative to Earth? Is there any way I can find out if Earth is being attacked or blown up in my absence, and what's the current outlook on getting back there anytime soon?

And lastly, does anybody know if the Badoon, Ultron, Thanos, or the Spartoi are in any way involved in whatever the flark this is?

For the record, I'm Peter Quill, and if I know you but you don't know me, I don't even want to hear about it anymore right now.

[Well, if there is one object Balder is not familiar with than it has to be the one that is placed in his hands right now. Somekind of device with tiny buttons on it and something that is...well, what is it exactly? It lights up for no reason and oh, there's his own image and he has no idea he is actually broadcasting himself throughout the network.]

Ah! It is a mirror of some sort.

[Balder peers into the small mirror briefly, quickly brushing a strand of hair aside. After that he tosses the 'mirror' on the bed and all others can see is a ceiling.

He has never seen a city like this, or a room like this, or anything like this to begin with. And he has travelled through some realms and faced quite some dangers. But there has never been any danger that came in the form of a rather...futuristic room with a very soft bed.]

What realm is this?

[He seems to be muttering to himself as he is leafing through the small booklet that they left for him. Apparently someone needs to give him more information.]

I need my sword.

[ so. this is something. sort of. ]

You take me from where I am needed to deposit me in a realm where I am claimed a false being. Yet here I am real.

[ yo, he's heard that song and dance before on midgard. you're totally late on that one, new moore. and he doesn't believe it for one second. ]

I do not take kindly to such deceit and would like to speak with your leader peaceably—should that not be obtained, I share no qualm in using force. But I do not wish it to come to that.

[ there is a brief pause; someone looks a mite bit angry ]

It is your choice.

... Uhm...

There doesn't happen to be someone who could tell me what... exactly just happened? And maybe where I am? It'd be really helpful.


[ooc: I have no good icons left hauhau]

[The first sound is of someone clearing his throat -- and it comes from every smartphone on the island as they all switch on.]

Mass broadcast function, okay, here goes. Good phone design, by the way, very intuitive. Especially the overrides.

[The volume scales up for a moment, until it echoes off building faces.]

If I could have everybody's attention for just a minute -

[Volume back to normal.]

Why is there a big building in the middle of town with my name on it? Usually I sign papers for those. Maybe draw up plans... the point is, I should have heard about it, and I didn't. Where am I now, Hong Kong? This looks like Lantau Island. Lantau Island? Everybody from Lantau Island, hands in the air.

Okay, now put your hands down and let me know where I am. I can't see you, I'm broadcasting.

Who: Thor and you!
When: Probably around the same time as Loki's intro.
Where: Near the other Thor craters, but you might see Thor before that.
What: Arriving. Causing storms. Making craters.

( when thunder rolls )

I've been told the one I'm sharing my quarters with is a... troll. His appearance is not that of the trolls that I have seen. They are ugly in nature and more often than not they steal from happy travelers. Most importantly, they hate us. Unless there is deception at hand, he is nothing like one!

What madness is it when one prefers to be a troll? Must I be as a toy to those who claim to be more real than a son of Asgard?

[tl;dr: WHINING.]

Oh, yes. I seek an answer to a request. I would be much happier with Sif sharing my rooms as my roommate. Can anyone tell me if this can be made possible?

In the short time I have been here on Midgard I've been told that I am fictional, that I am not allowed to carry a blade in the open, and that my clothes leave something to be desired. [ the feed shows an unnaturally tall teenager, dressed what can only be described as a red halter top and a skit made of white strips of fabric with one white sleeve. ] I fail to see why - I'm capable of fighting in it. What more does one require?

To say nothing regarding my sword! It should not be something to cause panic but rather to comfort others that I am more than capable of defending them should they require it. I see now why the Allfather was loathe to let my friends and I explore this realm - adventure would be hard to come by with rules such as these. Though it's more advanced than we had been led to believe…

If anyone has seen a blond individual carrying a hammer and causing property damage, let me know. I'll take care of him.