[ Audio clicks on. Canada clears his throat and when he speaks, he's very clearly confused. ]

Oh. Right. Well then?

Uh. I'm sorry, but I don't think I understand. Is there any way that I can -- go home, or...clear my....identity......? I've asked the nurses, but they've just -- I don't think they heard me...

[ He makes a frustrated noise. The confusion in his voice gives away to a deadpan. ]

I'm a few hundred years worth of relatively stable Independence too late to be having an existential crisis, eh?

'Not real'? Okay dumbasses, what do you think I've been doing the past seventy years? I already know how to not exist, I do it flawlessly! So why the am I here being told shit I already know? I HAVE THINGS TO DO. IMPORTANT THINGS. WEST CAN'T FIND HIS OWN ASS WITHOUT ME AROUND. I DIDN'T EVEN PUT THE BEER IN THE FRIDGE?!

There are polar bears in my living room, 2 of them.  They're very nice but the big one sat on my coffee table and broke it.

I still don't have a roommate so where did this mistletoe come from? 
I really do think this island is a lot stranger than life was before they told me this was the 'real' world and our world was not.

This place is too big.

The counsellor said that it might help if I became part of the community, like getting a job... I don't know if it'll work. I mean, everyone's so cheerful! Doesn't it bother people to be thought of as imaginary? However... It's not home, but I've been accepted as a hostess at the Four Saisons. It seems that this is likely what I'm best suited for. They are slightly short-staffed at the moment, so if people are interested in helping people get checked in and settled into their rooms, there are still some openings.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



man like real or not, I don't really care cause ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!! lets do shots and talk about how great i look, right??


PARTY

AT

MY

PLACE!!!!!!!

NORTH 204!!!

dont mind the nerd