Here's a heads up to my students-

We're going to have a guest presenter soon. Mr Sirius Black will be speaking about the Goblin Wars. Don't know about that? I don't either, but it's going to be awesome because there will be explosions.

One day, one day I will get through one of these ridiculous scenarios without being stabbed, shot at, or otherwise assaulted.

With that in mind, if anyone has any idea of how I might get rid of this bloody idiot who just discovered he can shoot fire from his fingertips and seems to have developed a megalomaniac personality complete with stereotypical laugh and monologuing, please advise.

Have any of you ever taken the time to appreciate how fucking fantastic potatoes are? They're like the single best food thing ever. You can do so much with them. Not meaning to Forrest Gump but there's so many things you can do with potatoes. Boil them, mash them, fry them, slice them, make a casserole, make pancakes, put them on a pizza, and a billion other things.

Basically I have a 2kg sack of potatoes. +999 life points earned.

I'm totally laughing at all of you suckers who got sick! If you were awesome like me, you'd be above it completely!

Needless to say I have the huuuuugest case of Schadenfreude right now!

_{[More like he's turned his bedroom into a sterile environment and hasn't left the flat at all.]}

Who: England & anyone
What: Trying to keep out of people's way (obvs going to fail), general event fallout.
When: Jan 13th - Afternoon
Where: Hoarders (inside or outside)

---

[Cabin fever can drive anyone out of their house even under the most undesirable of circumstances, and England's found his way to the book store after carefully making sure that he speaks to no one on the way. He's been blurting things out left and right whenever a direct question was asked for two days now and it's wearing on his nerves.

He'd like to say he's dealt with worse.

This place is ideal - quiet, plenty of ways to look like he's more than busy so no one will bother him - but that probably won't stop some people, and eventually he'll have to leave.]

Oi, New Moore.

Let's play a game!

SHAG/MARRY/CLIFF
or
FUCK/MARRY/KILL
whichever you prefer, really.

You answer completely honestly and then leave your own triad and everyone else answers you and we fuck ourselves over for the conceivable rest of eternity.

Look, I'll even make the first one easy: Ramona, Shepard and that shifty forest bint, Aisling.

Hey guys, I just got here. For those who didn't meet me, I'm Carol Danvers.

Anyways, apparently I'm suppose to get a job? I'm up for most kinds of work. I have military experience, can operate most machines, and have powers that include flight, strength, and energy blasts.

So, any suggestions? Maybe I could teach self defense or something?

[It has been entirely to long since she had a job that didn't include punching criminals]

Guess what losers!
School is about to get a lot more interesting. You can say goodbye to those humdrum days of absolute boringness where you pass the time making spitballs and watching the seconds tick away.
Yes, yours truly will be gracing your educational facility starting this semester with a brand new course.
European history.
We'll be taking a special look at certain military aspects over the centuries because how could any of you not study this stuff.

_{[see: every "awesome" thing he's ever done back in the day.]}

Prepare yourselves. Students in New Moore have gone too long without knowing just how awesome certain countries are. But thanks to me, Gilbert Beilschmidt, that era is now over!

See you when school starts.

Those other doctors certainly picked a very festive time to take me out of my "fictional reality", as they put it. Luckily, I didn't have any plans to disturb. I got a 'Merry Christmas' right before my I'd imagine standard 'Hello, you're fictional' speech yesterday.

Help a poor new arrival out, will you?
On a scale of one to ten: How upset should I be that I'm here? It's so hard to make a clear judgement a place when it's decorated for the holidays.

Merry Christmas everyone!

I'm Sirius, one of the two lovely wizards around here. Next month is the big opening of our magic shop, but today I speak on behalf of something, someone else.

See this lovely lady?

[He turns the device until it shows the moving photograph of Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, how she's smiling and waving rather untypically at the camera.]



She currently doesn't have a date for New Year's Eve! It's bad enough to spend Christmas alone or, well, in the company of a drunkenly depressed friend with an odd sense of humour, but how can a gorgeous woman like that be alone for New Year's?

It'd be a crime, I'm sure you agree. She is called Anita, she can probably kick your arse the way she'll kick mine if she catches me for this, she is, as you can see, absolutely gorgeous. Add wit and charm to that and anyone who's not snatched up yet should be going after her!

However, needless to say, there are some requirements. For one, she only wants males. I'm sorry, ladies, I've been trying to convince her! For another, obviously you should be good-looking and charming and witty yourself.

She might go for the bad boys, just a bit, but doesn't everyone?

Come on, blokes, tell me if you're interested and if you meet my approval, I might be able to help set something up.

[OOC: ...marauder is doing marauding things, I suppose. Needless to say, Anita doesn't know he's doing this. That's what makes it fun.]

ummmmm

everybody else sees the snow right?? I mean I get its like par for the weirdo course here every december but just checking

[Jake looks a mite embarrassed, but...well, he needs to ask. Absolutely needs to.]

So, are there gloves, perchance, that one could use while doing some delicate knife work? The gloves I've seen at general stores seem much too thick or appallingly thin.

[Ugh, teen Christmas present woes!!!!]

Egads, that reminds me! Mr. Once-ler, do we have latex gloves at the pizza place? I think I might need them while in the kitchen for a few days.

[Private to Prussia]

So, I heard from Mr. Kirkland that you're Prussia personified.

[Damn, English, way to be blunt.]

Now that I've been so graciously granted the return of my memories- Ah, Ukraine, I do appreciate that you tried to help.. I can't help but notice that this place takes a rather violent approach to Christmas, doesn't it?

I can think of several dozen far more pleasant ways to be snapped out of a mid-morning stupor than suddenly falling head-first into a small pine tree that appeared out of sodding nowhere.

Incidentally, students, unless being assaulted by the emerging flora has rendered you utterly incapable of writing, arriving at my class covered in pine needles will not excuse you from handing in your final pieces of homework.

Action;

<sub>[When Gilbert awakes, nothing is out of the ordinary. Or rather, he doesn't think anything is out of the ordinary. That's until he gets out of bed and catches his reflection in the mirror. It's only then that he has to wonder--who is he? Obviously he's an uncommonly attractive young man, but with that hair? Who has hair that shade? Or eyes that red? Clearly he's someone special. He might not know who he is, but he knows he's... definitely something. Has to be. It seems as though his ego wasn't lost along with his memory.

Despite not knowing about his identity, it doesn't stop him from going about like he owns the place. He totally does, right? He showers, dresses, rummages around the kitchen for food. He has to wonder how he's able to function normally like this despite not knowing his name. Definitely proof of greatness.

When he finally finishes eating and rummaging through everything in the living room, with the hope of trying to find something about himself, he decides to venture out. He may be encountered on the streets or perhaps in a store or in a bar. After all, he still isn't a man who would ever turn down a good beer.]</sub>

Text;

So it turns out that the weather today is great. Today's just a great day in general, isn't it. A flawless day, even. It's a good day for a game. Games are fun. The rules to this one are simple. Share facts about me and you'll be rewarded!

_{[The flaw in this? Well, he obviously hasn't a clue of what would be true or false.]}