So having established that the Avengers and the X-Men and Luke Skywalker and apparently the Starship Enterprise are all things that have existed somewhere at some time- and I'm not saying that isn't important- I need somebody to confirm:

Have you heard of the Guardians of the Galaxy? Do you know their status or their last whereabouts? If it was a bar, try to specify which bar, there have been a lot.

Have you seen any fissures in time/space lately? You would know it when you saw it, believe me.

Do you know if this is Earth? Do you know how I can find out if this is Earth or where this is relative to Earth? Is there any way I can find out if Earth is being attacked or blown up in my absence, and what's the current outlook on getting back there anytime soon?

And lastly, does anybody know if the Badoon, Ultron, Thanos, or the Spartoi are in any way involved in whatever the flark this is?

For the record, I'm Peter Quill, and if I know you but you don't know me, I don't even want to hear about it anymore right now.

[ A red-and-orange suit of armor takes up most of the view of the video. Although impossible to see the wearer's face, it is apparent from the tilting of the helmet and the movement of the video that they are inspecting the device they are more interested in it than in actually using it.

The video goes off. Right after, a text message appears. If it is possible for anyone to tell, it is not coming from a phone. ]

I've been told I should take a leave more often, but this is not quite what I would have had in mind. There is not much chance of getting a ride off the surface, I gather.

I will go through the proper channels with the local law enforcement, but I am curious if there is anyone with bounties needing hunting. I'm not against working while on leave.|

[ If anyone possesses the GAMING CRED to recognize this individual, then they are given permission to scream in awe. Otherwise, here, a person of indeterminate gender in indeterminate armor. ]