( Spain turns on the camera, looking like he's swallowed liquid happiness. He's almost literately beaming, even looking a little healthier than he normally does - or at the very least, almost younger somehow. ) You know what? Boss feels really good! I mean, really really good! I haven't felt like this in ages. I feel like I could conquer the world! Again.

This island is being so nice, too, did you know? Suddenly my bank account is huge! Ay, I hope this means things are better back home, it's been kinda iffy for so long and I'd really like it if it was this good back home. Maybe it's a miracle!

But- But! The biggest miracle of all is- ( He grins wide, shifting the camera to focus on two small children, clad in rather old fashioned maid dresses. ) Roma and Veneziano are here! And they're so tiny! I know this island sometimes does things like make us little or older or something like that, and look! I don't know why they're here or why they're little again, but Boss couldn't be happier! It's like being in heaven!

( Excuse him while he go runs to coo over two little kids - and probably get headbutted by one of them. )

Why was everyone acting so strange for a while there? Made it very difficult to get around town.

Whoever is pulling this elaborate prank, come out and give up so I can break your knees already! I’m not gonna fall for your shit, okay?! Waking up in a hospital is one thing, but being told lies that don't make sense is something else completely and it's not funny!

[The slight look of hysteria on his face says otherwise. He’s obviously already fallen for it, and worried about it. Still angry and trying to keep up the threatening façade, though.]

I just wanna go home, to my house, with my stupid brother and his stupid food! Wait, no, the food’s not stupid.

Shit, now I’m hungry!

Dammit, where do you people eat here?

I have to eat before I do anything too strenuous like fighting my way back home.

[Obviously food is an important goal; one has to be in their top strength before hypothetically clawing their way tooth and nail to freedom. Actually, who does he even go to to get home? Does this island even have an airport... This is essentially him freaking out and ranting uselessly.]

Heeeey! If you're out tonight an' you wanna celebrate the New Year with somethin' warm in your belly, I'm keepin' the cafe open until one tonight, so please come!

[ a shuffled sort of pause, like she's putting her hand over the audio receiver, and mumbles of a distinctly male voice in the background - ] No, Bélgica, it's okay, you don't hafta -

And if anyone's hirin' for anythin' at all, please contact Spain, 'cause he ain't got any job, and he'd really like to eat this year.

DATE: Tonight

OCCASION: New Year's

INVITED: Countries

NOT-INVITED: Demons, all others

uh As much as I don't need any racist tirades right now, I couldn't help but notice a certain Skrull husband was weirdly absent from Nathan's latest inappropriate questions.

Karolina, did you send him out to buy presents or something?



Anybody know if there's going to be a Christmas mass here at all?

[ it's a beautiful evening. the moon is waxing, the stars are just beginning to prick the night sky, and behold! there is mistletoe hanging in every nook and cranny you can think of. whether you are taking a stroll outside for a late-night cup of coffee, just came out of your favorite cafe, are taking a walk by the snowy beach, or possibly just innocent strolling down the hall of your apartment, it is there.

whoever steps beneath it may not know it, but suddenly the person standing beside them, passing by, or walking in the opposite direction suddenly looks a lot more attractive. maybe their inhibitions just got shot to all hell. whatever it is, it's time to pucker up. ]

Since it looks like things have quieted down a little bit, I thought I'd start that job listing.

So, anyone hiring who's looking for work? Full or part time?

( Private: Investigation Team )

Why hasn't anyone been at the shop in four days?!

It's my birthday!

This place is too big.

I WANT MY DAMN WAFFLES

Caffè Sospeso Is Now Hiring

—Must be eligible to work in your home country.
—Feel free to ignore the Spanish bastard in the corner.
—WE ARE NOT A FUCKING STARBUCKS.

Any interested parties should apply in person. Ask for Romano or Belgium.

Lots of new people in town, huh? Belgi, we should get some new pastries together on the menu to welcome everyone!