[ So a detective sits in a pub and an assassin rushes in.

Joke is -- well, the punchline doesn't matter here, does it, because none of you see all that anyway. All the network gets is Lestrade's slurred yelp of ]

Buggering hell, hello to you too!

I've actually been quite pleased with the way things have been arranged here so far. Aside from a few... questionable instances, such as the dance and the odd appearance of material, I really haven't had many complaints. Even Sherlock has behaved... for the most part. I think I received a notice about a potential flatmate coming in but it seems to have disappeared. I may have dreamed it.

Sherlock? Do you know anything about these calls that I'm getting from Juanes? They seem to be wanting their merchandise back.

Also, has anyone else noticed the stark lack of women on the island? Like actual adult women? It's a little unnerving, to be quite honest.

Guys I'm dying. I'm dying!!! Victor don't read this.



Send Lucky Charms and Soda Pop to North 203 ASAP. Don't tell Vic.

[ A string of PRIVATE TEXTS ]

Sherlock, you could have at least left me a drink.
- GL

You know it's usually the cat that leaves corpses as gifts about the house, not the other way around.
- GL

Ten minutes.
- GL
[ about two minutes later, another one ]

You have a look at our little sitcom as well?
- GL

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY


Stop wanking over everyone's ~source material~ and get your arses down to the Nancing Phony!

Also my birthday was two days ago, fuck you all very much for noticing, so we're celebrating that too. Not that you should need more of a reason to get twatted today but there you have it.


OI CONRAD, YOU MIGHT WANT TO STOCK UP. Sorry for the lack of warning, mate. No I'm not.

Since evidently Moriarty has chosen to resume his profession, I give the police force on this island two days before they are completely out of their depth and he is running the place. When that happens, you'll need me.

As my original website is locked I have rebuilt it on the island servers. You can find it here: www. thescienceofdeduction.co.nm Contact either myself or Dr John Watson at North 301.


[ note: the new moore version of Sherlock's website is basically exactly the same as the real one, only the forum is empty and the Hidden Messages folder has been replaced with one titled "New Moore". it contains a neatly bulleted list of his deductions on, obviously, New Moore, though no definite conclusion or even a theory has been proposed. ]

It is so rewarding to see my characters literally come to life. Honestly. It is like a dream come true.

It seems I have been assigned a new roommate.

In order to co-exist harmoniously within such a limited space, Mister Holmes, I believe we should become better acquainted.

Oh, I think I must have fallen asleep! I was supposed to be hibernating for the winter so I suppose that is normal... but now my roommate has changed and a lot of things seem to be different! Or perhaps I am still a little bit confused. Am I still dreaming?

Do people still remember me?
Have I missed anything particularly important?

Right, so am I expected to keep a blog? Is this a Facebook for ex-fictionals? Sort of an existential support group, is it?

Well why not. I was a detective inspector for the Scotland Yard, but recently I've been demoted to a figment of imagination. A modern reincarnation of a bumbling rat faced Victorian detective, to be exact. I never was too keen on reading literature or keeping up with the telly though, so forgive me if I've never heard of me.

Cheers.