Sirius Black signed my boob.

[Nodding as she sports a massive grin.]

Seriously. Sirius Mother-Faeking Black.

[Pointing to herself.]

I can now die happy.

[She pauses for a second, still grinning, shaking her head as if she can't believe her luck.]

Best - Kidnapping - Ever.

While these devices may be a more efficient means of communication than magic, and nowhere near as messy as firetalking has the potential to be, there are inherent flaws in their design. They are far too small, for one, and lend themselves to being easily misplaced. I suppose it will have its uses, which is more than can be said for most Muggle devices, but if not for the distinct lack of owls, I would not be so resigned to let it replace the perfectly respectable practice of letter-writing.

That said, the sheer amount of idiocy beyond the doors of that Muggle hospital is absolutely baffling. Never in my life have I heard such a ridiculous tale, which is quite a feat when one considers the many desperate lies told by Death Eaters when presented with anything resembling consequence. I have little tolerance for foolishness and will not be treated as either an invalid or an imbecile they assume is eager to believe stories that are clearly meant for children.

Writing on this fool thing is an exercise in tedium and a miserable excuse for communication, I might add. Quill and parchment would have been much quicker.