[So, this device is really difficult to handle when one is freaking out and also holding a glass in one hand, so it's no wonder that it takes him a while to switch to private. The first bit of this is all very audible.]

Your mother is a ********** Lorem ipsem ******* Admintum Venium******* Tragula ****** hippopotamus **** republican *********Daniel Radcliffe ****** with a bucket of ******* in a castle far away where no one can hear you ******* soup ******* with a bucket of ******** Mickey Mouse ******** a stick of dynamite ****** magical ****** Alakazam!

[ooc: Yes, I quoted the Potter Puppet Pals. All rights to them and nothing is too meta for Thoughtformed.]

[Private to James and Lily]

Talk to me, please. Er. And listen. Listening would be great.

[Private to Rudy]

Mate, I need someone really irresponsible, so don't let me down.

[Private to Sheska]

Er. Sheska? Love?

[Private to Rogue]

Life still sucks. Want to feel better about yourself?

[Private to Alisha]

Alisha, hey. I've got some news for you. We should talk.

[...don't say 'We should talk.' to your girlfriend, idiot.]

Well they would call it fiction, wouldn't they? Magical nonsense. What muggle would ever believe in it?

Sorry. Hello. Excuse me, but has anyone about happened across an owl? Just curiosity, you understand. If you happen to see one, could you let me know? I assume this strange function works in two directions, so I would appreciate it. Thank you.

Fair warning: If you're moping, don't be surprised when you're hit with a snowball to the face. Not moping won't lower your chances. I take no responsibility.

Who: Everyone.
What: The fancy anniversary/homecoming ball.
When: Saturday evening, November 9th.
Where: Four Saison's Ballroom.



[ You made it to the ball. Presumably, you will have an awesome time and/or be completely miserable.

Through the doors is a giant dancefloor, with a small orchestra on stage. They're playing beautiful music and later in the evening they'll be replaced with a DJ who will then pump up some sick beats. You can be like hot damn that's my jam.

This ball is full of fancy decorations, fine dining, dancing of all sorts, alcohol??, tears, everyone trying to look their best, and Dinkerton wearing a golden crown and high-fiving a crowned Coulson. The tables are circling the dance floor if you're going to sit down the entire time or you need to eat that food. ]

USE THIS POST TO ACTIONSPAM/LOG UP ALL YOUR BALL ACTIVITIES

[ When the camera turns on, it reveals Rudy, looking more than just a little cross, and just a bit peaky. ]

All right, all right! Come on out with it, now. Who the fuck is the owner of the fucking monstrosity that did this to me!?

[ Rudy pulls the camera back to reveal a rather nasty and large bite to his arm, at least according to the fact that the bandage takes up almost his entire forearm. ]

Just got meself out of the hospital.. Couldn't explain it. No one wanted to believe that a fuckin' massive bloody dinosaur wanted t'eat me! Nooo, 'course no one wants t'believe old Rudy. He just makes shit up! There's no dinosaurs on this weird fuckin' island where literally anything can happen at any fucking time it wants to! No! That'd be ridiculous, wouldn't it? For Christ's sake.. When I find the fucker who let this fucking lizard out, I'm gonna cut your bollocks off and shove 'em up your nose. Y'hear me, mate?

 how do they know my name

This? [Alisha holds up a Playboy-esque bunny costume. Guess who's out Halloween costume shopping?] This is bullshit.

Doesn't even hold anything in for more than two seconds. Can't exactly go to any fancy dress parties if nothing fits. [Or, you know. Tease her boyfriend with some intense cleavage for the majority of the evening.]

Anyone know where I can get a costume that doesn't discriminate by tit size?

Look, we need to talk.

Badly.

Come to the bar in the hotel. Free drinks on me.

[Guess who hasn't gotten off her cool kitchen floor? Guess who's also only in a bikini top and a pair of cut-off shorts because fuck the heat? And guess who is never in hot weather in general, much less weather this stifling?

You've probably guessed correctly.]

If anyone wants to come over for mint juleps, now would be the time before I give into peer pressure and pass out from the heat... like the rest of you lot not used to this bullshit weather.

Sirius, bring gin when you come.

[Assuming he's coming over anyway? You bet.]

Okay, heatstroke is bad. I'm going to be flying around to cool down the rooms of anyone who needs it. Nothing cold lasts long in this weather, but in the meantime, let's make this as fun as we can. All right?

There better be a freak snowstorm later on at some point. I feel like my element's been very neglected.

Okay, so, no one told me that getting a flatmate was going to spur some kind of... weird homoerotic marriage situation. Is that sort of thing even legal here? I mean, not that I'm here to judge or anything, but I'm not gay, and it would be really, really nice if the people at the town hall or whatever would believe that. Even if I were, is big ears and big nose really on my tier? Please.

And besides, I'm not really the marriage type, yeah? Better off coasting through from one strange woman's bed to the next.

... what kind of ridiculous joke is this? I haven't agreed on marrying anyone, much less here, or like this. I'm not even old enough for this.

I'm almost certain I'm not eligible to get married.

Sidewalks are going to be slippery. It's not you I'm after, it's them.

At long last, a dream of mine has come true. A far off dream I'd only imagined would happen after I'd saved the world with my comrades at my side from the Deboss Army. After I'd wooed a girl with dates and flowers and a moonlit dinosaur ride at night-- I mean, girls like that kind of stuff, right? Oh, and chocolate. At least a mountain of it and maybe a free hamster and--

Actually, that doesn't matter now because Kiryuu Daigo is now married!

Guess we're going to be having a lot of divorces going around...

Now, Koizumi, you'r a fantastic cook and a great bloke and I'd just love to make a honourable man out of you, but I'm really not the type for marriage. We can share the cake?

James, Prongs, don't worry, you're still the only man I've ever truly loved.

And Alisha, I really can't explain, but... Do you want to help me cheat on my husband?

Everyone else, I hope you woke up with beautiful wives! Or husbands, as the case might be. If you want to take wedding pictures, my store can offer ones that move.

Okay. So. I've got a couple of inquiries. Which I will keep very short and to the point because nobody wants to hear me ah- Ramble.

First. I have zero contacts left and this is my only pair of glasses. Knowing my luck there is going to be a cracked lens at some point. Probably. Is there someone slash somewhere, preferably not horribly creepy, that can do something about that?

Second inquiry. I'm kind of broke because camera stuff isn't cheap. And neither will future eye-related things in inquiry number one. Or the screen to this cracked phone preventing this from being in text. How's the job market?

Third. Unrelated to one and two. When does school start?

And last, unrelated to one and three and maybe related to two because there may be replacement clothing items I have to purchase. Say I accidentally put something very red and blue in the laundry with some of my roommate's white shirts? What are my options towards fixing a possible color-issue here? They may have came out kind of. Not white.

That was an interesting experience. [Jack's face gives nothing away. Nope. He's just calmly tossing his staff into the air. With his toes.] We shared whipped cream.

Okay, I'm totes sadzoes that nice older Vicks is gone but I love my roboboyfriend in every format so it's aaaaall gooood

what's not all good is my TOTES AWFUL LAMEZOID SISTER!!!!! she needs friends, so Lizzie, check this list and get crackin on new friendships:

1. Souji Seta - HAWTTIEEEE
   
2. Princess Bubblegum - she likes science as much as you like grad school
   
3. Simca - maybe she can totes teach you how to be kewl???
   
4. Kara Zor-El - its supergirl nuff said
   
5. Clara Oswald - she seems super brill and shes been on TOOONS of adventures maybe she can teach you a thing or two about priorities
   
6. Sirius Black - do i seriously need to say more
   
7. Katniss Everdeen aka Jlaw - NUFF SAID
   
8. Finnick Odair - he's like Wickham but less douchey
   
9. Terra - tall dark and handsome, hopefully legal?
   
10. Oncey - nuff said
    
11. Remy Lebeau -older, cooler, hotter
    
12. Darcy Lewis - chick keeps shit real
    
13. Alisha Bailey - dunno why I didn't think of this before
    
14. Sarah Manning- she works at a bar, you could learn some stuff, like you know, how to LIGHTEN UP
    
15. Ramona Flowers - I mean cmon totes the kewlest realest girl on da island

OK KISSES HAVE FUNSIES XOXOXOXOXOXOX0!!!!!!!!!!!

[Though she doesn't look older, there are some definite changes that Alisha has gone through. Her hair is longer, hanging in natural, large ringlets. Her makeup isn't nearly as heavy. There's even a sort of experience and patience about her demeanor that wasn't there before.

And there is a thick, long scar across her throat, as if someone once took a knife to it. It's bad enough that anyone in their right mind would wonder how she survived it.

Her mind is on other related matters, however, and she doesn't think to double check that the feed is private.]

Please tell me at least one of you is still around. I don't... really know wot to say, but I need to talk.