[Audio]

[sincenewyork]

[The first sound is of someone clearing his throat -- and it comes from every smartphone on the island as they all switch on.]

Mass broadcast function, okay, here goes. Good phone design, by the way, very intuitive. Especially the overrides.

[The volume scales up for a moment, until it echoes off building faces.]

If I could have everybody's attention for just a minute -

[Volume back to normal.]

Why is there a big building in the middle of town with my name on it? Usually I sign papers for those. Maybe draw up plans... the point is, I should have heard about it, and I didn't. Where am I now, Hong Kong? This looks like Lantau Island. Lantau Island? Everybody from Lantau Island, hands in the air.

Okay, now put your hands down and let me know where I am. I can't see you, I'm broadcasting.

Comments

[sincenewyork]

Could you narrow it down a bit? I've forgotten at least one island for every Spring Break since 1995.

[hypertoxic]

Nope! Never mind. You are 8asically useless to me.
8ut I can explain one thing!
Your name is on that 8uilding 8ecause you've 8een here 8efore, and you were kind of a 8ig deal.
You just don't remem8er 8ecause of shenaaaaaaaanigans. I was here a few times 8efore and I don't remem8er shit!
So with that said:
Welcome 8ack. ::::)

[notvictorious]

Tony Stark is a HUGE deal, not just on this island either.

[hypertoxic]

Oh my gooooooood, Victor. I don't care!
Go 8e a fan8oy somewhere else.

[notvictorious]

I'm not a fanboy! Well, not anymore. He tried to send me an my friends to child services! He's still a huge deal, even if he is a jerk.

[totesadorbz]

omg do we have a crush on the same guy =P~

[notvictorious]

For the LAST time, I do not have a crush on Iron Man.

[totesadorbz]

:3 you TOTES do

[sincenewyork]

He totes does. But then, who can blame him?

[sincenewyork]

I think you just wrote my epitaph.

[sincenewyork]

Listen, River Phoenix, if you're looking for a job, your sucking up technique is great, but what I really need right now is six kilometers of copper wire, about four ounces of palladium, some industrial-grade insulation, the biggest vaccuum tubes you've got available on the island, a bottle of Grand Marnier, two glasses, and a platinum credit card.

In a pinch, I'd settle for the drink and the credit card.

[notvictorious]

Who's River Phoenix?

[sincenewyork]

They got a movie rental place in town?

Grand Marnier first, though. Have to insist.

[notvictorious]

Screw you, I'm not your intern. You don't remember us at all, do you?

[sincenewyork]

You're not from the Make-A-Wish foundation, are you?

[notvictorious]

Yeah, I'm terminally ill with Pym's robotic heiritage.

Actually, you not knowing is better.

[sincenewyork]

Robots. You're a robot?

If Pym's gotten this far ahead of me I either need to hire him or put out a hit.

[notvictorious]

I'm a cyborg and of course he's ahead of you, he doesn't marinate himself in booze every night

[sincenewyork]

Just imagine how delicious I'd smell if you threw me on a grill.

[sincenewyork]

You're really a cyborg? Hydraulics, electronics, computer chips, wrapped up in a fleshy casing like a sausage? A sausage that looks like Avan Jogia?

[badnewsboy]

Surprise!

[sincenewyork]

You want to shed some light on this, Tiny Tim?

[badnewsboy]

Loki.

And the light that I would like to shed is dependent on the amount of frozen cream offered.

Excuse you, his canon lookalike is gael garcia bernal

[notvictorious]

Yes, way to make it sound gross. Who's- neverminfd.

[sincenewyork]

And I suppose it's totally out of the question to let me take a look under the hood.

Wait, before I ask that, how old are you?