[ timestamp: midnight ]

[burnedout]

[ An image snaps into focus on the TV all at once, like something has clicked it on from far away. Peppy game-show theme music plays in the background; a voice narrates over it. It sounds like Katniss' voice, but distorted somehow - higher and faster, with what might be a note of autotune. ]


Welcome, new and old viewers! Do we have a great show in store for you tonight!


[ As the narrator speaks, the camera pans over the stage, which is much larger than the laws of physics would normally allow within a building and in fact seems relatively endless. It reveals what appears to be a brightly-colored obstacle course with numerous traps along the way - think a program like Ninja Warrior or Takeshi's Castle, or maybe for the more discerning viewers like the weirdly-"Saw"-like DERO. Somewhat horrifyingly, a closer pan reveals what appears to be actual burn and scorch marks, as well as dried blood and what might be the final leftovers of hastily wiped-away smeared entrails on all of the equipment. Obviously it's just an image on the television screen, but those viewers who've been exposed to violence and warfare will know how badly it must smell. ]


Returning for her third consecutive night is Katniss Everdeen, otherwise known as the ex-Mockingjay and the Girl-Who-Once-Was-On-Fire!


[ The camera zooms in on the center of the stage, which features what looks like a soundproof holding chamber of some kind - the walls are clear plastic, cut more than two inches thick, with small nozzles of some kind lining one corner toward the front. There's someone lying in the opposite corner with her back to the camera - it's Katniss, who is clearly worse for wear. Her face is dirty, her clothes are singed, and her hair is coming out of its braid and is matted in a way that suggests that she was submerged in water at some point and that her hair has dried this way naturally over time. ]


Katniss has been having a killer time with some of our events, but never fear - she's sure to give the performance of her life tonight as well!


[ In the upper corner of the screen a "highlights" reel with Katniss begins to play - her climbing monkey bars over a pit of sharks, scrabbling up a climbing wall as another wall with spikes closes in and threatens to impale her, being hit from the side while running along a plank and dropping a considerable height into a huge pool of some indeterminate liquid - you know, fun kids' stuff! ]


But first, here's your host - the ineffable Katniss Everdeen!


[ The music swells, canned applause starts, and another Katniss - judging by her yellow irises, the Shadow Katniss - joins the first onstage, waving like a beauty queen.

There's more different about her than just her eyes, however - the rest of the Hunger Games cast will recognize that she's fully Capitolized. Her hair is in something like a bump-it and has been dyed crimson and gold, and she's wearing a short toga with cutouts throughout and thigh-high gladiator sandals. Her body seems to have been enhanced, as well - her legs are hairless, her eyebrows appear to have been drawn on with gold eyeliner, and her chest may be a couple of sizes larger. Her normally olive skin has taken on a pearly, almost iridescent sheen. Overall, she gives off an impression that is somehow both extremely obscene and subtly existentially off-putting - like something that shouldn't be the way that it is.

When she speaks, it's apparent that the autotune in her voice wasn't put in in post-production; she seems to have the technology in her throat itself. ]


Thank you!! Thank you!! Thank you so much for being here today!


[ Shadow Katniss twirls enthusiastically, exposing more thigh than normal family programs would allow. As the applause dies down, a chair and a sofa rise up from below the stage - Shadow Katniss takes the chair, and the sofa is occupied by three hug pillows - one is labeled "Prim" and has a blonde wig placed haphazardly on it, one is labeled "Rue" and is decorated with cheap plastic flowers, and one is labeled "Peeta" and simply has a loaf of bread set on it, as if in an afterthought by some producer, somewhere. Shadow Katniss smiles a bit too widely and crosses her legs, beginning her opening narration. ]


Tonight's guest, Katniss Everdeen, that is to say, me!!, has really been winning the hearts and minds of the studio audience over the last several nights -

which is saying something, as of course our studio audience has neither.

But I guess that's something she's - I've - got something of a talent at, isn't it? Winning hearts and minds. You could say that for all of my fighting to survive, winning over a viewing audience seems to be something I do without meaning to - probably because when viewers watch me, all you see is a reflection of what you already wanted to.


[ And then Shadow Katniss' smile turns mean. ]


Yes, in fact, dear viewers, the reason you have come to root so much for this girl - or, I guess, me!! - has nothing to do with her - all she is - or, I guess, we are!! - is a symbol, a reflection, a different thing to different people. It could have been anyone else, maybe.

It would have been easier if it had been.


[ And then, finally, Katniss lifts herself up to a sitting position and blearily turns to face the camera. Her gaze is unfocused, and it's entirely possible that she's on something, which would explain the gas nozzles in one corner of the holding chamber. Shadow Katniss continues with her monologue, undeterred by her counterpart's newfound consciousness; her speech gets faster and higher-pitched over time, taking an almost frenetic pace. ]


Would have been easier if I'd kept my head down. Would have been easier if I'd just won the Games by myself, if I'd played the game the way it was meant to be played. If I'd closed my eyes and smiled for the cameras and done whatever I'd been told. If I'd learned to leave well enough alone and play the Games the way they were meant to be the second damn time. If I'd just said no to Coin and stayed under ground, where I was meant to be in the first place.

If I'd put Rue out of her misery early.

If I'd slit Gale's throat the second I got home from the first games.

If I'd fed Peeta the damn berries.

If I'd let his leg take care of him.

If I'd let him die.

[ It becomes apparent throughout the shadow's speech that sound is being piped into Katniss' chamber; as the monologue continues Katniss's face remains stony, but her hands creep up almost as if automatically to cover her ears, and she begins to rock very subtly back and forth, focusing intently on nothing in particular.

Suddenly, the background music and the piping tones of the narration cut off, and there are a few long minutes of silence. Katniss freezes, then very cautiously raises her gaze and looks toward her shadow. Shadow Katniss locks eyes with the original, folds her hands together and uncrosses her legs, leans forward and says very quietly and very seriously, voice sounding for the first time like Katniss' own, ]


Would have been easier if we'd let Prim die in the first Games.


[ It's like they've flipped a switch in Katniss' brain, and she lunges at the walls separating her from her shadow, more animal than human. It's impossible to hear from inside of the chamber, but she's screaming something as her hands scrabble for purchase, and as the chamber begins to sink into the stage, the camera zooms in for a close up on Katniss' face - close enough to see tears pouring down it. Peppy music begins playing once more.

Finally the chamber disappears all the way below the stage, and the shadow turns once again to face the camera. Voice back to what it was before, she pipes cheerfully, ]


Anyway, we've got quite a show planned for you, so hold onto your hats, viewers - only a few more days until we watch the Girl on Fire burn!

Comments

[johannamason]

You look terrible, brainless.

[burnedout]

Funny, I feel better than I have in ages!

[johannamason]

No, but that'd be a first.

[burnedout]

What? Too much clothing? I can fix that.

[pelagically]

You had to get kidnapped by the TV before you showed off your legs? Katniss, I'm disappointed.

[burnedout]

Anything for a television audience!! You know that better than anyone.

[pelagically]

Oh, it's been so long since someone on the TV called me out.

[burnedout]

Don't worry, I'm sure your star will shine again! How could it not!! Just as soon as we let Miss Everdeen's finish burning out.

[burnedout]

If you'll forgive the obvious pun.

[riseup]

oh wow, i think dave's girlfriend got a boob job?

[callbacks]

JOHN

[riseup]

sorry!

[callbacks]

her SHADOW got a boob job

[burnedout]

That's very kind of you! But of course that's between me and my medical professional, you know?

[riseup]

yes. absolutely.
i meant to say something about how we are all going to save you soon, that was a typo probably.

[burnedout]

Oh, that's very kind of you to say, but I'm afraid rescue won't be an option in this case.

[breadtrauma]

A loaf of bread? Really?

[burnedout]

We spent most of our budget this season on the Crush-o-tron 4000. We had to cut corners somewhere.

[breadtrauma]

I really don't understand what's happening here.

[pelagically]

This happened to you once, it was embarrassing for everyone.

[trytryagain]

The easy way isn't for you.

[burnedout]

Well, there's certainly no undoing the past! Still, we can make up for it with the future! Which is of course what I plan on doing.

[trytryagain]

The future is uncertain.

Even so, we'll see you soon.

[ihateyouetc]

OH NO
CAT GRASS

[Video]

[coimiceoir]

[Aisling is all wide eyes and astonishment, and a long moment passes before she's able to say anything.]

I'm sorry. We've failed you. But we'll find you and bring you home.