voice;

[soldiers]

[ The feed clicks on with a background score of faint mutters, fading in and out as if someone's thumb was briefly pressing over the mic. ] I gotta say, this waking up in a completely different place thing is getting kinda old. [ pause. ] Not that it's happened a lot, but I figured once was more than enough. As for the idea of having been fictional before – right. Sure. Somebody really outdid themselves this time around.

Now, I'd ask if anyone's been able to find a way outta this place, but something tells me the answer would be a no. So I guess I'll just stick with an introduction.

The name's Steve Rogers. Anybody know where I can find a good gym around here?

Comments

[freezespirited]

Sorry, if you want to go to the gym you'll have to trek through a volcano.

[soldiers]

Really? I wasn't aware membership fees were that high.

[freezespirited]

Membership's free. People were complaining about the prices so we put the gym in a volcano and that got them quiet pretty fast.

[soldiers]

Can't imagine why. Who wouldn't want to hop stones across boiling lava in order to go a few rounds with a punching bag?

[freezespirited]

It's a really nice punching bag, too. It has a strong chain holding it up and everything.

[soldiers]

Now I definitely want to try it out. A sturdy enough chain is something I haven't seen in a while.

[freezespirited]

It's just a short walk through the lava vent. It's not going anywhere.

[soldiers]

Any tips on how to get through that vent? Not that I haven't been in hot water before, but a volcano's somethin' else.

[freezespirited]

I'd suggest parkour, but that takes skill and years of practice. I'll add in some hand and footholds just for you. Bring water.

[soldiers]

Parkour, huh? Well, dunno what that is but I've got some military training under my belt -- think that'd help?

And thanks, I appreciate it. Don't know what I would've done otherwise.

[freezespirited]

You a soldier? Well, then you might have an easier time than some of the others. Is it true you have to run around with hundreds of pounds of gear?

You're welcome.

[soldiers]

Yep, I'm a soldier. Captain Rogers, at your service.

And it depends on what sort of equipment you take with you into battle, and how much of it. Sometimes you got a lot, other times, not so much. Either way, it's usually heavy.

[freezespirited]

Jack Frost. Thank you, Captain.

Do you get used to how heavy it is? Are there a lot of pockets? What if you forget which pocket holds what?

[soldiers]

That's quite a name. Is your birthday during the winter, by any chance?

Yeah, you get used to it soon enough. They work you hard during basic training, you learn to anticipate the weight. Lots of pockets, easy to forget at first but then it's like second nature, really.

Useful for keeping snacks handy.

[freezespirited]

The middle of it, surprisingly.

And you can run really far and do lots of other stuff, right? At least one pocket, and minimum, should always be used for snacks. What kinda snacks?

[soldiers]

Who would've thought.

Right. Well, everybody's got a limit, but generally speaking soldiers tend to do more stuff than usual and take it a few notches up. And the snacks weren't anything special -- field rations. The emergency chocolate was hard as a rock. Nearly cracked a tooth once.

[freezespirited]

So hypothetically, if anyone wanted to challenge you to something they'd have to make it really extra challenging too. At least you would've cracked your tooth on a tasty rock. What's the emergency chocolate for?

[soldiers]

Hypothetically, yes. And hopefully with prior warning.

They used to give us the chocolate in case we didn't have anything else on us. It was good for boosting energy and for keeping good even in the worst temperatures, but the taste suffered as result. Definitely not as sweet as the real thing.

[freezespirited]

Can it be a warning of the cold and globular nature? Or a letter. Politely worded and everything.

So it was like the bitter stuff? But it was still chocolate, right? Not something disguised as chocolate. Who knew it could be so useful and nutritious.

[soldiers]

Either's good. Fair warning, though, my answer might be of a similar nature.

It was bitter, yeah, but -- you know what, you might be onto something. I think a couple of the guys had a wager going on that it wasn't really chocolate at all.

[freezespirited]

But can you hit me? I'm pretty fast.

I knew it. Chocolate is never nutritious and it's impossible for it to taste that way. Clearly it is some evil scheme and those guys are onto something.

[soldiers]

Maybe, maybe not. Only one way to find out.

Evil scheme sounds about right. I take it you're a fan of chocolate?

[freezespirited]

I'll take that as my cue.

That's the evillest thing I've ever heard! I like all candy and things that are generally bad for you.

[soldiers]

Well, candy's not so bad -- a little of it never hurt anyone. Of course, a lot of it might. Then again, a lot of anything might.

[freezespirited]

Five bags of it at once isn't a lot, is it?