LAU, YOU CAN BE GUEST OF HONOUR

[reanimated]

Days one through four without boss: Aces, the pub is mine for the night, free shots for everyone, etc. etc.

Day five without boss: Considering the possibility that he might be dead? Aces, the pub is mine for the night, free shots for everyone, etc. etc.

Day six without boss: Turns out he was released, the pub is mine FOREVER, free shots for ME, etc. etc.

Anyway so he's gone and seeing as he left no last will and testament (cos what would it say anyway? "I leave all my shite poetry about blood to my girlfriend, ohhhhhhhhh wait") I'm going to go ahead and say the Phony is now under my ownership from here until the end of time!

"But Nathan, you don't know how to run a business" — WHO GIVES A SHIT? Open bar at the Phony tonight in loving memory of our dearly departed friend Connor or Constatine or whatever the fuck!

Comments

[highlyinformed]

What is the English expression? I'd like to.. throw my cat into the ring?

[reanimated]

HAAHAHHAHAHA SERIOUSLY? Conrad would shit himself! I dunno if my moral compass will allow for that, Lau, I might need to be convinced.

[highlyinformed]

Name your price and I'll purchase it from you.

[reanimated]

Name my price, you say.

Any price? How many zeroes is too many zeroes?

[highlyinformed]

Five?

[reanimated]

Yeah I'd probably be a wildly irresponsible millionaire anyway

[reanimated]

Sure man, she's yours for the SWEET SWEET LOW LOW PRICE of $800,000 and not a penny less.

[highlyinformed]

You understand if you don't sell the bar, you're responsible for its debts, don't you?

[reanimated]

Yeah I'd really rather not be responsible for anything, ever.

[highlyinformed]

And if I purchase the bar I have to pay those debts. So what I pay you has to take into account how much I'll still owe the debtors.

[reanimated]

LAU I'M NOT SKILLED AT MATHS

[highlyinformed]

$150,000 today.

[alwaysimpure]

I want to throw cats too.

[No offense meant, Professor McGonagall.]

[highlyinformed]

Can you really outbid me, though?

[alwaysimpure]

I don't know, depends on how much you're offering.

[highlyinformed]

More than you seems like a decent starting wager.

[alwaysimpure]

Well, at least that means I can drive the price up.

[highlyinformed]

I suppose you have the money to cover his debts?

[alwaysimpure]

Not actually aware of his finances, but I should think so. I hold the monopoly on most of the services and goods I sell, you should be familiar with how much of a profit-maker that can be.

[highlyinformed]

I wouldn't put us in the same category, no.

He recently acquired some sort of gaming facility permit? The installations on that plus the structural damage his lack of foresight cost enough I wouldn't be surprised if he chose to disappear.

I'm having my accountant draw up the paperwork now. Can your accountant could meet with us? Who should I contact regarding your finances?

[alwaysimpure]

...me.

[Yes, that would go great. Why, oh, why did things have to be so awkward between him and the Once-ler right now?]

[highlyinformed]

A purchase of this magnitude would require some fairly complicated paperwork. I wasn't aware you had a background in finance.

[ricinbeans]

Yo, I dunno who the hell you are or whatever but you can't outbid Lau. Like, you just can't. I guess I'm sayin don't waste your time.

[alwaysimpure]

Well, I could, but probably not with methods I'm actually willing to use.

[ricinbeans]

Don't fuck with him either, man, I'm serious. Yo why doesn't anyone ever listen to me about this shit