Itsuki Koizumi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dontmindmepleasecontinue) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thoughtformed2014-03-12 10:46 pm
dontmindmepleasecontinue) wrote in thoughtformed2014-03-12 10:46 pm
Entry tags:
semi-closed log
WHAT: mental breakdowns and existential crises
WHO: Koizumi and those who notice his sudden absence
WHEN: between 3/7 and 3/14
WHERE: Koizumi's apartment
WARNINGS: triggering and content warnings for: depression, thoughts of suicide, mental breakdown. will edit with any further warnings.
Haruhi has been the center of Koizumi's life for a long time. She's been at the very core of his world and his identity for more than five years - for an 18 year old, that might as well be forever. She is everything to him. His friend, his first and greatest love, his literal God. She grants him the powers that make him an esper, make him special. Even if nobody knows, he has saved the world many times - and that means more to him than he can ever explain. She is a part of who he is.
Well. Was. That's gone now.
...She's gone.
Koizumi lays on his bed, trying to come to grips with it. He fluctuates between sorrow and madness and and denial and despair. Days pass, and the shadows climb the wall, only to vanish once again. He doesn't eat, and can't tell the difference between sleeping and waking anymore. It doesn't seem important, though sometimes he forgets why.
He gets messages, but he can't summon the will to respond to them.
...Anything would be better than this. He could suffer through anything, the cruelest torture, if only Kyon and Haruhi were here.
They're not. His mind wanders to his gun - at least that ending would be quick. But no, his gun was taken away when he lost his job. He's absolutely powerless - all he can do is lay there in his own personal hell, and hope for the darkness to consume him.
WHO: Koizumi and those who notice his sudden absence
WHEN: between 3/7 and 3/14
WHERE: Koizumi's apartment
WARNINGS: triggering and content warnings for: depression, thoughts of suicide, mental breakdown. will edit with any further warnings.
Haruhi has been the center of Koizumi's life for a long time. She's been at the very core of his world and his identity for more than five years - for an 18 year old, that might as well be forever. She is everything to him. His friend, his first and greatest love, his literal God. She grants him the powers that make him an esper, make him special. Even if nobody knows, he has saved the world many times - and that means more to him than he can ever explain. She is a part of who he is.
Well. Was. That's gone now.
...She's gone.
Koizumi lays on his bed, trying to come to grips with it. He fluctuates between sorrow and madness and and denial and despair. Days pass, and the shadows climb the wall, only to vanish once again. He doesn't eat, and can't tell the difference between sleeping and waking anymore. It doesn't seem important, though sometimes he forgets why.
He gets messages, but he can't summon the will to respond to them.
...Anything would be better than this. He could suffer through anything, the cruelest torture, if only Kyon and Haruhi were here.
They're not. His mind wanders to his gun - at least that ending would be quick. But no, his gun was taken away when he lost his job. He's absolutely powerless - all he can do is lay there in his own personal hell, and hope for the darkness to consume him.
no subject
He curls his head so he's facing away from her, muffling his voice and the way it breaks when he speaks. "Kyon and Haruhi left the island."
no subject
Comprehension yawns, dark and empty before her. That was what had felt off about him, beneath the surface pain. His magic, the gifts he'd been given, the sense of power in him, is gone. He has lost his Lady, and with her, everything that he had lived for.
She closes her eyes briefly, sharing in his incomprehensible loss and despair. "An bandia grian, deonaigh an trócaire tá dóchasm agam do seirbhíseach..." she prays in a whisper, then speaks but a little louder, letting the emotion leech the color from her voice. "Oh my friend." Her tiny hand seeks out his shoulder, offering her support and comfort.