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thoughtformed2011-06-17 09:17 pm
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(no subject)
WHO: The 10th Doctor, Jack and Ryoji
WHAT: Talkin' about heavy things.
WHERE: Jack & Ryoji's apartment.
WHEN: tonight, probably! (refer to time stamp)
[It's quiet, and it has been for a few days. Ryoji, who had been anxiously awaiting closure from Rory's kidnapping, had been relieved to find that he had been safely returned. He felt his anxiety wash from him as soon as Rory's safety was confirmed. Everything seemed lighter. It was another person rescued, though he knew that soon enough, another would fall victim to the Dark Hour. And another, and another. It crossed his mind that if this continued, that he might once again have to offer the options he did in Iwatodai. Finally, he shook his head, clearing himself of his formerly depressing thoughts.]
We'll see what happens ...
[He breathes to himself, allowing the breath to empty his lungs. It's not soon after his mind begins to wander again that there's a knock on the door. Once again his thoughts scatter, and he rises from his spot at the kitchen table. A visitor? Teddie, Atsumi or Minato maybe? Perhaps one of the other friends he's made (or a very, very pretty girl).
When the door opens he takes one look at the Doctor and makes the obvious conclusion.]
Ah ... hello, good evening. Are you here to see Jack?
WHAT: Talkin' about heavy things.
WHERE: Jack & Ryoji's apartment.
WHEN: tonight, probably! (refer to time stamp)
[It's quiet, and it has been for a few days. Ryoji, who had been anxiously awaiting closure from Rory's kidnapping, had been relieved to find that he had been safely returned. He felt his anxiety wash from him as soon as Rory's safety was confirmed. Everything seemed lighter. It was another person rescued, though he knew that soon enough, another would fall victim to the Dark Hour. And another, and another. It crossed his mind that if this continued, that he might once again have to offer the options he did in Iwatodai. Finally, he shook his head, clearing himself of his formerly depressing thoughts.]
We'll see what happens ...
[He breathes to himself, allowing the breath to empty his lungs. It's not soon after his mind begins to wander again that there's a knock on the door. Once again his thoughts scatter, and he rises from his spot at the kitchen table. A visitor? Teddie, Atsumi or Minato maybe? Perhaps one of the other friends he's made (or a very, very pretty girl).
When the door opens he takes one look at the Doctor and makes the obvious conclusion.]
Ah ... hello, good evening. Are you here to see Jack?
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I could not, in my good conscience, not give you the choice.
But it's as you wish, and I will tell you where the Dark Hour came from, what it means, and who I am.
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[Jack stepped from the bedroom, buttoning his shirt and pulling on his suspenders. He looked between the two of them and pulled up a seat in the living room.]
So. Let's get down to business, shall we? I think there's a lot here that we need to discuss, so... why don't you start, Ryoji? What is this thing?
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His voice, though saddened, is matter-of-fact, as if he knew exactly where to start.]
The Dark Hour exists as means of facilitating the rebirth of the maternal being. There is no name in any language for her, but she is referred to as "Nyx." Shadows, pieces of the human subconscious, are also pieces of of her. They wish to return to her.
[And then, for a moment, he hesitates.]
Nyx exists for one reason, and that's to destroy all life she comes in contact with. She brings with her what's called "the Fall," and in that all life is obliterated when she's called.
When people lose the will to live, the Shadow inside of them begins to devour them. They become hollow shells without emotion. [There's suddenly desperation in his voice.] No one is immune. The presence of the Dark Hour signifies that many have already lost that will to live, and that the outcry and wish for Death is greater then the will to live.
I thought that I was brought here in this body to get a second chance, but ... I realize that it might not be true.
[A hand goes to his chest, just above his heart, fingers curling in the fabric.]
This body I was given was a gift. This ... isn't my true form, and Mochizuki Ryoji isn't my real name. It's Thanatos.
I am Death, and in the end, I exist to lead Nyx to this world.
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But there were other parts to this story he had to consider. Other very troubling things. And one issue he didn't even want to think of altogether.]
So then. "Everyone has a shadow"... that means everyone? Rory, sure... but The Doctor? Rose? Nathan? ...Me? You? Everyone? I guess that makes sense... Everyone has things about themselves they don't like. But letting it grow into something that takes over your life like that is just sad.
[Jack let himself slip back into concentration, staring at the carpet. It was interesting, sure, but those weren't the questions burning in the back of his mind, dancing on his tongue, begging to be asked. But he would be patient with the question. Or maybe it was a sudden surge of fear that kept his teeth clamped down onto the inside of his lip.
Knowing he would understand, and like many, many before him, Jack looked to The Doctor to save him from this weight. Whether it was about his own state or not, whatever The Doctor had to say next carried the weight of Jack's heavy heart on his words. He would know what to say. He would know what to do.
He was The Doctor, after all.]
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People fear Death and continue the spiral, even when it's wished for. Shadows are part of any person, they're needed. But there's a balance, and that balance has been tipped.
As for me ... I don't know if I could answer that. As a human, do I have a Shadow?
...
I'd like to think so.
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Everything that is, has a Shadow. Even Teddie, and he began as a Shadow. So I'm certain you do as well, Ryoji. And I know I have.
[He pronounces the words with an exaggerated drama.] The Oncoming Storm... a dark side. A side we don't like. Some people can keep theirs in perspective. Some can't. And every attempt to ignore it is just... whistling through the valeyard, so to speak.
Well. [He makes a thoughtful smacking noise with his lips.]
Ryoji... I'm assuming you prefer 'Ryoji' to 'Thanatos?' I can see why a place like this might get people a little out-of-hand, thinking about nonexistence. The question is, how do we rekindle that will to live, keep you and your body here so you can enjoy the beach parties, and sing Nyx a nice lullaby that will make her nod off again for another few millennia?
How did it happen last time?
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If you would have asked me that before, I would've told you that there was nothing to be done, and that you would have to lie in wait for your inevitable death.
[Then, he hesitates again.]
Those emotions that humanity gave birth to, the pain, the suffering, and the outcry for Death merge into one. They become a being that bellows, weeps and roars for her to return.
There was someone ...
[And his voice begins to get quiet.]
Who used their soul as a wall between that creature and Nyx.
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[Jack shot The Doctor a knowing little smile, having a feeling that he would understand probably more than anyone.]
I guess everything's gotta die someday. But there's no point in just waiting for it. Then it would be more like waiting for the bus, and it's not much of a life.
Seems to me that being in this form has helped you. Not so easy to distance yourself when you're in the mix, is it?
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[Finally, he looks at ease, no matter how forelorn.]
I love my friends, and I love this place ... as awful as people think it is. I love the smell of the ocean, and what it looks like as the sun sets. I love the food here, and I love ... many things that this time and this body have given me.
Perhaps it was easier when I was just a Shadow, and just the Appriser. But even in exchange for this grief, I would never have it any other way.
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[His voice is reassuring, but he fidgets, just a little.]
Still. I suppose I should ask the obvious question.
Do you know what happened to the previous seal? Or how Nyx is able to start sneaking through the barrier, now?
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There were many things that I was sure of in Iwatodai that I can't confirm here.
[It bothers him, but in the same way he finds it hopeful. The events didn't exactly mirror what had happened in Iwatodai, and he found himself a lot less sure of things regarding the Fall in New Moore. As many pieces as had been picked up by the other Persona users, he still didn't know what to make of it.]
The person who became that barrier is here, and... she...
[He breathes. It's only getting more difficult.]
She's alive, but she shouldn't be.
I don't know how separated this place is from the world we once lived in. I keep asking myself if I've been summoned here by this place, but I can't even answer that with any certainty. In Iwatodai, I knew when the Fall would come, and here ...
I don't know. I'm sorry.
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A lot of people are seeing people who shouldn't be here. Anomalies.
[Jack folded his hands in his lap and looked hard at Ryoji, a serious look on his face]
Unless you're some kind of exception. Which means that you're involved in this place as something more than just a resident.
Am I right?
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I don't know. I could be, or somehow, I could have brought all of this with me ...
I don't have an answer. I can't even predict when Nyx will arrive.
[And that terrified him.]
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Unless you have a sort of... inherent knowledge about when things die?
[Jack leaned forward, his expression changing to curiosity rather than accusatory.]
Do you know that kind of thing? I mean, if you're Death, shouldn't you know things like that?
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[The question came as a bit of a surprise, and his brows knit together. For a moment, he seems to be thinking about his answer. Then he replies, carefully.]
If I did possess that knowledge, it wouldn't be my place to say. Death arrives for everyone separately, sometimes we choose that fate, and other times that fate chooses us. Whatever happens, know that everything ends, and nothing is eternal. It's part of life.
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The island has some immortals on it. What about them? Can death come for something that cannot die? Or is the only thing they can do just wait for the end of everything? And then what?
[Jack paused, having to almost physically stop himself from overwhelming Ryoji with questions that had been burning in his mind since he first figured out he couldn't die back on Ellis Island.]
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He doesn't look overwhelmed, but somewhere between saddened and curious. It almost seems like the words he's looking for might not be there, no matter how hard he tries.]
Jack-san ... you can't live life waiting for Death. It comes, like it comes to everyone. There is no such thing as immortality or eternal life. It's a contradiction. Life means Death, and because we believe in life we die. But that life doesn't have to be waiting, it can be living, even when Death happens to those around you.
Don't let Death cause your suffering, just let it remind you of how precious every second is, and accept it when it comes.
I'm sorry I can't give you the answer you want, but you might find it along the way.
[Suddenly, he looks very serious, almost pleading, and he leans forward closer to the two men.]
Please ... don't wish for it. Don't allow those feelings to take you. All life is beautiful, from the lives that seem like they go on forever, to the lives that feel that they've destroyed something irreplaceable.
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I have no intention of just waiting for it. I've had a long time to think about it though, and I certainly don't want it to come sooner than it needs to. If it comes at all.
But you're saying that everything dies? You're sure about that?
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[He pauses, audibly again, taking a breath.]
Everything, there is no escape. The presence of your Shadow proves your mortality.
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I guess you would be the expert.
[Jack let out a sigh and withdrew into his mind, unsure of whether he should be troubled or relieved.]